Baby Clothing System...

I went over to help my baby sister set up for her two babies who will be arriving this summer.

I forgot how much fun it is to go through tons of baby shower gift bags and set up a brand new nursery. It also reminded me how badly I need to reorganize Lil Chick's room.

Being that I have six different sizes smashed into her changing table/dresser, it's no wonder Lance gets confused when trying to dress her:

No, not those light pink 3-6 month pants, she's WAY too small for those. And not those light pink 6 month pants, they are way too short for her. No, not those light pink 0-3 month pants, they fit her funny on her legs. Here, put these newborn light pink pants on her, they are a perfect fit, can't you tell?

Honey, what's the problem? What, you don't understand my Baby Clothing System?

Let's start with the basic onesie.

Onesies:

The onesies on the front left side of the top drawer are reserved for occasional, they-don't-match-or-fit-great-but-are-there-for-emergencies onesies.

The onesies in the front middle of the top drawer are my favorite in not only style, but fit and color as well, but usually aren't there because they are either:

• in the laundry
• washed and folded and waiting to be put away on the floor of the living room, or
• in the diaper bag.

The onesies on the front right side of the top drawer are long sleeved or unisex onesies, best used for layering purposes.

The onesies and random tops in the back top drawer are matched sets that should NOT be desecrated by pairing them with non-matchy-matchy pants. If you do, then the pants are left lonely and sad, while the shirt marches on without them, getting stained and wash worn in an uneven ratio that completely upsets the system.

Unless you use that one pair of super cute minimally decaled jeans that are oh-so-cute and bootcut, THEN you may use the onesies and random tops in the back top drawer. But make sure you put on those Mary Jane shoe looking socks on to complete the look, or else it doesn't go.

See? Clear as mud.

I could go on, being that I have five dresser drawers, two shelves within the dresser, a five tiered shelf in the closet, two hanging rods, the shelf above the closet hanging rods and the entire floor of the closet worth of Baby Clothing System to share with you, but I won't.

Why?

I'm starting to get a wee bit confused...

A

Top Ten Things To Do Other Than Pee On The Potty...

Top Ten Things To Do Other Than Pee On The Potty:

1. Tear 18 million tiny pieces of toilet paper up and throw half into the toilet and half onto the floor...for decoration.

2. Adjust toilet paper bar up and down, up and down, up and down....to ensure you are responsible for the first incidence of re-drywalling in our new home.

3. Fake Mama out by grunting and groaning loudly...when she comes she will discover that instead of using the potty to poo, you were just pulling off your socks.

4. Sing your ABC'S as loudly as possible...surely this must be the appropriate time and place to practice them.

5. Pull open and empty the convenient little drawer right next to the potty that Mama has stocked with necessary bathroom essentials.

6. Pick at your toenails. After all, you went through so much grunting and groaning (see #3) to get your socks off you may as well make good use of the freed toes opportunity.

7. Pick your nose. Might as well.

8. Notice that Mama forgot to move the soap dispenser out of reach and attempt a hand soap pumps-per-minute record.

9. Gleefully discover that if you can scoot your Cars potty seat back far enough you can play in the toilet water WITH YOUR HANDS! Score!

10. With your new found toilet water access, splash a bunch of the toilet water on the floor. Being that there's a bunch of soap on it already (see #8) you might as well help Mama out a bit and do some mopping. I am certain she would appreciate using toilet water for floor cleaning purposes.

(MAYBE) 11. If you have to, I guess you could pee...but just a little bit, you need to save a whole bunch to wash your Lightening McQueen underwear with. He's been looking like he needs a bath...

A

Dinner Parties Are Not Meant For Children...

So we took the littles to a dinner party on Friday night.

It was a beautifully remodeled, Pottery Barn invoking, magazine photoshoot ready, stylish waterfront abode. I wanted to explore every inch of the place but didn't think our lovely hosts would appreciate me nosing around their laundry room or master bedroom closet.

I alternately spent my time panicking that my sunless tanner was emitting a scent only described by a metallic crossbred with my need-to-be-replaced running shoes and worrying that my toddler might walk up to the host, hold onto her chic capri pants and stare at her intently while filling his diaper with another, even more horrible, scent.

Less than five minutes after arrival Bubbalu threw both of his entertainment (matchbox cars) into the lake, once again solidifying my reasoning for purchasing his toys used. While that was quite entertaining for the rest of the guests I was less than thrilled. What am I going to occupy my inquisitive, stubborn, high energy toddler boy with now? Easy peasy: the neighbors' purple balloon which also ended up in the lake, rocks...which also ended up in the lake, and his sippy cup which ALMOST ended up in the lake. I just didn't want HIM to end up in the lake.

Bubbalu refused to eat his hot dog or anything resembling a normal diet and filled up on tortilla chips and watermelon. Ingenious combo, no? At least he drank milk. Sheesh.

Luckily there was a perfectly adorable chocolate brown lab for him to play with and a whole house full of understanding 'we have SO been there' folks.

Lil Chick blew out her pants while walking in the door which happily gained us private access to the master bathroom for changing duty. Stunning. Both the bathroom AND her diaper. She behaved very well but screamed halfway home to let her Mama know that she did, in fact, leave a bit too late. And by late I do mean 7:30.

Oy...

A