Tank Top Sassification Inspiration...

I have three brand new (tags still on!) ribbed tank tops waiting for my time and some sassification inspiration. They are boring and bland, just a plain heather gray, black and navy. I want to just give em a little style and interest oomph...just a notch above humdrum.

We are still setting records of temperature lows and rainfall here in the Pacific NW, but I need some sort of (looking forward to) sunny weather project. So hopefully that means I can complete a few of these by the time sunny weather arrives.

These cascading ruffle embellishments are everywhere. I'm liking the tone-on-tone look:


(Charlotte Russe)

Yes, I realize this one isn't a tank top, it's a tankini swimsuit top. Cute, huh? I'm loving the idea of an off-center knotted sash that helps cinch the smallest part of the ribcage to produce the hourglass effect:


(J. Crew)

Simple rows of casual eyelet lace let this ordinary tank become more delicate and feminine. Perfect for layering:


(J. Crew)

Simple rows of elastic thread detail give this tank a flattering pseudo v-neck:


(Anthropologie)

Lastly, my fave! Just add a simple patterned bow tie to ramp up the style rating of your fave summer tank top:


(Modcloth)

Now, I just need to find a way to entertain my 2 and 4 yr old for hours on end while I play with my sewing stuff. Hmmmm, any ideas?

Hope it's sunny wherever you are!

Amanda

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For My Daddy Picks...

Shhhhh. Don't tell my Papa.

'For My Daddy' by VintageDutchGirl

Gifts my Daddy would love and appreciate for Father's Day...

Washington Plyboo Cutting Bo... AHeirloom $40.00	Circuit Board Tie - Metallic... ScatterbrainTi... $30.00	BIKES Letterpress Art Print 1canoe2 $15.00
Geolog Mini Wood Grain Noteb... CampfireChic $5.50	Cool Mint Dark Chocolate Tru... KianaChocolate... $12.00	MAGNET BOLT Micro Cache Wate... CacheCreations $7.99
Scales of Justice beautifull... collageOrama $6.99	Hiker Symbol - Button Pin Ba... theangryrobot $1.50	Happy Camper Pillow - green chickabeestudi... $10.00
Leather iPhone, Droid, Cell ... TinderBloom $27.00	Mt. Baker 3 folded greeting ... dwinjames $7.95	Wild Thing Set evesimone $24.00

Treasury tool by Red Row Studio.

Farmer Jed's Orange Grove...

Boy, "Seriously Farmer Jed, what HAPPENED to your oversized orange grove???"



Farmer Jed, "What are you talking about, yellow cap huge boy? These amazingly ginormous ears of corn and apple as big as my face severely restrict my peripheral vision."

Boy, "Your entire orange grove what picked apart by what appeared to be a famished 4 yr old human! Dude, what's up with your pants? Are you wearing an overall SKORT?!"

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This is what ran through my head after serving the kiddos lunch.

I need to get out more...

A

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK...

Gotta love a lumberjack:



While I was sleeping last night my Red Plaid Infinity Scarf made it to the FRONT PAGE of Etsy! SO excited :)

OK, who will sing this one with me?



A

UnBrilliant...

When you get the brilliant idea to offer straws to your kids to drink their tomato soup instead of using a spoon, just ignore it.



Trust me.



Maybe I need to drink another cup...er, pot of coffee because obviously my brain is not on.

OR, maybe the paint fumes have finally gotten to me. Yup, I have another painting project going on. Another room that will be transformed so it feels more like ME. That better serves our family and our (OK....my) great organizational needs.

Translation: I'm slightly messy. I have issues with organization. I LOVE the look and concepts, and drool over pictures of organized, compartmentalized, sorted and labeled storage areas. I just can't get it there. There's a major mental roadblock. Really, I need to call my sister, offer her a mocha in exchange for whipping our room into shape.

I have the mess + she has the ability( Hot Venti Mocha) = DUH. Right?

Becca, seriously, I need ya girl...

A


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Yellow & Teal Anthro...

All images Anthropologie

A

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POOP is off my list...

For the greater good off all mankind, I have decided to put a limit to my use of the "p" word. (Insert massive cheering) You know, that word that is used a couple billion times during the potty training process.

