I am renaming Bubbalu as Destructo Boy. I will applique his new initials "DB" onto his superhero cape as well as spray paint his initials and logo onto his trike.
A small sampling of Destructo Boy's recent accomplishments:
- got into my toiletries and sprayed an entire small bottle of perfume all over my walk in closet, our clothes and Lil Chick. Husband will be thrilled to find he now smells like a woman. Discovery of crime due to Lil chick screaming in protest. Apparently she thought she was sufficiently fragrant.
- broke 8 candy canes into thousands of tiny pieces. Not such a huge tragedy as I can now make white chocolate peppermint bark.
- unwinding an almost full bobbin of elastic thread and stringing all about the living room. Discovery of crime due to Lil Chick screaming in protest. Apparently she didn't like having elastic thread woven around her NECK and cutting into her skin.
- dumped the newly reorganized, size appropriate, freshly washed and laundered (like ONE hour ago) top drawer of clothes of Lil Chick's dresser. ONTO Lil Chick. Once again, discovery of crime due to Lil Chick screaming in protest. Apparently she didn't like having a drawer on her foot.
- discovered an unattended container of itty bitty black beads and proceeded to unscrew lid and dump them all over the carpet. "They have holes in dem Mommy, little holes in dem!" Turns out that was too boring so he sat at my sewing desk and proceeded to unwind and tangle as many different bobbins he could in a limited amount of time. And let me tell you, that boy is efficient.
- picked out itty bitty black beads off of the carpet one by one and put them back into their container (punishment).
- but that was boring so he dumped the entire refilled container of itty bitty black beads into an empty, open bottomed sewing machine case sitting on the carpet.
- picked out itty bitty black beads off of the carpet one by one and put them back into their container (punishment WITH supervision).
- reset the thermostat. One again, that boy is efficient when time constrained. I'm hoping he'll give me a tutorial of the thing.
- discovered unattended new container of Soft Scrub on kitchen counter. Discovered how to climb ONTO kitchen counter. Discovery of crime due to appearance of soft scrub container sitting in a puddle of squeezed out product.
- attempted to pry metal labels off my Father's legal office file cabinets. Fortunately was unsuccessful.
- also attempted to push every button, turn every knob and try every handle in the interior of aforementioned legal office. ( I fled the office after 5 minutes fearing Destructo Boy's Rate of Destruction was going to multiply exponentially.)
- decided that his nap chart in his room was a stupid place to have stickers. During nap time (where's that sarcastic font???) stickers were relocated to finished wood closet doors. Why not?
All this along with eleven hundred ninety seven near misses and Mama interventions.
And I wonder why I'm exhausted at 7:42 PM?
A
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