Top Ten Things To Do Other Than Pee On The Potty...

Top Ten Things To Do Other Than Pee On The Potty:

1. Tear 18 million tiny pieces of toilet paper up and throw half into the toilet and half onto the floor...for decoration.

2. Adjust toilet paper bar up and down, up and down, up and down....to ensure you are responsible for the first incidence of re-drywalling in our new home.

3. Fake Mama out by grunting and groaning loudly...when she comes she will discover that instead of using the potty to poo, you were just pulling off your socks.

4. Sing your ABC'S as loudly as possible...surely this must be the appropriate time and place to practice them.

5. Pull open and empty the convenient little drawer right next to the potty that Mama has stocked with necessary bathroom essentials.

6. Pick at your toenails. After all, you went through so much grunting and groaning (see #3) to get your socks off you may as well make good use of the freed toes opportunity.

7. Pick your nose. Might as well.

8. Notice that Mama forgot to move the soap dispenser out of reach and attempt a hand soap pumps-per-minute record.

9. Gleefully discover that if you can scoot your Cars potty seat back far enough you can play in the toilet water WITH YOUR HANDS! Score!

10. With your new found toilet water access, splash a bunch of the toilet water on the floor. Being that there's a bunch of soap on it already (see #8) you might as well help Mama out a bit and do some mopping. I am certain she would appreciate using toilet water for floor cleaning purposes.

(MAYBE) 11. If you have to, I guess you could pee...but just a little bit, you need to save a whole bunch to wash your Lightening McQueen underwear with. He's been looking like he needs a bath...

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Dinner Parties Are Not Meant For Children...

So we took the littles to a dinner party on Friday night.

It was a beautifully remodeled, Pottery Barn invoking, magazine photoshoot ready, stylish waterfront abode. I wanted to explore every inch of the place but didn't think our lovely hosts would appreciate me nosing around their laundry room or master bedroom closet.

I alternately spent my time panicking that my sunless tanner was emitting a scent only described by a metallic crossbred with my need-to-be-replaced running shoes and worrying that my toddler might walk up to the host, hold onto her chic capri pants and stare at her intently while filling his diaper with another, even more horrible, scent.

Less than five minutes after arrival Bubbalu threw both of his entertainment (matchbox cars) into the lake, once again solidifying my reasoning for purchasing his toys used. While that was quite entertaining for the rest of the guests I was less than thrilled. What am I going to occupy my inquisitive, stubborn, high energy toddler boy with now? Easy peasy: the neighbors' purple balloon which also ended up in the lake, rocks...which also ended up in the lake, and his sippy cup which ALMOST ended up in the lake. I just didn't want HIM to end up in the lake.

Bubbalu refused to eat his hot dog or anything resembling a normal diet and filled up on tortilla chips and watermelon. Ingenious combo, no? At least he drank milk. Sheesh.

Luckily there was a perfectly adorable chocolate brown lab for him to play with and a whole house full of understanding 'we have SO been there' folks.

Lil Chick blew out her pants while walking in the door which happily gained us private access to the master bathroom for changing duty. Stunning. Both the bathroom AND her diaper. She behaved very well but screamed halfway home to let her Mama know that she did, in fact, leave a bit too late. And by late I do mean 7:30.

Oy...

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Paper Globes...

I found an awesome tutorial for paper globes over at the talented Heather Bailey. I decided that since I have a ton of scrapbook paper and zero hangydobbers for Lil Chick to stare at instead of sleeping, I deemed the project necessary.



I was extremely pleased with my results and enjoyed the project. I make three varying sized coordinating paper globes for Lil Chick's room and hung them at staggered heights with clear thread to act as a mobile:



Oh wait, who's that cutie in there!?

Hi sweetie...



(sigh)

OK, back to the paper globes. I got bit by the paper globe bug and proceeded to make another two sets of three for my sister who is expecting two babies soon. I coordinated the paper with the baby crib bedding colors she had already picked out and got to work. At 20 circles per globe, that is 120 circles folks! I liked how they turned out even better than Lil Chick's.

I hung them from lights in my house as decor during her baby shower:



So why don't you try your hand at paper globes?

My hints and tips for success:

• When coordinating papers and patterns, go outside the box a bit. Sticking with one hue leads to a boring paper globe . I prefer the globes that have an extra pop of intense color or a striking pattern. And no, they don’t look too wild or crazy. It just works. Trust me.
  
  
• Get thyself a paper shape cutter. If I had to cut out twenty circles by hand for each globe, this post wouldn’t exist and my baby girl would be staring at nothing but the ceiling. However, it would be a perfect ‘the kiddos are in bed and I need some therapy’ mindless task. Maybe something to do while watching Friends reruns over and over again….not that I do that (every night at 10:00).
  
  
• Use a glue stick to affix the circles to one-another....and make sure you have PLENTY of glue sticks proportionate to the project at hand before you begin. Make sure said glue sticks are NOT the seven year old glue sticks you purchased on a thrifty stock-em up clearance sale that have since turned to stone. These don't work so good. You may even have to make an emergency late night trip to Rite-Aid to remedy the situation...not that I did that (night before the party, 10:30 PM).
  
  
• Use the never-used-forgot-I-had-it paper scorer attachment on your paper cutter to make the folding super easy and crisp.

And WHERE is the tutorial? Download the pdf file off of Heather Bailey's site. Scroll down, bottom right under FREE Patterns. Not only is the pattern free, but scrapbook paper? C'mon, it's SO cheap...especially if you have one or three tote bins full of it just sitting around, right?!

Enjoy!

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