The one that can make or break ya. Who really cares about a bunch of urine anyways? After working in hospitals for over 9 years it will barely make me lift an eyebrow. It's the OTHER STUFF that is the issue here.

I have to stop and remind myself that in normal, adult conversations poop (whoops, broke my rule) is not usually an appropriate or classy subject to discuss. HOWEVER, in the Mommy conversation world (which really is limited to a maximum of three exchanged sentences before you have to run off to rescue, relieve, save, comfort, cajole, intercede or discipline your child.) it is near the top of the:

Most Frequently Discussed Topics of Conversation (Mommy of kids under 5)

A few others that make the list:

1. Sleep - Lack of napping, night sleeping, swaddling, lack of or (rarely) excessive, nightmares, jammies, bedding, snoring, crying, bedtimes, best nap times, one or two naps, length of naps, getting your child to sleep, too early wake times, perfect nappers, nap avoidance, sleepwalking, sleep talking, sleep books, sleep studies etc. Sleep is also a make or break ya subject.

2. Eating - Everything from breastfeeding vs bottle feeding, issues with breastfeeding, colic, allergies, lactose intolerance, feeling guilty of no veggies in toddler diet, whole wheat vs. white, bottles/sippy cups/regular cups transitions, late night snacking, making/buying baby food, milk, toddler picky eating, silverware amounts of meals, day snacking, organic food, desserts, soda, etc.

3. Discipline/Behavior - bragging of perfection, commiserating about defiance, ideas or tactics to try, ages and stages, tantrums, strong willed children, passive behavior, aggressive behavior, sweetness, sullenness, shyness, caring, sharing, politeness, anger, parenting skills (including judging other parents' tactics - a big no-no in my book), etc.

Then of course, my current top topic:

4. Elimination - brand of diapers, E C ing (potty training from birth), cloth vs. disposable diapers, diaper wipes, soaps, creams, diaper rash, diaper rash and some more diaper rash, unscientifically proven but believed by Mamas worldwide: TEETHING DIAPERS, potty training, lack of or early potty training, potty seats, potty chairs, accidents, purposeful elimination in relation to #3 listed above, lack of aim (boys boys boys...*shaking head*), night time elimination, tactics for potty training, swim diapers (folks, please use them if you are not certain of your child's ability, no one likes floaters in the pool), use of regular diapers in the pool (largest and messiest things you've ever seen - yes they will explode), smells, shapes, consistency, frequency, colors...you get the idea.

But really, I'm purposefully trying to NOT DISCUSS THE POOP (Last time, really, just had to fit it in one last time). If I slip up and start off our conversation by emotionally vomiting poop (whoops, LAST time, promise.) stories all over you, please kindly and gently remind me my new Poop (oy, this may be harder than I thought) free discussion resolve.

What is your current fave (but possibly overdone) topic of choice? Any subject you might need to talk about a wee bit less like I do?

A

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A Perfect "I'm A Mommy" Swimsuit...with SASS...

Last week I broke an 18 year run and purchased a one piece swimsuit.

Don't get me wrong.

It's not yo mamma's average tank.

It's got some SASS:



I needed a Mommy-suit. You know, a swimsuit that I can wear while performing a herculean life-saving lunge towards my non life vested two year old who is tap dancing at the edge of the 12 foot deep pool and not worrying that lady parts are falling out of place. This is not your "lay out and get as many parts of your body nicely bronzed as possible" suit. This swimswuit needs to FUNCTION folks. It has a JOB.

Job Definition: Let Mommy be attentive to progeny while being appropriately covered.

But I want to look cute.

Remember the Retro swimsuit post from Feb 2010? NO? Ok, read it in full here.

I am a proud new owner of the Jantzen Vamp swimsuit. AWESOME, flattering Mommy suit. Also, very pleased to report that I found it at a great price at our local TJmaxx. About 1/4 of current new prices. (I got a Dutch shopping high!)

