A Loooong Trip Home...

Hiya folks! In case you haven't figured it out yet, I was on VACATION!!!

Yep, kept it a secret.

I didn't want anyone breaking in and trying to steal my stash of spray paint or piles of old clothes waiting for refashion.

(Besides, if you came over you might have been attacked by the four raccoons that had taken up residence under my FRONT PORCH. Yeah, I live IN TOWN. NO, I was NOT ok with the situation. More on this subject later. )

Anywho, the amount of prep that it takes to pack up a family of four for a planned 11 day (actual: 14. Keep reading) vacation cross county with zero checked bags required a significant amount of time and organized strategy. Which is not exactly on my resume under the "positive qualities I possess" section. And seriously, when I say cross country I mean Pacific to the Atlantic. CROSS COUNTRY.

Four carry on suitcases
Two adult backpacks
One toddler backpack
One stroller
One Lil Chick
One Bubbalu

Huh, is that all? It seemed like WAY more when we were hauling it all through the airport.

We had quite the adventure getting home.

6 AM EST: Wake up, pack everything, say goodbye to Charleston and my Brother and Sis in law for the 5 hour drive to get to the airport.

4 PM EST: Getting ready to board.

7:45 PM EST: FINALLY boarding.

9:30 PM EST: an emergency medial related landing due to strange odors coming from the back of the plane making people sick (My very first thought was: "A strange odor? WOW that must be a really severe case of Montezuma's revenge.")

10:00 PM EST: Deplane...with all the above mentioned stuff

11:15 PM EST: a cancelled flight (insert two completely exhausted and overwhelmed children)

2:00 AM EST: FINALLY arrive at a hotel for an unplanned overnight stay. We are now further east (and farther from home) from our departure city (insert two sobbing children who BOTH just want Mommy to carry them...OK, I wasn't exactly holding it together like a mature adult at that point.)

2:01 AM EST: *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

1:30 PM EST: Check out of the hotel to hang out in the armpit airport of the country. Sorry, it just wasn't particularly awesome.

7:15 PM EST: Take off for puddle jump flight

9:45 PM EST: FINALLY on the next plane to head home! YAY! Only a four and a half hour flight to go....and The kids are SO excited to be strapped into their seats and be flying! Sweet! (sarcasm font)

12:00 PST: Seattle. Home sweet home. More crying all around (OK, Lance was the champion who held it ALL together. Roses* and poems? No thank you! A husband that can carry a 4 yr old on his shoulders, wear a heavy backpack, pull THREE roller suitcases, a toddler backpack AND my backpack so I can carry my barefoot, Dr. Seuss look-a-like screaming like a banshee 2 yr old child? YES MA'AM. LOVE him.)

(*Hydrangea bushes please :)

Oh yes, and a 2 + hour drive home. (THANK YOU DAD!)

3 AM PST: Finally home, crashed into bed.

Yes, that is a 48 hour trip home. Could be worse (um, Ethiopia anyone?) but let's just say that we arrived home last Thursday and I am STILL trying to catch up on sleep.)

The progeny post-vacay reprogramming has been rather, uh, CHALLENGING. Lil Chick's jet lag is now a 10 PM PST bedtime.

But you say, "Hey, that doesn't make sense!?" I know, right? She should be used to 3 hours EARLIER for bedtime...5 pm ish. But, put a 2 yr old down to sleep at 2 and then 3 am EST two nights in a row and BLAM! 1o PM jet lag :) Weird, I know.

I've got some stories to tell, pictures to share and a new airline policy that went into effect on the 2nd half of our return trip to annihilate all coming up. Sounds FUN, huh?!

Missed you all...

A

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Farmer Jed's Orange Grove...

Boy, "Seriously Farmer Jed, what HAPPENED to your oversized orange grove???"



Farmer Jed, "What are you talking about, yellow cap huge boy? These amazingly ginormous ears of corn and apple as big as my face severely restrict my peripheral vision."

Boy, "Your entire orange grove what picked apart by what appeared to be a famished 4 yr old human! Dude, what's up with your pants? Are you wearing an overall SKORT?!"

-----------------------------------------------------------

This is what ran through my head after serving the kiddos lunch.

I need to get out more...

A

UnBrilliant...

