Fantabulous Fake Flats

I like the idea of flats, really, I do. I just cannot wear them.

I luv to look at them, pretend they will be super duper stylish and completely figure flattering, not to mention comfortable. I stroll about the shoe display, and pick out a susceptible pair.

Usually of the polka-dot, bold floral print or bow-accessorized variety, cause that's how I roll.

They yell from their soles, "pick me, pick me! I'm really really cute! I'll transform your wardrobe one outfit at a time!".

I take them out of the box, and unwrap the thin paper around them and slip them on. They continue to maintain their facade of uber cuteness as the hems of my Jeans of Perfection Svelteness fall at the perfect part of the shoe, letting the toe peep out.

Then, I stand up and look in the mirror. My legs look like sausage in casing. I cannot emphasize enough the need for some heels on this bod. They make such a huge difference in how I look!

So, what's a girl to do? Long hems on my Jeans of Perfection Sveltness + no ability to pull off a flat = mucho problemo.

I had to go to an expert. Big Mama suggested that I go for a moderately comfortable heel, and gave some links to show as examples.

But, I live in Seattle. Being that it SNOWED here today, we still need to cover those toes. Here's what I found:


And they were on sale. Can I get a Hallelujah! from the back. I got them in black and brown. Notice the bow? And the cute liner? Yep, they are just my style. Eliminate meaty looking legs, add some cuteness and spunk, and check it out, they look like flats!

I'm a happy girl.

A