I also found this TRULY retro nautical inspired vintage swimsuit/dress that I listed for sale in my Etsy:



It makes me think of beach diva models that were completely covered up but still maintained their femininity. These retro-inspired suits are a welcome silhouette and style in a world where swim suits seem to be getting teenier and having bare skin showing is celebrated.

No, I'm not saying bikinis are evil. I like and own bikinis too, I just don't like inappropriate cuts and styles that are risque.

Goodness gracious I sound prudish! So be it.

OK, off the soapbox now.

So, do you have your swimsuit for the summer season picked out? Do tell:

A

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4 Yr Old Wedding Commentary and a Prince Printable...

Awwwww. I'm watching the royal wedding with Bubbalu and Lil Chick this morning. Bubbalu thinks there are some really cool hats, Lil Chick is a little more concerned with her cereal.

Other Bubbalu Royal Wedding Commentary:

Wow, look at all of those cool hats!

I saw two little boy princes and two little girl princes!

Beautiful!

I think that prince is me.

Are the prince and princess going to kiss?

Why are they not going to kiss up there?

Men don’t wear PINK HATS!!!

Are they going to kiss now?

Cool, which of those singing boys is me?

Are they going to kiss now?

Also, I couldn't help myself but create another printable:



I married my prince almost 11 years ago, I'm the queen of his palace, he's the king of my dreams!

A

Rainy Printable....Dutch Priced!...(aka: free)

It's close to the end of April and we are smack dab in the middle of super dreary rainy weather.

I know what you are thinking!

"Uh, duh. You live in the Pacific Northwest. Ya know, Rain Land!"

Yup, I do.

Doesn't mean I'm not sick of the rain!

I am ready for SPRING....and SUNSHINE!

I whipped together a lil ole printable for you, to express my thoughts on the weather. It's Dutch priced just for you. You know, FREE.



Sunshine is coming soon. I'll be thrilled to replace this with a sunshiny spring or summery printable!

Enjoy,

A

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Advanced Mama Scrubbing Math....

Lance and I spent a good 2 hours scrubbing Lola on Monday afternoon. (Lola is my sassy tahoe. Yep, I name all my vehicles. Why? Because it’s fun. And it’s fun to wonder out loud in the Costco parking lot, “Where’s Lola? We totally lost her!” Then the kiddos yell, “THERE’S LOLA!” I don’t know why it’s fun, it just IS.)

No, not scrubbing the outside, the INSIDE. Dis.GUST.ing.

We had an unfortunate non-stop vomiting bout on a car ride home from a Chris Tomlin concert a few weeks ago. Our normally two hour, ETA midnight trip was turned into a 2:00 AM arrival with a very sad and tired toddler.

Not to mention two grossed out and equally tired adults. But that’s OK, we still had phrases from the insanely awesome concert running through our minds: If God is for us, who can be against us? It kept me looking at the big picture, not dissolving into a hissy fit freak out at the present catastrophe.

Which it was. I had run out of my packed AND back-up car stash of baby wipes cleaning her up by the second episode and she was down to her last set of clothes. Six episodes later (Didn’t know someone so small could produce that much, uh, STUFF) and Lola was thrashed. Used up wipes, plastic bags full of gooey clothes, drive thru trash (hey now, don’t judge. Sometimes you just NEED a therapeutic ice cream and oreo blended treat…at 1 AM) and poor Lola looked as if she’d just barely survived a two week non-stop road trip across America. Poor girl.

I successfully took both kiddos’ car seats completely apart (a huge accomplishment ), dumped out the Costco sized bag amount of goldfish crackers that were stashed under, in and around the seats and hauled the pads and covers to the tub for a good old fashioned super detailed dutch scrub-down.

(Scrub brush x shampoo) + 3 hot water buckle de-juicifying pour thru’s/ 17 time rinse outs = a satisfactorily cleaned carseat.

That is some advanced Mama math right there. And everyone thinks my brother has all the math brains in the family!

Lola is back into tip-top shape.

Well, was.

I took my flu-afflicted Bubbalu to the pediatrician yesterday to be evaluated. Of course, we had lots of juice boxes and saltines crackers along to keep his tummy calm.

You know, saltines: AKA the most crumbly cracker on the face of this planet. And juice boxes : AKA entertainment, you blow into the straw and juice shoots out all over you, so awesome!

