Upcoming Valentine's day for Silly Geese who love Coffee? It's You, Hi, You're the problem...

    Christmas lights back in a tote all jumbled in a ball, tree packed away, house getting back into order.

Or maybe none of the above because you've been fighting a yucky crud for the past 3 weeks? Just me? If you see my immune system wandering around out in the wild looking confused please direct it home. I miss it.

Looking forward to the next big holiday, Valentine's Day! Of course, I had to take a fun farm themed approach here.  A line of silly geese decked out in heart themed apparel?  Check:

 

 

If you are a silly festive goose you might just love this tee.  It is made of a super comfy and stretchy jersey knit, great for casual wear or layer it with a cute pink themed outfit on as shown above.

Also...if you LOVE a silly festive goose I suggest this tshirt as the perfect present to show your love. Matchy matchy is the ultimate lovey dovey proof of a relationship I've ever seen:

 

 

 

OK, maybe that it a wee bit too THEME for you.  Maybe you would prefer a simple normal style that can be used year round AND for the Valentine's red and pink general color scheme season:

1. MAMA Hoodie Sweatshirt

2. MAMA Crewneck Sweatshirt

3. MAMA Red plaid tshirt

Another multi season design that can work year round is this cute multicolored I Heart Coffee tee, hoodie, and sweatshirt:

1. I Heart Coffee Hooded Sweatshirt

2. I Heart Coffee Crewneck Sweatshirt

3. I Heart Coffee Tshirt

Alright. Now maybe you just aren't so particularly fond of this upcoming holiday because you've recently gotten out of a difficult or damaging relationship. I haven't left you out!  Here you go: It's You, Hi, You're the Problem, It's YOU:

This is a change up and play on words from the lyrics of a popular song 'Anti-Hero' by Taylor Swift.

So whether or not you are celebrating this upcoming Valentine's Day, remember:

💗YOU are Loved 💗

Amanda - VintageDutchGirl

January: Whew...

Once again, life got in the way of blogging! Massive January update:

We started off the year with Lance and I heading out of town to escape for a winter wonderland weekend in Winthrop, WA. Say that five times fast.

As is always the case before we head out on a vacay, I spend many hours packing the kiddos things and whisking them off to Grandmas, packing my things, packing our food, loading the car yadda yadda yadda. Of course it's all topped off with the inability to leave dirty dishes in the sink and you got yourself a tired Mama.

Seriously, I have to bleach spray my sink before I leave or I get all jittery and uneasy. Genetic predisposition maybe? Hmmm, maybe some of Grandma's Dutch deep cleaning stuck!

After our 6 hour drive, we met our Bro and Sis-in-law in Winthrop and stayed in a charming cabin overlooking the Methow River. Private hot tub on the deck, full kitchen, large cozy rooms, fireplace, and SNOW. So very wonderful!

We got a lovely first day of cross country skiing in doing a 14.5 mile loop. The first half was a hard uphill climb then you got to turn around and coast (aka, fly down the mountain praying you don't catch a ski edge and wipe out) the entire way back down to the car.

To warm up you head back to the cabin and jump into the hot tub! And because you are a smart person, keeping in mind to not drastically underestimate your core body temp and stay in so long you overheat. *Ahem*

The next day the boys decided to head out of town a mile or so up in the mountains to find better snow for sledding fun. The girls? Sleep in, watch movies, lazily drink our coffee (while sitting in the hot tub of course) then stroll through town and shop a bit.

FINALLY decide we should go see the boys and drive up there...Only to find Lance lying by the side of the road. Um. WHAT?

A rock? Oh. Where? Submerged in the snow. Oh. Lance took a direct hit to his shoulder blade? Yeesh.

Fast forward a 20 minute agonizingly bumpy drive down snowy mountain roads, 15 minutes worth of frenzied packing up the entire cabin while Lance stays in the car and moans ( we threw everything in the cars as fast as possible - really, it was quite a site to behold. If only I could pack that way), and a tense hour and a half drive to the Chelan ER where the ER nurse says:

"No, you couldn't POSSIBLY have broken your scapula, do you know how many G's of force that takes!?"

Fast forward 45 minutes:

"So, the X-ray shows you broke your right scapula."

Yep.

"So what position exactly was your arm in when you hit the rock?"