When you get the brilliant idea to offer straws to your kids to drink their tomato soup instead of using a spoon, just ignore it.



Trust me.



Maybe I need to drink another cup...er, pot of coffee because obviously my brain is not on.

OR, maybe the paint fumes have finally gotten to me. Yup, I have another painting project going on. Another room that will be transformed so it feels more like ME. That better serves our family and our (OK....my) great organizational needs.

Translation: I'm slightly messy. I have issues with organization. I LOVE the look and concepts, and drool over pictures of organized, compartmentalized, sorted and labeled storage areas. I just can't get it there. There's a major mental roadblock. Really, I need to call my sister, offer her a mocha in exchange for whipping our room into shape.

I have the mess + she has the ability( Hot Venti Mocha) = DUH. Right?

Becca, seriously, I need ya girl...

A


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POOP is off my list...

For the greater good off all mankind, I have decided to put a limit to my use of the "p" word. (Insert massive cheering) You know, that word that is used a couple billion times during the potty training process.

The one that can make or break ya. Who really cares about a bunch of urine anyways? After working in hospitals for over 9 years it will barely make me lift an eyebrow. It's the OTHER STUFF that is the issue here.

I have to stop and remind myself that in normal, adult conversations poop (whoops, broke my rule) is not usually an appropriate or classy subject to discuss. HOWEVER, in the Mommy conversation world (which really is limited to a maximum of three exchanged sentences before you have to run off to rescue, relieve, save, comfort, cajole, intercede or discipline your child.) it is near the top of the:

Most Frequently Discussed Topics of Conversation (Mommy of kids under 5)

A few others that make the list:

1. Sleep - Lack of napping, night sleeping, swaddling, lack of or (rarely) excessive, nightmares, jammies, bedding, snoring, crying, bedtimes, best nap times, one or two naps, length of naps, getting your child to sleep, too early wake times, perfect nappers, nap avoidance, sleepwalking, sleep talking, sleep books, sleep studies etc. Sleep is also a make or break ya subject.

2. Eating - Everything from breastfeeding vs bottle feeding, issues with breastfeeding, colic, allergies, lactose intolerance, feeling guilty of no veggies in toddler diet, whole wheat vs. white, bottles/sippy cups/regular cups transitions, late night snacking, making/buying baby food, milk, toddler picky eating, silverware amounts of meals, day snacking, organic food, desserts, soda, etc.

3. Discipline/Behavior - bragging of perfection, commiserating about defiance, ideas or tactics to try, ages and stages, tantrums, strong willed children, passive behavior, aggressive behavior, sweetness, sullenness, shyness, caring, sharing, politeness, anger, parenting skills (including judging other parents' tactics - a big no-no in my book), etc.

Then of course, my current top topic:

4. Elimination - brand of diapers, E C ing (potty training from birth), cloth vs. disposable diapers, diaper wipes, soaps, creams, diaper rash, diaper rash and some more diaper rash, unscientifically proven but believed by Mamas worldwide: TEETHING DIAPERS, potty training, lack of or early potty training, potty seats, potty chairs, accidents, purposeful elimination in relation to #3 listed above, lack of aim (boys boys boys...*shaking head*), night time elimination, tactics for potty training, swim diapers (folks, please use them if you are not certain of your child's ability, no one likes floaters in the pool), use of regular diapers in the pool (largest and messiest things you've ever seen - yes they will explode), smells, shapes, consistency, frequency, colors...you get the idea.

But really, I'm purposefully trying to NOT DISCUSS THE POOP (Last time, really, just had to fit it in one last time). If I slip up and start off our conversation by emotionally vomiting poop (whoops, LAST time, promise.) stories all over you, please kindly and gently remind me my new Poop (oy, this may be harder than I thought) free discussion resolve.

What is your current fave (but possibly overdone) topic of choice? Any subject you might need to talk about a wee bit less like I do?

A

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Advanced Mama Scrubbing Math....

Lance and I spent a good 2 hours scrubbing Lola on Monday afternoon. (Lola is my sassy tahoe. Yep, I name all my vehicles. Why? Because it’s fun. And it’s fun to wonder out loud in the Costco parking lot, “Where’s Lola? We totally lost her!” Then the kiddos yell, “THERE’S LOLA!” I don’t know why it’s fun, it just IS.)

