Friday, May 9, 2008

It Has Happened...Again...

OK, I give up. I surrender. I'm done. Whatever I'm being punished for, I humbly apologize and ask for forgiveness. Just please make it stop.

Remember a few days ago when I mentioned something was up with Bubbalu and his, ah, digestive system? That he got naked and had the wet paper towel scrub down in the Barnes & Noble bathroom?


I was hanging out in the computer room, enjoying my "it's Mama's nap time bloggy freedom!" hour and heard this large boom sound. I looked out the window thinking those pesky construction guys were being loud again, trying to wake my sleeping baby. Couldn't see anything, so forgot about it. After all, I was bloggin'. Hello, priorities.

Megs came over after her OB appointment and we decided to go and get Bubbalu, who had been talking and whining in his crib for the past half hour or so. We opened his door and were blown back by the stench emitting from his room.

It's the kind of smelly bad that is actually funny. You're holding your nose saying, "that is RANK!".

So. Bubbalu had Megs said she normally would have volunteered to change his diaper (which she does with an alarming frequency) but being that I had no gloves, she politely declined. She DID hold his arms so as to not make matters worse.

I was up to my elbows in you know what. We actually snapped some shots because we knew we needed photographic evidence to support our story. I am not sure bloggyland is ready to see them yet. Also, they are still on Megs camera. Kinda makes it hard to post them.

Here's how we handled the episode:

  1. Windows WIDE open.

  2. Strip child down.

  3. Attempt to wipe off majority of filth with wipes.

  4. Dirty clothes in plastic bag and sealed to suppress stench.

  5. Diaper bomb in separate plastic bag to also suppress stench.

  6. Put child right into tub (mental note to bleach the tub down later).

  7. Scrub child head to toe.

  8. Rinse child with the shower, as tub is completely contaminated.

  9. Attempt to soothe child, who is now screaming with terror.

  10. Second mental note to rebathe child after tub is completely cleaned.

  11. Dry child.

  12. Redress child.

  13. Cuddles with Auntie Megs.

Meanwhile, Mama:

  1. Strips down entire bedding.

  2. Thinks she's got it all taken care of, but decides all animals of the stuffed variety are also RANK.

  3. Strips down the changing pad.

  4. Starts washing machine with bedding.

  5. Remembers to spray down the tub with Clorox.

  6. Wipes down the naked mattress and changing table.

  7. Bags up all soiled laundry and brings to laundry room

  8. Turns on fan, ensures window is WIDE open.

  9. Closes door.

  10. Rinses tub out and sprays it again with Clorox ('cause once ain't enough).

  11. Switches laundry over to dryer and starts a load of animals.

To be honest, I couldn't even THINK about dealing with the clothes, I kept them rotting in their little plastic bag until I had a chance to thoroughly spray, soak, bleach, and launder them.

And I am PROUD to say the white onesie (that sustained the majority of the attack) is still, in fact, white.

For the whites I used spray and wash on the obvious soilage areas, filled the washing machine with water, put the normal amount of soap in, then threw a 1/4 cup of baking soda and about a 1/2 cup of bleach in for good measure. I let it soak for a good 3 hours (a little long 'cause I forgot about it) and then restarted the machine. And Presto! they came out white. I SO rock.

I did the colors today, same story minus the bleach. Yep, all is good. I STILL rock.

I am alarmed that my blogging has taken such a fece turn lately. But hey, I'm keeping it real. You wouldn't believe me if all I wrote about was sunshine, flower petals and ladybugs.

Remember that large boom sound I heard earlier? Yep, that was the Bubbalu explosion. He is SO his father's son.



  1. Oh, you brought back such, um, "vivid" memories! I can remember times when I absolutely didn't know where to begin with those messes!! And have simply thrown away more than one outfit instead of trying to salvage it. Kudos, and God bless!

  2. Hilarious and gross all at the same time. Been there. You aren't sure whether to laugh cry or puke! How much stuff can come out of such a small person!

  3. Hi! I found your blog through your link on Pioneer Womans comments. This post brings back such memories; thank goodness I am past that now! I will keep reading. Have a good day!

  4. That is hilarious and has been known to happen to me on a DAILY basis. I feel your pain. Really. I do.

  5. Read this one... it reminded me of your troubles.

  6. I'll send you those pics ;) GROOSSSS....

  7. Ha! That's hilarious! I got here from the Pioneer Woman contest comments...your story made my day; thanks!

  8. Oh, that's just gross. So NOT ready for that! I'll stick to my puppy.

  9. Oh my. Oh My Goodness. You are much, much braver than I....when this happened to me, the clothes, the sheet, and pretty much anything the poop touched went in the trash. I just couldn't stomach washing it all out.

    So, yes, you totally ROCK for making the onesie white again.


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