We had our first major Potty Training "incident" this weekend.
Lord of the Dance in the Poo. Yes, that would be poo on the floor...danced in.
Actually, this happened twice.
I totally deserved it. Here I was, gloating over how fortunate we were to have a 2.5 year old boy who always poops in the toilet. No cajoling, bribing or trickery necessary, he was a natural potty chair user. And as I have defined before, he is NOT potty trained, he is in Stage 2 - Potty Intermediance.
Never gloat during potty training. NEVER. It's apt to rebound and smack ya.
Bubbalu has figured how to get off the toilet by himself. While many parents would consider it normal for children to get on and off the potty by themselves, I am (was) thrilled to beans that he couldn't voluntarily leave the potty premises. I would set him up with books and cars and even a sippy cup because I'm nice like that.
However, he figured it out. He slid off the potty and stood in the hallway peeking around the corner at me as I cooked dinner.
When I noticed him I went to help him back on the toilet and almost stepped in a huge pile of poo.
Eeeewwwww!
And yes, he had walked around in it probably kind of confused as to what it was doing there in the first place. I stood there wondering if I was hallucinating or if there really was a huge pile of poo on the floor mocking me.
Lance was home so we tag teamed. He took Bubbalu and hosed him off in the shower and I was left with the poo cleanup. It's one of those parenting moments where you stand there wringing your hands, not quite sure where to start, and briefly fantasize about running away for a few hours (days).
In the end, anti-bacterial wipes, mopping and re-mopping for good measure took care of the mess.
Good thing I figured out the best poo clean-up method, because when it happened again two days later I barely freaked out.
I told my parents the story and my dad says, "gives new meaning to the three second rule, doesn't it?"
I dropped some chocolate chips on the floor yesterday (hey now, don't judge my chocolate chip consumption) and I almost almost bent to pick them up and eat them.
Then I recalled the poo incidents and decided to let them be.
Hmmm, this potty training thing may be good for my diet...
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It's been a lovely morning.
I woke up late this morning, refreshed and rested. And by late I do mean 8:00 AM. What glorious luxury.
How my life has changed.
Rewind three years and slap self upside the head (which would require a degree in advanced contortionism, but whatever).
Repeat after me: "Girl! Sleep as much as possible! Build up your sleep bank NOW, while you actually have the time, availability and room to do so. Relish your shopping and errand running as you jauntily jump out of the car without undoing 18 million straps, buckles and clips and cinches. Celebrate the lightness of your purse as soon you will be required to carry 37 matchbox cars to stave of toddler tantrums and a half-roll of toilet paper to wipe drippy noses (no, I did NOT have a half roll of toilet paper stuck in my purse that accidentally was pulled out when purchasing a mocha or two at Costco...yesterday...at 1:15 pm). Eat a meal leisurely, without having to refill sippy cups with that gloriously thick and tasty but forbidden (due to excess thigh and waist...uh,padding) whole milk or say for the seventieth time in six minutes, "NO, you may NOT have chocolate chips for dinner". Ponder anew the miracle of not having enough dirty clothes to run a full load. That miracle will end, my dear."
But don't forget the conclusion!, "Girl, you cannot even BEGIN to understand how rich in joy your life will be. Your family will double in two years and you will be a crazy harried Mama. But guess what? Despite the stress and chaos, you will be happy and declare a random morning a GLORIOUS LUXURY".
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I've started and deleted about six posts. I'm just not feeling the mojo today. I AM however, feeling the need to consume chocolate and then maybe take a nap.
For those who know me in real life, I am NOT a napper.
My naps require:
- 45 minutes to turn brain auto pilot on and fall asleep
- waking up in a stupor 3 (or more) hours later
- staring at the ceiling for 3 (or more) hours past usual bedtime
- and having a horrible zombie-like morning the following day.
So basically, I don't DO naps.
But today I am actually considering it.
The chocolate? No consideration necessary. No 45 minute chocolate coma induction period. No 3 hour post-consumption stupor. No bedtime delay. No horrible zombie-like morning the following day.
The only opposition to the chocolate consumption is my scale. I can imagine the digital readout changing from numbers to "Did you really need to eat that?".
Being that I have the 10lb Ambrosia chocolate chip bag from Costco stashed in my pantry, it DOES make a good point...
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