Short Of Breath...

Seen at the gym last night:

If at any time during exercise you feel faint, short of breath or are experiencing heart palpitations stop exercising immediately and seek the help of a physician.

Hmmm, every time I exercise I am short of breath but I'm pretty sure my physician would say to get my tush back up on that treadmill.

Remember this hilarious music video by OK Go? I can't NOT watch it:

Especially the guy in the skinny red pants.

How fun would it be to start doing the treadmill dance the next time I'm at the gym?

I'm sure I would be slightly out of breath and definitely feeling faint.

A

Toddlertainment...

First of all, I am digging these word smooshing titles. Just so you know.

On to the subject of the day. I often have a hard time coming up with fun projects for Bubbalu during the day. A wise mother recently let me in on the time-honored, well known formula:

Toddlers + Water = Hours of entertainment

Here's my easy to follow recipe...

Ingredients:

one kitchen sink
water
dining room chair
beachtowels
measuring cups
bottles
toddler

camera
dryer

Directions:

1. Fill sink 4-5 inches with warm water.

2. Set chair in front of sink.

3. Locate ALL beach towels and drape counter, floor and chair generously.

4. Place diaper-only clad (and socks I guess) toddler on chair in front of sink.

5. Dump measuring cups and bottles into sink.

6. Tell toddler to have at it.

7. Hold tongue when toddler splashes to his hearts delight.

8. Take pics of toddler giggling contagiously.

9. Drain sink and wipe down toddler when he starts to shiver.

10. Wipe up all splashed about and puddled water (there will be copious amounts)

11. Throw towels in dryer

12. Be prepared for an extra long nap as toddler giggled and splashed himself into exhaustion...

A

They Keep You Humble...

Why you should always check your child's homework...



(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

Hee hee hee...

A

Hospital Caroling...

Sung to the tune of 'Jingle Bells':

Sausage toes, sausage toes, swelling all the way

Oh what fun it is to wear flip flops in the snow - hey!

Sausage toes, sausage toes, swelling every day,

Oh what fun it is to wear flip flops in the snow.

Can't put on my shoes, my socks are really tight,

starting to get frustrated about my swelling plight.

I then look in the mirror and see a scary sight,

my face looks like a marshmallow, my skin is just as white!

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sausage toes, sausage toes, swelling all the way

Oh what fun it is to wear flip flops in the snow - hey!

Sausage toes, sausage toes, swelling every day,

Oh what fun it is to wear flip flops in the snow.

Thank you for joining us today on Hospital Caroling with Amanda.  We have discovered that comedic relief really DOES work!

A

What Do You DO All Day?

While on bed rest, what ELSE is there to do but elf yourself and your family?

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

We were elfed last year, but the country twang adds a whole new perspective.

Merry Christmas!

A

Aloha!

Last Friday evening we went to a surprise birthday party luau for one of my dear Aunts. A good time was had by all, we got kinda silly and had some good ole fun. (My family is kinda nuts, but we are proud of it!)

Because y'all have been hounding me, here is my belly shot...even though my eyes are closed and the sunglasses make me look like a bug. A tropical bug, but a bug nonetheless.



Mama's little tropical bug:



Complete with flower leis and blue tractor:



And then we got decorative inklings and turned him into this:



Why? Because it's FUN.

A

Tickling The Ivories?

This is where I found Bubbalu on September 20th:



He was pretty proud of himself.



I thought, "how cute!" Bubbalu is starting to learn how to climb!

This, however, 4 days later, was NOT cute. More like...uh...terrifying :



Of course, did I grab my baby and whisk him down to safety? No. I ran and grabbed the camera to take a few shots and then rescued him. Besides, what's more fun? Me telling you a story about what he did or showing photographic evidence of the craziness that is Bubbalu?

Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say.

People often ask me why I'm so tired with this pregnancy. "You're in the 'feeling really great' time of pregnancy, right?"

Just look at the above picture. 'Nuf said.

A

Decorated Windows...

What happens when your toddler finds a random misplaced tube of lipstick:



I managed to swipe a huge blob of it off his face before the picture was taken, but check out the bottom of the window. Seem kinda...pinkish?

Thankfully, Windex cures all, right Mr. Portokalos?

A

Cozy Toes...

Do these socks make my knees look fat?



Yeah, I thought so.

A

From The Sarge...

Listen up troops, I'm running this base, so when I say "jump" you say, "how high? SIR!"



Y'got that?



Do I LOOK like I'm joking?