At least she looked good while it lasted.

And those thousands of juice drenched goldfish crackers? Smashed onto the garage floor….now covered by a kajillion juice drenched goldfish cracker hungry ants.

Ah well, at least I tried. Can you relate?

Off to put carseats back together, re-clean Lola and sweep out and spray the garage floor….

A

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New Mothers: Stuff you REALLY need on your Registry

It always makes me laugh to see the ‘suggested’ necessary items and products that baby stores tell new mothers that they need to be an awesome, properly correct and latest-article-in-a-mother/parent-magazine-following Mama to their new bundle of joy.

Ya know, let me give you some advice. Some real Mom, in the trenches, advice.

Register for stuff you REALLY need to survive the icky parts (potty training, the flu, motion sickness, stomach bug, teething diapers, acid poo blowouts just to name a few) of having a child:

1. A hand held shower head thingymajig. Something like this:




Seriously, save the money you were going to spend on: (…fill-in-the-blank…) that stores want you to believe you need…and get a hand held shower device. Believe me. Trust me. You will unfortunately get far more use out of it rinsing the poo, pee and puke out of clothes than you can even imagine. Seriously, trust me.

2a. Lots of buckets. For use in conjunction with #1. Also used for holding large quantities of bleach water for washing vomit off the floor. (This is a rough walked off estimate, but the puking episode that occurred in our house last night created a 10 x 11 foot rectangle of splattery yuckyness. This doesn’t include the walls and baseboards.) You COULD purchase a bunch of brand new cute buckets, but I prefer to use Dutchware: Gallon Ice Cream containers. They are AWESOME.

OR.

2b. You could use bright blue plastic surgical rinse basins like I use.

Kinda weird? Yup, but that’s what happens when your Mom is an O.R. Nurse. Unusable medical disposable products are the way to go. I keep two at all times in my stall shower for emergency soiled clothes soaking purposes. Pour in some of bleach, fill with hot water from your handy dandy hand held shower head and soak those clothes.

3. Bleach. Lots of bleach. It’s cheap and effective.

I’d rather smell some bleach in my house than the other stuff I’m talking about. Of course, open the windows so you don’t get lightheaded and fall smack in the middle of the splattery yuckyness.

4. Stain pre-treaters, preferably in a spray bottle:

That way you can keep your hands FAR away from the goo on the clothes. I buy it in bulk. Clothes with any sort of food (or other substance) on it gets a good dousing. IT WORKS FOR ME. Which is why Lil Chick can own and wear an off-white jacket that has survived an entire winter stain free. You can send notes of congratulation on my off-white stain free jacket success to my email.

5. A box of disposable gloves. For when you can't avoid touching the yuckyness. Trust me. WELL WORTH paying for these to deal with all of the above:

(Is it just me or does this picture look like a game of guess the wall shadow animal?)

You don’t want those yellow non-disposable gloves that you have to wash out and reuse. You WILL remember what those gloves touched and it WILL make you gag. Besides, I always got water up the loose sleeves and then had pooled icky water on my fingertips. Yech. I buy disposable gloves tight enough so water can’t get in.

6. Old t-shirts. Excellent floor/wall/child scrubbers. You can use em and toss em.

7. Air Neutralizer Spray/Febreeze/Air Freshener. Unless you think the smell of acid poo is a lovely odor to be inhaling all day long.


8. Coffee. Directions: Administer liberally and frequently:



This is just a short, off the top of my head, list. Have something to add? Shout it out in the comments!

Let’s talk Awesome Mama skillz, shall we? In my kid clothing tote bins I still have nearly full sets of (almost!) white onesies in every size*. That’s what I call awesome. (Not that I’m proud of it or anything...Totally lying. I’m ridiculously giddy about it.) That’s my life now, feeling extremely proud of clean onesies and the ability to clean up poo and vomit efficiently and effectively.

Awesome...

A

*(Disclaimer: There HAVE been times that I’ve tossed clothing that is soiled beyond recognition. Cause sometimes you are just plain sick and tired of scrubbing poo. Just keeping it real folks.)*

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