Monday, February 14, 2011

Nautical Stripes...


NY Fashion Week showed Nautical inspired wear is back! I LOVE this type of clothing. Simple, clean cut lines, casual yet preppy dresses, All American colors (Red White and Blue!), and STRIPES. I LOVE me some STRIPES. However, you and I both know how stripes can look on a person.

WIDE horizontal stripes across a (*Ahem*Postpartum x2) belly? Forget it.
TINY horizontal stripes?? A bit better.
Vertical stripes? Acceptable.
Cleverly placed slimming asymmetrical stripes? AWESOME! I would classify it as the optimal clothing optical illusion.

Stripe Example #1:


Hello slenderization! The angles will accent your lower ribcage (smallest part of the torso) and the layers across the (*Ahem*Postpartum x2) belly are pure disguising brilliance. Just add cute jeans, a pop of color in accessories, flower pins, or shoes and good to go.

Example #2:


Tiny ticking-esque vertical stripes? Winner! I don't know about you but I LOVE the bow....which makes this skirt: Winner Winner Chicken Dinner.

Example #3:


As the national spokewoman for Females Who Are Pear Shaped (FWAPS!), I heartily recommend this dress. Emphasize the upper twins, de-emphasize the lower twins. YouknowwhatImean.

Example #4:


Same logic as #3. Hello comfortable. Summer chic anyone?

Not on my recommendations list (Horizontal stripes on small fitted shorts? NO) but I have just one question:



Why do her ta-ta's have wings?

Happy stripes shopping!

Amanda

(All clothing from Modcloth.com)


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Saturday, February 12, 2011

Cleaning Counters....


I was all ferklempt because I forgot to put the instructions to Candy Land back in the box before putting it away. The instructions have been sitting on my counter for three days because I kept forgetting about it. I kept moving it to "put this away TODAY" piles on my counters.

Only this morning did I finally realize, "What in God's green earth could go SO wrong that one can't figure out how to play Candy Land?!?"

Recycle bin.

A

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Thursday, February 10, 2011

I am SO over Poop...


I am so over poop.

Poop of every brand, variety, scent, breed, classification, pattern, family, genus,
kind, order, set, type, complexion, color, connection, denomination, description, designation, fiber, gender, manner, mold, nature, number, persuasion, stripe, style, temperament, variety, way, cast, character, class, grade, make, quality and/or quantity, sort, species, distinctive label, gradation, grouping, rank or status.

That is all.

A
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