"Well, it was raised up because I was holding the video camera". I tell ya, I bust out laughing. Not sure if Lance thought it was funny or not. The ER doc just raised his eyebrows.

Ah yes, I love humor in stressful situations. Does that mean I'm emotionally immature? Maybe. While pregnant with Lil Chick at 34ish weeks and my OB doc said she was admitting me for full time hospital bedrest I SMILED. Nope, didn't cry. Didn't freak out. Just smiled.

For your viewing pleasure, the sled crash:



SO. Needless to say it has been slightly chaotic over here. I dug my nursing cap out of storage, was a single Mama to Bubbalu and Lil Chick, tried to keep a handle on the house (unpacking, blech) and ran my Etsy shop. Not going to lie to you, it wasn't easy. I was quite overwhelmed!

After a couple of rocky weeks Lance is now back at work and healing nicely. We were so very thankful that surgery was not required...and that our Sis in law is the nurse for an EXCELLENT orthopedic Doc! Ya know, being a Dentist and severely injuring your right arm/shoulder/back is not a good thing. SO thankful he is healing well.

A week after his accident, we had a fun week of snow in our hometown, schools cancelled and everything! Snow that lasts is a rare treat and the kiddos had SO much fun playing outside. I discovered a love of shoveling snow as our regular snow shoveler was still lying on the couch healing. Seriously, making ginormous piles of snow that take weeks to melt? YES.

I went cross country skiing through town the first night of the snow with my bro and sis in law and took a hard fall, spraining my ankle pretty bad. Awesome.

I may have cried a few times over the next few days. Just keeping it real.

10 days later and I am now the one healing nicely....but am fighting a nasty lingering sinus infection.

Doggedly determined to NOT be down. To NOT be cynical. To NOT get angry. I think that's how Satan gets to me. Throw a TON of stressful stuff all at once and watch me crumble. Nope. Not gonna work.

I'm leaning on the Lord.

After all, HE is in charge.

Amanda - VintageDutchGirl

Momisphere Advice Needed...

OK, so I have something gross to talk about today. You've been warned.

Yes, it involves kids.

Yes, it involves the bathroom.

Actually, strike that, it DOESN'T involve the bathroom....catch my drift?

I have a child who (shall remain anonymous. 50% chance, guess who?) decided that the bathroom was WAY too far away and the bedroom carpet was an EXCELLENT place to deposit urine. You know, don't want to walk 6 feet and use a toilet, takes way too much time away from playing. Awesome.

I need cleaning advice. I googled it, of course, and looks like I need some sort of enzymatic cleaner. It comes in powder and liquid form. Used this before?

However, where Google fails me is that I want an option to select only results from Moms. I'll call it the Momisphere. Seriously, that would be SUPER useful, agree? Only advice from fellow Mamas, not About.com, ehow, Wikianything or shopping results for products that will clear my urine to help me pass a drug test. Really!? Dear Google, you can send my royalty check via paypal. Thankssomuch.

Mamas lemme have it, advice for cleaning DRIED (yep, didn't discover it in time) urine from carpet? I need all the help I can get!

Amanda - VintageDutchGirl

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Hot Tub Chaos....

Swimming lessons are done for the day and teacher says Bubbalu can go in the hot tub. A post-lesson treat for all the kiddos. They love it! Especially in our not-always-sunny Pacific NW summers.

Mommy walks over when she decides it’s time to go and tells Bubbalu, “Ok, it’s time to go, get out and get your flip flops on”. Six pairs of 4 yr old eyes look at me.

“NO! Teacher said I could stay in here!". Five pairs of 4 yr old raised eyebrows, one pair of Mommy raised eyebrows.

“Bubbalu, GET. OUT. NOW.” (No, not yelling….the scary quiet voice paired with the look that every Mom has which primary purpose is to scare your kids witless. I'll not tell you what my MIL calls this voice and look...Something along the lines of the big scary guy who rules the underworld of fire and brimstone. Yeah.)

“NO!”. Five 4 yr old children thinking, “hey, if HE gets to run the show, maybe I should try to!?”

At this point I’m trying to maintain my dignity (and balance) while chasing a 4 yr old around a small in ground hot tub while 5 other children look on with awe at Bubbalu’s response and fear at the Momma with THE FACE. Awesome.

Course, the pool deck was jam packed with parents and grandparents watching their precious young’uns learn the art of staying alive in the water. And now watching me run around the hot tub deck trying to grab my defiant son.