We are heading out for a week and a half of fun in the sun (actually, rain) on the Oregon Coast. Have a great week!

A

Sun and Summer Love...

Well, my sister and I are back from our week in Phoenix. We are a bit more tan, MUCH more relaxed, and very rested.

We mastered the art of a Phoenix vacation by laying in the sun much of the day and watching movies while pigging out on yummy snacks during our sun break times.

We had great plans for working out in the air conditioned gym adjacent to the pool, but never seemed to make it over there.

Wanna know why? This is the pool:



Yeah, that's why.

I couldn't bake in the sun as intensely as I normally would have done. I just didn't think my baby would appreciate body temperatures around 100 degrees, so I mostly hung out on the side of the pool and read a book (well, I actually read 4 books, and played numerous Sudoku games).

I also drank almost a gallon of water a day and watched a total of about 10 movies. Not too shabby!

The highlight of the trip was witnessing a dear cousin of mine be married to her sweetheart. And while we (my Sister, Aunts, Grandma and girl Cousins) emulated the 'Big Fat Greek Wedding' scene the morning of the wedding at my Aunt's house, we managed to keep our craziness in check for the wedding ceremony and reception. Well, for the most part anyways. I am NOT posting a picture of me dancing the Twist.

For your enjoyment, a wedding picture tribute. Click on the play button to serenade your viewing:

Discover Louis Armstrong!

Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife?



You may now kiss the bride:



Now presenting for the first time Mr. and Mrs...:



They're Married!!!



Bouquet tossing:

Garter-fetching and tossing:

The proud garter catcher, who slid in Travolta style to snatch his prize, nearly causing my Aunt to fall off her chair in hysterics:

The last dance:

Off to Mexico!

Congratulations Bree & Nick, we love you guys!

A

How To Eat, Toddler Style...

Words are not necessary...

A

Life With A Toddler...

Sometimes I think my child is exceptionally brilliant. Other times...not so much.

Bubbalu was having a full conversation on the phone with himself this morning, which made me smile. He had all the different facial expressions down and everything. Too cute. Then we read some books and he pointed out everything I asked him to find.

Oh so brilliant, right!?

Then a few minutes later I turn around and he's trying to eat diaper cream right from the tube.

Life with a toddler...

A

Onions Anyone?

Guess what I learned I may have at my OB appointment this past Thursday?

Oniomania.

Definition: for the compulsive desire to shop, more commonly referred to as shopping addiction or shopaholism.

I though it had to do with an obsessive need to eat onions. Which a certain brother-in-law of mine suffers from (you know who you are!).

And though I greatly like to shop, I usually don't purchase anything. What's the term for that? Noncommittoniomaia? Windowshoppyicism? CompulsoI'mjustlooking?

While waiting for my appointment to start my always entertaining husband picked up a Taber's Medical Dictionary and started quizzing me on medical terminology just for fun. Cause what else are you going to do while waiting for your appointment to start. Read a pamphlet about peri-menopausal symptoms or painful urination?

Anyways, we got to see our new little peanut wiggling around on the ultrasound screen, bringing bright smiles to our faces. I learned I need my blood drawn again, bringing a sad scowl to my face.

A

Cougar Bait...

My husband had been a teaching assistant in dental school this past year. He enjoyed working with the younger classes, helping them learn and develop their dental skills.

The last week of school they announced a 'Wear your favorite T-Shirt to Class' day that Lance participated in.

He came home and said that he was made fun of the entire day, with fellow students pointing and laughing at him. Apparently I am out of the slang loop, as his shirt was this one:

Now, I have never been one to be verbally trendy. I still say "cool" and "awesome" which I am pretty sure hit their peak 10 years ago.

So, anywho...a cougar is described in urbandictionary.com as :

• A woman from approximately age 45 and up that particularly prefers and attempts to attract young attractive males of a considerable age younger than herself.

Obviously, Lance did not know that. He readily admits he is afraid of real, live ANIMAL cougars...after a particularly scary hunting experience when he was younger.

Apparently, he now needs to be afraid of a whole new breed of cougar, as his shirt was blatantly inviting older women to hit on him. Good thing someone let him (us!) in on the real meaning.

The really funny thing about this? Lance's 14 year old brother has the same shirt. Should I tell him the real meaning?

A

My New Favorite Commercial...

Saw this commercial for the first time this afternoon, and about fell off the couch cause I was laughing so hard:



Isn't it the best when you laugh so hard you cry?

A