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POOP is off my list...

For the greater good off all mankind, I have decided to put a limit to my use of the "p" word. (Insert massive cheering) You know, that word that is used a couple billion times during the potty training process.

The one that can make or break ya. Who really cares about a bunch of urine anyways? After working in hospitals for over 9 years it will barely make me lift an eyebrow. It's the OTHER STUFF that is the issue here.

I have to stop and remind myself that in normal, adult conversations poop (whoops, broke my rule) is not usually an appropriate or classy subject to discuss. HOWEVER, in the Mommy conversation world (which really is limited to a maximum of three exchanged sentences before you have to run off to rescue, relieve, save, comfort, cajole, intercede or discipline your child.) it is near the top of the:

Most Frequently Discussed Topics of Conversation (Mommy of kids under 5)

A few others that make the list:

1. Sleep - Lack of napping, night sleeping, swaddling, lack of or (rarely) excessive, nightmares, jammies, bedding, snoring, crying, bedtimes, best nap times, one or two naps, length of naps, getting your child to sleep, too early wake times, perfect nappers, nap avoidance, sleepwalking, sleep talking, sleep books, sleep studies etc. Sleep is also a make or break ya subject.

2. Eating - Everything from breastfeeding vs bottle feeding, issues with breastfeeding, colic, allergies, lactose intolerance, feeling guilty of no veggies in toddler diet, whole wheat vs. white, bottles/sippy cups/regular cups transitions, late night snacking, making/buying baby food, milk, toddler picky eating, silverware amounts of meals, day snacking, organic food, desserts, soda, etc.

3. Discipline/Behavior - bragging of perfection, commiserating about defiance, ideas or tactics to try, ages and stages, tantrums, strong willed children, passive behavior, aggressive behavior, sweetness, sullenness, shyness, caring, sharing, politeness, anger, parenting skills (including judging other parents' tactics - a big no-no in my book), etc.

Then of course, my current top topic:

4. Elimination - brand of diapers, E C ing (potty training from birth), cloth vs. disposable diapers, diaper wipes, soaps, creams, diaper rash, diaper rash and some more diaper rash, unscientifically proven but believed by Mamas worldwide: TEETHING DIAPERS, potty training, lack of or early potty training, potty seats, potty chairs, accidents, purposeful elimination in relation to #3 listed above, lack of aim (boys boys boys...*shaking head*), night time elimination, tactics for potty training, swim diapers (folks, please use them if you are not certain of your child's ability, no one likes floaters in the pool), use of regular diapers in the pool (largest and messiest things you've ever seen - yes they will explode), smells, shapes, consistency, frequency, colors...you get the idea.

But really, I'm purposefully trying to NOT DISCUSS THE POOP (Last time, really, just had to fit it in one last time). If I slip up and start off our conversation by emotionally vomiting poop (whoops, LAST time, promise.) stories all over you, please kindly and gently remind me my new Poop (oy, this may be harder than I thought) free discussion resolve.

What is your current fave (but possibly overdone) topic of choice? Any subject you might need to talk about a wee bit less like I do?

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A Perfect "I'm A Mommy" Swimsuit...with SASS...

Last week I broke an 18 year run and purchased a one piece swimsuit.

Don't get me wrong.

It's not yo mamma's average tank.

It's got some SASS:



I needed a Mommy-suit. You know, a swimsuit that I can wear while performing a herculean life-saving lunge towards my non life vested two year old who is tap dancing at the edge of the 12 foot deep pool and not worrying that lady parts are falling out of place. This is not your "lay out and get as many parts of your body nicely bronzed as possible" suit. This swimswuit needs to FUNCTION folks. It has a JOB.

Job Definition: Let Mommy be attentive to progeny while being appropriately covered.

But I want to look cute.

Remember the Retro swimsuit post from Feb 2010? NO? Ok, read it in full here.

I am a proud new owner of the Jantzen Vamp swimsuit. AWESOME, flattering Mommy suit. Also, very pleased to report that I found it at a great price at our local TJmaxx. About 1/4 of current new prices. (I got a Dutch shopping high!)

I also found this TRULY retro nautical inspired vintage swimsuit/dress that I listed for sale in my Etsy:



It makes me think of beach diva models that were completely covered up but still maintained their femininity. These retro-inspired suits are a welcome silhouette and style in a world where swim suits seem to be getting teenier and having bare skin showing is celebrated.

No, I'm not saying bikinis are evil. I like and own bikinis too, I just don't like inappropriate cuts and styles that are risque.

Goodness gracious I sound prudish! So be it.

OK, off the soapbox now.

So, do you have your swimsuit for the summer season picked out? Do tell:

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