No, not scrubbing the outside, the INSIDE. Dis.GUST.ing.

We had an unfortunate non-stop vomiting bout on a car ride home from a Chris Tomlin concert a few weeks ago. Our normally two hour, ETA midnight trip was turned into a 2:00 AM arrival with a very sad and tired toddler.

Not to mention two grossed out and equally tired adults. But that’s OK, we still had phrases from the insanely awesome concert running through our minds: If God is for us, who can be against us? It kept me looking at the big picture, not dissolving into a hissy fit freak out at the present catastrophe.

Which it was. I had run out of my packed AND back-up car stash of baby wipes cleaning her up by the second episode and she was down to her last set of clothes. Six episodes later (Didn’t know someone so small could produce that much, uh, STUFF) and Lola was thrashed. Used up wipes, plastic bags full of gooey clothes, drive thru trash (hey now, don’t judge. Sometimes you just NEED a therapeutic ice cream and oreo blended treat…at 1 AM) and poor Lola looked as if she’d just barely survived a two week non-stop road trip across America. Poor girl.

I successfully took both kiddos’ car seats completely apart (a huge accomplishment ), dumped out the Costco sized bag amount of goldfish crackers that were stashed under, in and around the seats and hauled the pads and covers to the tub for a good old fashioned super detailed dutch scrub-down.

(Scrub brush x shampoo) + 3 hot water buckle de-juicifying pour thru’s/ 17 time rinse outs = a satisfactorily cleaned carseat.

That is some advanced Mama math right there. And everyone thinks my brother has all the math brains in the family!

Lola is back into tip-top shape.

Well, was.

I took my flu-afflicted Bubbalu to the pediatrician yesterday to be evaluated. Of course, we had lots of juice boxes and saltines crackers along to keep his tummy calm.

You know, saltines: AKA the most crumbly cracker on the face of this planet. And juice boxes : AKA entertainment, you blow into the straw and juice shoots out all over you, so awesome!

At least she looked good while it lasted.

And those thousands of juice drenched goldfish crackers? Smashed onto the garage floor….now covered by a kajillion juice drenched goldfish cracker hungry ants.

Ah well, at least I tried. Can you relate?

Off to put carseats back together, re-clean Lola and sweep out and spray the garage floor….

A

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High Points and Low Points of Yesterday...

High Point: Sipping my morning coffee

Low Point: Sticking my fingers in poop

High Point: Dry diaper for Lil Chick's nap time - yay!

Low Point: Sticking my fingers in poop

High Point: Bubbalu saying "Mom, Mom, MOM MOOOOOM! I love you so much!"

Low Point: Sticking my fingers in poop

High Point: Big juicy Bob's burger with jo-jos

Low Point: Sticking my fingers in poop

High Point: Sewing a completed nautical pillowcase dress for Lil Chick in under an hour! Woot!

Low Point: Sticking my fingers in poop

High Point: Hanging out with my Mama and Sister

Low Point: Sticking my fingers in poop...at my Mama's house.

High Point: Lil Chick wearing cutie lil underwear!

Low Point: Sticking my fingers in poop....in one of those cutie lil underwear.

High Point: I took that hot-off-the-sewing-machine-dress to show Mama! Thank goodness cause I had nothing else for Lil Chick to wear after....

Low Point: ....Sticking my fingers in poop.

Dontcha just LOVE it when I'm potty training a child?

I talk about poop.

A Lot.

Sorry, but there will be a LOT of potty talk around here. If you're squeamish, you may want to take a Vintage Dutch Girl break....but don't be gone forever, I'll miss ya!

Ok, blurb it out. What were your High Points and Low Points of your day? I'm sincerely hoping you didn't stick your fingers into poop. It's not very awesome. (And if you did? I hope you washed your hands REALLY well. And scrubbed under your fingernails with an old toothbrush like I did.) Ick.


A

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Vacuuming up a Sock and other equally STUNNING information...

Why, hello blog! Sad little neglected blog.

Don't got it lately. The 'it' being the bloggy mojo. Well, lets keep it real, shall we?

I'll just gab and pretend someones listening.

I just vacuumed up a sock. Awesome.

