Ever felt frustrated with how difficult and confusing it is to thread a sewing machine? Goodness gracious, I know I've had troubles with them. Bobbin cases, tangled thread, weird loop-de-loops and then threading the needle?
Oy, it almost makes ya want to throw the whole dang thing out the window.
However.
Give me a plain ole sewing machine ANY day. I just spent the last WEEK learning how to properly thread my new serger.
Yes, it DID take a week. (Was slightly distracted on an every-five-minute-whine-session schedule by Bubbalu and Lil Chick)
Yes, there are FOUR threads to figure out. (FOUR! All at the same time.)
Yes, it requires a TWEEZERS to thread the serger. (I should only have to use tweezers for C Sections, plucking errant eyebrow hairs or removing a splinter from Bubbalu's hand.)
Yes, there is an upper looper and lower looper. ( A WHAT!?)
Yes, I've read the manual cover to cover and still am not quite sure what the upper looper and lower looper IS or WHERE they are on my serger. (Um, WHAT?!)
Yes, I've watched the instructional DVD's that came with it and still am not quite sure what the upper looper and lower looper IS or WHERE they are on my serger. (Yes, I DID watch an informational DVD on the proper use of my Serger. Stop laughing. I am NOT a nerd!)
I'm feeling a wee bit intimidated. (As if you couldn't tell)
Besides, any fast moving machine that has a cutting BLADE on it scares me. Especially when my fingers are less than an inch from said blade. (A BLADE.)
A Blade + Amanda's fingers = Amanda freak out.
I haven't named my serger yet, but I'm thinking it needs an appropriate name. I may need to wait awhile and see how it treats me first. If it cuts me, it automatically gets an ugly name. If it makes perfect, professionally finished seams with ease, it will get a lovely name.
I'll just have to wait and see.
Off to the crafting room I go, but have no fear! I have a phone within reach so I can dial 911 should my serger get all riled up and attack me...
A
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Dear Costco,
I must say I am disgruntled and disappointed at the 2010 calender selection provided at your local warehouse. I was unable to find one to suit my taste as you are no longer carrying the calender style I have purchased for the last...oh...FIVE years or so. Why aren't you carrying the Mary Engelbreight calender this year? Did you say something to tick her off?
In desperation, (after all, it WAS January 4th already) I purchased the scenic Washington calender. Not that I don't love scenery, I'm just not a fan of scenic picture calenders. I also don't like cat or dog calenders or the top 12 wild game kills in Washington calender.
Today my Mother informed me she has purchased an adorable and SASSY calender that far outshines my scenic Washington calender. She said it was even advertised as being a SASSY calender. They were pretty much thinking of me when they designed it, I'm sure.
What really frustrates me is that she paid $0.49 less than I did for the aforementioned sassy calender that she has in her possession.
Costco, dear Costco, you really bit the big one on calenders this year.
Good thing you redeem yourself with your $1.09 Mocha. Goodness gracious, I'd forgive A LOT worse than shoddy calender selection for a $1.09 Mocha. For example: One day I asked my husband to pick up romaine lettuce from our local warehouse and he said they were ALL OUT of romaine. I about fainted right then and there. Good thing I had a $1.09 Mocha to revive myself with.
Costco, we're still friends. I'm still your biggest fan. Our house is still a product promoting Kirkland Signature billboard.
Let's just do better with your calender selection for 2011, M'kay? Maybe consider carrying a sassy calender for your #1 fan.
Come December I'll be on the lookout, Mocha in hand.
With deepest regard and affection,
A
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So I've been perusing websites looking for bathing suit options, and came across this...uh...article of clothing in the swimsuit section. Apparently it is designed to wear with a bikini top:
"Yes Ma'am, this piece will help to emphasize your saddle bags and inner thighs, but you will have the THINNEST knees on the pool deck!"
A