Yep, I eventually won. AND I did not fall in. Score +2 for me.

Bubbalu’s consequence of his (very public) defiance? No post-swimming lesson hot tub time the next day….which was the last day of swimming lessons. Painful.

Fast forward to three hours pre-swimming lesson the next day. I’m feeling super sad about Bubbalu not getting to sit in the hot tub with his swimming buddies. He LOVES people. He LOVES making new friends. He will be very sad not going in.

I hemmed and hawed, trying to come up with alternate ideas for a consequence for him instead of banning him from the hot tub on his last day of swimming lessons. I admit I almost changed my mind.

I’m glad I didn’t. What would that be telling him? Disobey and be defiant, especially in public…Mom will be angry and punish me….then I’ll get out of it the next day. Um…NO.

That last day in the pool he was telling anyone with a pair of ears that, “My Mommy said I can’t go in the hot tub today!”

Awesome. Make me look like a mean Mommy.

Then his teacher says to him, “Hmmm, sounds like you might have gotten in trouble.” THANK YOU. YES.

Bubbalu, “Yeah, I didn’t listen. I wouldn’t get out when Mommy told me to yesterday so I don’t getta go in the hot tub today. I'm gonna listen better next time”.

Almost fist pumped the air and cheered. What I said MUST have sunk in. (Pun completely intended)

Here’s to following through!

I am by no means trying to brag about how wonderful my children are, how compliant they are with respect to discipline or even my own response. Sometimes you just gotta finally say, 'Phew, that was good". Especially when so much feels like it's going wrong. Which I have much more to share later....and it involves paint. Yup.

Amanda

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Stain and Germ Smackdown...

I cannot believe how excited I was yesterday for the FedEx truck to arrive.

I was actually giddy.

As a stay at home Mama with two very messy (and one pottytraining) younguns, I'd say these are pretty giddy-worthy:



On your left is the Eureka Enviro Steamer Hard Surface Steam Mop, 303A. I purchased mine here.

On the right is the Bissell Little Green Portable Deep Cleaner. I purchased mine here.

SO, STINKIN excited! My beautiful wood floors take a daily beating. As in milk drips from leaky sippy cups, being peed on (sad but true), trudged on with muddy shoes, sneezed on, sat on by toddlers with leaky diarrhea diapers, food squashed onto (and dried!) and other random disgusting grossness.

I hate to mop. As in hands n knees with a bucket of soapy water and a rag mop. Up till now I haven't really found any other cleaning device that is as effective as the old fashioned way. But THIS steam mop!? Cue the hallelujah chorus. Drips, smudges, etc just melted away effortlessly!

Here is a before/after shot of my kitchen floor:

Yes, they really ARE gleaming!

The ultimate test, the corner where Lil Chicks' high chair lives:


Smooth as buttah! And all it took was WATER....and killed tons of nasty bugs, because that steam? 220 degrees. Twice as much as the Shark one.

Before deciding which steam mop to get I read reviews like a crazy lady, and especially the seven steam mop comparison review on Amazon.com. I was most concerned about reviewers saying it leaked all over the floor the first time using it. Not at all! Smiled like a techy dweeb the entire time I used my new fave cleaner.

Hey now, don't forget about my cutie lil green machine! I've taken it out of the box and kissed it, but haven't used it yet. I have a list of about 10 pillows, pieces of furniture, places in my car and carpet spots that I'll be using this baby on. Can't wait for the stain smackdown to begin!

Ah yes, I must truly be a Mama to be THIS excited about cleaning appliances....

Amanda

***Oh yes, I should probably say that I've received NO compensation, was provided NO tester products or given anything except for a smile ole fat smile for this post...it was all me baby.***

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I'm Raising a Human Being...

Seriously, thank you thank you all for your kind words of support and kindness regarding my 'Parenting a Spark Plug' post from Monday.

It's been a bit smoother around here. Usually when Bubbalu is having a rough go of it I need to drop everything and spend some serious quality one on one time with him. Unfortunately, that is when I least want to spend time with him.

But it's not about my wants and my needs and my preferences.

I'm a Mama.

After all:

"Remember you are not managing an inconvenience, you are raising a human being" … Kittie Frantz

I made up some free printables, I figure I need to read this quote as much as possible. Take and enjoy!