Lil Chick clomped her way from one end to the other of our wood floor wearing her dried-on mud winter boots. More than once... more than a few days ago. OK, a week. (Dontcha just LOVE those cute little shoe/boot tread shaped clumps of dirt? SO handy....you can be all CSI and track the criminal down.)

So I hauled out the vaccuum and hoses and such and got to work. (OK, who am I kidding, my central vac attachements and tube are ALWAYS out. Unless I'm hosting a party, our bible study group or my Grandma is coming over. True story.)

Vaccuumed up the boots tread dirt clumps, vacuumed up all the hair from Bubbalu's haircut (Yes, I moonlight as a barber, didn't ya know? However, I only know one haircut and I'm WAY too expensive so don't even ask. Unless you come bearing coffee giftcards. I may be willing to negotiate.)

Flung the vaccuum over too quickly and SCHLLOOOOOP! the brown sock is gone. Of course, its one of Bubbalu's brand new, just ripped the plastic thingies off (DANG how many little plastic thingies does one pair of socks need?), worn once socks. Why couldn't it have been one of the old ones? (You know, the ones with huge holes in the big toe area that you can just switch to the other foot for awhile...until there are TWO huge holes in each sock....then you just tell em to suck it up and wiggle their toes if it feels wierd. They you pray that they won't go to a friend's house that requires all shoes off at the front door, thereby brandishing the less-than perfect socks...and revealing that Mama doesn't have it all together. I've got a pretty good Shoe Policy Awareness Sock Rotation going on but sometimes I flub. Yeah, those ones.)

Granted, they are a one dollar pair of socks, so really its just a 50 cent mistake. (Nothing at all like shattering one of a kind antiques.)


And really now, I could go out to the garage, open the vaccuum canister and retrieve the stupid sock but that would mean I'd have to get off the couch. And that would make my chocolate chips lonely.

Nobody wants lonely chocolate chips.

There you go. Keeping in real...

Amanda

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Super Mommy Eye can Hypnotize...

I've long used Picnik.com for editing photos, especially for my Etsy shop to best represent my creations.

I uploaded a pic today to try out a bunch of the fun effects.

I discovered what I'll look like when I'm 75....Hello undereye circles:



Meet Naraama, my Avatar:



(singing) Rudoloph the peach nosed Mommy, had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw her, you would even say it glows:



Now, I realize my current favorite teal and red color combo may be awesome for home decor and fabrics but this....this just is taking it a few steps too far:



Peekaboo! I SEE you!

This is what my kids see when I come to check on them in the middle of the night.

And this is the Super Mommy Eye. The Super Mommy Eye sees EVERYTHING that goes on, nothing escapes her sight. She knows who hit who, who ate spoonfuls of chocolate milk powder for breakfast hiding in the pantry, she knows who didn't wash their hands or brush their teeth, she even knows if you are even thinking about talking back. Don't mess with Super Mommy Eye:

This is me if my gray spray paint nozzle is pointed the wrong way:

And this is me trying to hypnotize you, "You WILL bring me chocolate, offer to babysit my children for free, offer cases of Diet Coke, clean my house and encourage me to sew during ALL my spare time."

Did it work? Hope so.

Off to sew and eat lava cakes. Wait a minute, did I just hynotize myself?

Awesomeness...

Amanda

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#1 Grocery Shopping Rule...BROKEN...

I made the ULTIMATE grocery shopping mistake Saturday night.

Anyone?

Can you guess it?

Yes, I went grocery shopping HUNGRY. And not just hungry but ravenous. Growling stomach and all.

Let me tell you something. Other than Sunday mornings during the congregational prayer, my stomach NEVER growls. Not so Saturday evening. Maybe it was prepping for Sunday morning?

So, I did my shopping and didn't really delve into my psyche enough to realize what I was doing. Because HELLO, I was out at the grocery store kid free! My mind goes crazy fun bonkers when I'm set loose like that. Dangerous I tell ya, Dangerous!

My Sister Becca was at my place when I came home. Bag by bag was unloaded and she. couldn't. stop. laughing.

Why? This is why. I brought home:

4 cartons of ice cream

1 bag of lime tortilla chips

3 jars of queso (just in case we got snowed in)

1 bag of Reeses peanut butter cup bites (in pastel wrappers. Because anything in a pastel wrapper can be marketed as EASTER candy. So dumb)

3 Flavored coffee creamer (Coconut cream my NEW FAVE!)

1 loaf of WHITE bread!? We are a hard core wheat bread only household. SERIOUSLY where was my brain?

Oh yes and 2 cans of extra large (but light!) whipped cream.

Busted. No WONDER she laughed at me.

My only saving grace is that I DID purchase 2 lemons, a can of diced green chiles and some fresh chives. You know, the nutritional equivalent of sucking on some pine cones.

Good thing I have superhuman incredible self discipline to avoid those foods or I'd be in MAJOR trouble...

Amanda

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It's Really Just A Gangsta-Wannabe Salutation...

I'm collecting decorative letters so I can eventually have the entire alphabet on a wall in our bonus/playroom.

I keep a list on my phone of what letters I need so when i'm out and about dumpster diving, thrifting, clearance rack perusing or whathaveyou I can quickly see if I need a certain letter or not.

It's not going very quickly.

I'm already imagining the day when I have only two or three letters left and I find a particularly elusive letter. I'll be jumping up and down, pumping my fist and screaming "EEEE!! I found the EEEE!!!" or something equally embarrassing.

Being that it's been awhile and I've only put a fender bender-sized dent in my alphabet-collecting mission I'm needing to do SOMETHING with all these random letters sitting around. So, I just threw em up on the walls in the house.

Yes, I'm having a huge family party here on Sunday and I'm sure I'll get the, "Huh, look at that, there's a huge C on the dining room wall and none of their names start with C. Wonder what THAT'S for?". I'll have to make up something brilliant and wow them when I say it stands for the Spanish verb cocer (to cook) or the four C's of diamond gradation.

Conversation starter? Youbetcha.

Keeps me on my toes as well. Because really, it's going to be a mighty stretch to come up with what V F stands for. Very Friendly? Vocal fatigue (occurs VERY FREQUENTLY in our house).

That's it! Very Frequent Vocal Fatigue. Yup, sounds good to me.

Can you figure this one out?



Spring Break?

Green Beans?

Plant Biology?


Take your pick, I like em all.

And my favorite double grouping of them all:



It's really just a friendly gangsta-wannabe salutation.

And it's always nice to be friendly...

Amanda


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Cleaning Counters....

I was all ferklempt because I forgot to put the instructions to Candy Land back in the box before putting it away. The instructions have been sitting on my counter for three days because I kept forgetting about it. I kept moving it to "put this away TODAY" piles on my counters.

Only this morning did I finally realize, "What in God's green earth could go SO wrong that one can't figure out how to play Candy Land?!?"

Recycle bin.

A

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Changing Lives, One Flat Iron At A Time...

Raise your hand if you own a flat iron/hair straightener.

Raise you other hand if your flat iron has so much baked on hair stylin' crud you are embarrased to call it yours.

Dont'cha just hate it when your hair straightener shreds and damages your hair? Me too. I have a good four years of hair junk built up on it. So much junk that I was shopping for the best deal on CHI flatirons. Cause they are the best...and I have LOVED my Chi. Until the baked on crud started to affect my mental state.

Girlfriends, I'm about to change your life.

I googled every possible way to safely clean your ceramic flatiron.

So far over the past few months I've tried:

* Washcloth with water and scrubbing flat iron while hot. Lots of steam but no crud-clearing.
* Washcloth with hand soap and water- nada
* Washcloth with shampoo and water-mininal help. My fingers cramped up after a 1/2 hour.
* Qtip with rubbing alcohol- nada
* Qtip with non acetone nail polish remover- nada
* Picking off junk with my fingernail - some help but I put a tiny chip in one section of the ceramic plates - Not good. Not recommended.
* Yelling - nada...but I swear that thing smirked at me.
* Smashing again the counter - once again, not recommended

I'm lying in bed trying to fall asleep and I get one of those bright shiny light bulb AHA! moments. Lay in bed, try to ignore the brilliance of the idea and fall asleep. After all, it IS after midnight and the kids will be up poking my eyeballs at 6 AM.

Doesn't work. Mind is whirling.

Finally sneak outta bed and try my idea out.

Schneikees it WORKS! My going on FOUR year old CHI looks brand-spankin NEW. No joke.

(Well, except for that little aforementioned chip I inflicted.)

Any guesses to what I did?

Two words:

MAGIC ERASER.

Thank you, Mr. Clean, for once again bringing your A game to the VintageDutchGirl household. Extremely pleased with eraser performance and will definitely be using again in the near future. Thank you for not damaging my wonderful Chi flat iron in the cleaning process.

Only problem is, it's 1 AM and no one to call and celebrate with. Ah well, that's what a BLOG is for, right?! To take one simple little thing and turn it into a full blown conversation.

Alrighty ladies, get scrubbin those flat-irons! Let me know if it worked for ya!

Off to find warm milk and maybe some soothing, sleep inducing chocolate chip cookies...

A


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*I have been in no way endorsed or compensated for this post by Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. Which is too bad, because I'd make an EXCELLENT spokeswoman. I have LOTS to clean*

Frozen Pink Pants...

It's been super rainy and dreary here. No snow for us.

I can't imagine what would happen if this much rain would have been SNOW. We'd be buried. It would be AWESOME. Lots of tomato soup and hot chocolate, reading by the fireplace, losing Lil Chick in the drifts and making a 14 foot tall snowman. Or snowlady. We're an equal opportunity snowperson building household.

The kiddos have been braving the drizzle and playing outside. Of course, I strip em down to their skivies out on the porch before allowing them reentrance into the house.

Too bad I forgot about Lil Chick's pink fleece pants out there. Fast forward a few days and some cold weather and you have pink fleece pants FROZEN to the deck. SO charming.

Next I left their shoes out. Once again, drenched in rain then FROZEN to the deck. Good thing I buy el cheapo shoes.

So much for the predicted horrendously snowy and freezing winter. Meh.

As for the rest of you who are buried in snowdrifts, what do you do to stay warm? Tomato soup and hot chocolate like we do? Fess us, I KNOW some of you are wearing a snuggie right now!

Spill it...

A

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Don't Assume ANYTHING. It Makes An......

First of all, you need to understand some things about me.

1. I don't pay full price. On anything.

2. I don't like to spend money on kiddos clothing.

3. I'd MUCH rather make Lil Chick a dress instead of spending $$ on one.

So, now that you know those few tidbits, I can continue.

OK, so this Mama had a major "I'm overwhelmed and underappreciated" freak out moment Sunday night...which was promtply addressed and rectified with a Mama only shopping trip Monday afternoon and evening.

It was GLORIOUS! Not to just push a shopping cart without being kicked in the stomach by a 4 yr old but to not have to keep track of two littles. Muchly rejuvinating!

Anywho, so I'm a shoppin and I see this adorable dress at Old Navy that would look superduper cute on Lil Chick:




Of course, the first thing I thought was, "hey, I could make something JUST like this with my extra pink tulle and her tshirt I have at home" but I decided to just go ahead and splurge.

It was full price.

There were NO coupons.

I bought it anyways. I was SO excited!

And sure enough, it looked ADORABLE on her! She twirled and smiled saying, "I pretty I pretty!" (seriously, WHERE do these little girls learn this stuff? I sure didn't teach her to do that)

And it stayed cute the entire 15 hours we owned it.

This is what it looks like now:



Every single arrow points to a splotch of dried on nail polish in hues of dark blue, red and pink. I didn't even bother pointing out all the clear nail polish. It was EVERYWHERE....believe me, the entire bottle was used up.

Oh yes, they didn't just ruin a brand new dress, they also did this:


(sorry for the blurryness....that woman never sits still)

(Looks awash in guilt, huh? Completely unrepentant.)

What you can't see is that Lil Chick is wearing FOUNDATION. Oh yes, my two year old is wearing a full layer of base makeup. Apparently Bubbalu has watched me get ready a few too many times. He's taking notes and practicing on Lil Chick.

I was less than gentle as I scrubbed the polish off with remover....and then had to quickly do a full body shower scrubdown to get the polish remover off their delicate skin.

Whattya know, we only had lukewarm coldish water today! ;)

They are BOTH currently napping...it's a first of Febuary miracle!

What ran through my mind not three hours ago, "huh, I haven't blogged in awhile, what the world am I going to write about???"

Ask and you shall receive...

A


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Iphone Oops

I love how my iphone automatically finished my words and sentences and even fixes my spelling mistakes! SO stinkin handy.

However, if you are writing to thank another blogger for a link and say, "Hey, thanks for the linky love"

That is NOT what gets sent. Feel free to use your imagination.

A

Ethical Parenting with Princess Frostine...

Remember playing the game Candy Land as a kid?

Looked a little like this:



Well, I finally taught Bubbalu how to play a few nights ago.

OH. MY. LANDS.

It was the longest lasting Candy Land game ever recorded on God's green earth.

We went through the HUGE stack of cards (pretty certain Hasbro has added 547 cards to the game's newest edition) twice before I started "helping" him along a bit. I'd already won and was reveling in Princess Frostine's candy castle but in the interest of teaching sportsmanship I decided not to get up and do my "I BEAT you, I am the KING OF ALL!!" shimmy. Didn't think it would set the right example.

Fess us, do you "help" your kiddos along when playing games? How bout so you can WIN???

A

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I USED To Have A Job...

Back when I used to have a job (that gave me things like checks that I could cash for money and self-confidence that I was an educated and appreciated member of the labor & delivery world) I would work three twelve hour shifts three days in a row. 36 hours.

With a half an hour lunch break (often eaten while staring at fetal monitors) that makes it 12.5 hour shifts so that makes 37.5. Oh wait, don't forget you need to get their early to park, walk in, change into scrubs, report to the floor and be good to go by 7. That makes a respectable 40 hours.

WHY does that matter? It doesn't. I'm just rambling.

I always took a day to "recover" after those tiring three 12 hour shifts in row. After that recovery day I was up and running again, back to normal and ready to attack life.

This December my Vintage Dutch Girl Etsy shop went bonkers. In a bonkery GOOD way :) Turns out people LIKE infinity scarves, and especially plaid and fleece ones:

Purple Buffalo, Brown Plaid, Red Plaid, Teal Plaid

I must admit, I'm partial to them too. If you were one of the reasons I was busy filling orders, THANK YOU for shopping my Etsy shop.

I had a superdupercrazybusy month. The Etsy wonderfulness, my two beautiful children turned 2 and 4 and also there was this little thing called CHRISTMAS! Think: seven family parties in four days. Yowza.

I'm a bit worn out. However, I've been taking a recovery-month-of-sorts and can sense the normal returning.

I've got a bunch of sewing ideas, decor ideas, furniture makeovers, upholstery redoing (*Ahem* learning) and then normal jib jabbing coming up this year.

Stay tuned my lovely readers!

A

P.S. For all you delightful lovelies, I have decided to have an indefinitely active Vintage Dutch Girl Etsy shop coupon code for 15% off all orders. Cause you are delightful. AND lovely. Your 15% off coupon code is: FOLLOWLOVE15 . Happy Shopping!

My Hair Has Me All Ferklempt...

I just broke the super sharp upper slicing blade off my serger.

Stupid pin. Yup, I forgot about a hidden pin and let it go through the serger. Not a good plan.

The upper chunk of the blade flew off into a pile of unrolled yellow ribbon on my sewing counter with the sound of Julie Andrews singing supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in the background. Do I need to wear safety goggles when sewing? Maybe.

Been searching online for an inexpensively priced blade replacement. Bah!

I'm feeling a little off today. I think I know why. I'm wearing my hair in a side messy bun and I think my brain's confused. Too much pressure and tension on one side of the head has my neurons misfiring and synapses all askew.

I think I'd better switch sides half way through the day. I wouldn't want to start walking sideways or anything.

That's it. The messy side bun has me all ferklempt today.

Yup, I'm blaming it on my hair.

+ 2 bonus points if you know the definition of 'ferklempt' and have used it appropriately in a sentence within the last two weeks.

+5 bonus points if you have used the word 'Ferklempt' today.

+35 points if you can sing the chorus to Craig Morgan's song 'International Harvester' by heart along with me.

+1,247 points if you can tell me what these points are for.

Told ya I was ferklempt...

A

p.s. you win the point game if you actually clicked over and sang with the video. Tell me, did anyone click over?

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Costco....Thumbnail....Poffertjes....

Let's do some housecleaning!

Nah.

Let's do some cleaning out of the draft folder instead. That's WAY more fun:

***

Saw my kids excellent pediatrician at Costco today but hid from him so he wouldn't see the 10lb bag of chocolate chips, sweet potato fries or hot n' spicy wings packages in my shopping cart...

***

I'd completely forgotten how messy a twenty month old can be while eating.

You know it's getting pretty bad when instead of choosing foods based on their nutritional value I'm choosing foods based on their "scratch off the wood floor with a thumbnail" rating.

***

My take on the annual, held-in-my-small-town Fair:

I don't love crowds. I get crabby at people who walk slowly and then stop in the middle of a walkway forcing everyone to walk around them. However, since I am now one of "those Mom's" who push a gargantuan double-wide Bob stroller around I fully realize I am now part of the crowd problem. My penchant for speed walking and whipping around people with the double-wide Bob doesn't help. I'm pretty sure I startled eighteen or so peoples, whom surely though that there was an emergency or free Poffertjes giveaway that I was rushing towards.

 ***

Not in the draft folder but blogworthy news: Christmas has arrived at Costco. Yes, I already purchased a roll of sassy Christmas wrapping paper. I'm thinking this might be the year that I actually have all my shopping done and wrapped before December. 

Anyone with me on this one???

***

Thanks for providing me with an excuse to ditch the housework. Blogging is much more exciting than scratching crusty dried food off my wood floor with my thumbnail...

A

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Vacuuming My Driveway and Destroying Vanity...

I just got finished vacuuming my driveway. I am now not only known as the Mama whose little boy uses the rhododendron bush in the front yard as a convenient urinal but the crazy lady who vacuums her driveway.

Although, one of my neighbors is a crazy cleaning lady. She washes her windows weekly. Her outside windows. Her outside GARAGE windows.  I'd be impressed if I wasn't so jealous of her mad scrubbing skillz.

I hope she saw me vacuuming my driveway. I hope she was impressed. That's right neighbor lady, I've stepped it up!

WHY was I vacuuming my driveway? OK, it's kind of a story. Keep reading:

Last week I headed into our local thrift store. After throwing the ugly mangly little kid chair into my shopping cart I wheeled right to my favorite section: Furniture.

Right away I spotted an ADORABLE little girl's vintage white dressing vanity and mirror. The paint was perfectly chippy and the mirror had a lovely curve and charming aged appeal.

HELLO BEAUTIFUL.

It was labeled $40 and I snatched that purchase sticker and clutched it to my chest, already dreaming of the many hours my Lil Chick would spend sitting by her pretty vintage dressing table playing dress up and being all girly and such.

I called my Mom (who lives really close) and said, "IfoundthisawesomebeautifulvanitytableforLilChickandIneedfortydollarscashcanubehereinten???"

Thankfully she understands a good find and said she was coming.

I continued shopping while I waited.....until the store director came to tell me that unfortunately someone had already purchased the vintage vanity the day before and that it was mistagged.

*(heart breaking)*

Fast forward a few days and a bunch of phone calls later from a nice lady in our church asking me if I was the one at the thrift store wanting to purchase the vintage white vanity and that she insisted that I should really have it. SO nice. REALLY nice.

I went to pick up the sweet vintage vanity today and smiled when I saw it sitting there.

HELLO BEAUTIFUL. I'm here to take you home, test you for lead, possibly refinish and repaint you, give you crystal cut knobs and a sweet little girl will spend hours and hours by you playing dress us and being all girly and such.

Finally loaded it and a few other treasures into the back of Lola and headed home. Pulled into the garage, randomly hit the automatic open back hatch button and opened Bubbalu's door to take him out.

THUNK THUNK THUNK......CRASH!

I screamed. Then cried. Then mentally groped for the rewind button on that dang life remote that is always lost.

Got the kids set up with a movie inside and sadly threw the biggest chunks in the garbage and vacuumed up the rest of the shattered pieces of a perfectly aged, bevel cut, vintage, curved mirror from our garage floor and driveway.

(Enter a poignant paragraph on the ironic circumstances of the vanity of decorating a little girls room that has led to destruction of a little girls vanity table.)

Being that I need to replace that shattered mirror, anyone know of a great, inexpensive mirror cutter?

*Sigh*

A

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