Pin It



Pin It


Pin It


Pin It


Pin It

Amanda

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The Poo Whisperer...

My Hubby called me a poo whisperer this morning.

Before I'd even finished my 4 cup pot of coffee.

I can't wait to add it to my resume. If I ever do go back to being employed outside our messy home I wonder if under special talents and skills POO WHISPERER will net me a job.

Granted, I'm an RN, so poo DOES come with the job. Especially in Labor and Delivery.

...From the BABIES! Sheesh, where did your mind go?

(Let's just close that side subject, shall we?)

We are freshly back from a family camping trip and my hair still smells like a campfire, despite three shampoo scrubdowns.

On this camping trip my Lil Chick was amazingly, well, productive in the poo department. My Hubby marveled at how quickly I could tell she needed a diaper change.

As in immediately. Or two seconds after if I was lagging a bit.

What can I say? I've got some serious poo detecting skilz.

We are taking a breather on the potty training for a while....mostly because while she can stay dry all stinkin day long, the poo is the problem.

And in my book if it's the poo that's the problem, we are gonna TAKE. A. BREAK.

Cause this Mama is sick n tired of scrubbing poo out of princess underwear. The potty I can deal with, it's no biggie. After all, it IS sterile, right? The poo? Disgustingness.

Also, we are going on another extended camping trip soon and Potty Training + Camping = Stressed out Mama.

I've done potty training while camping before. It didn't end well. We earned the #1 Trashiest Campsite award.

This camping trip is supposed to be fun and relaxing, full of laying in the sunshine, swimming (floating really) in the lake and consuming massive amounts of chocolate.

So while I AM the Poo Whisperer, we are taking an extended potty training break...

Amanda

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Four Costco Trips...

I believe I counted correctly when I say we went to Costco four times this past week.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

I know.

But when my Sister invites me for a Saturday afternoon Costco run without kiddos I jump at the chance. EVEN if it is on Saturday, which is breaking rule #1 in the "How to Shop at Costco" playbook.

And when my Sis-in law calls me up for a last minute "Hey you still in town? Let's go shopping!" spree I can't say no :)

And when my Mama asks me to pick up some stuff for her I'm going to say "Sure, why not?". (After all, she birthed me and one should be afforded SOME perks for that.)

And when I realize that, despite three prior trips, I have yet to remember toilet paper and to fill the car up with gas....I go back for the fourth time.

Our Costco climate has changed drastically over the past year. See, I live sorta close to the country that resides just north of the U.S. of A. When currency rates flip (US economy = fail) to be in favor of that northern country, the folks who live there come across the border in droves for a super smokin good Costco deal.

Not that I blame em.

I'd do the very same thing.

Anywho, so a routine Costco trip has turned into a free-for-all, grab what you can, avoid sample tables like the plague, dash to get into a checkout lane that is less than 6 customers long, park two parking lots away, 20 car lineup for gas, concession stand chaos and people people people everywhere.

I'm not much of a crowd person.

For me, the enjoyment of a Costco shopping trip has greatly diminished.

However, there is hope. I'm hearing rumors of a new Costco Warehouse that would be located NW of the current location and closer to the border. We'll see.

So, fourth trip in a week, busy busy busy and yep, I've got Bubbalu and Lil Chick with me.

The kiddos were behaving especially, uh, interesting and I was about at the end of my shushing, "stop it right this instant", glaring looks, "do I have to make you get down and walk?", sighs of frustration, "stop hitting your sister", rebuckling the seat belt, "stop bugging your brother", "no screaming!", "you are just fine, stop whining" and "stop asking for that we aren't buying it, no means NO" rope.

Can anyone relate?

Anywho, so I finally make it to the checkout line and wait until it's our turn, playing mediator with the kiddos ("He hit me!", "No I didn't!", "She's poking me!", "Nuh-uh!") the entire time. I rushed to load our stuff onto the conveyor belt thinking GET ME OUTTA HERE ASAP.

Can anyone relate?

An elderly lady and her husband were in line right behind us. She smiled at the kiddos and said, "Honey, You look like you are doing a really good job with those kids".

{ instant stress dissipation }

Seriously Mama's, let's be intentional about building one another up and be generous with encouragement, it makes SUCH a difference....especially on those rough days, right?

Or during weeks with four Costco runs :)

Amanda

Live in the Pacific NW? Love animals? A great family ticket pack for the Pet Expo going on July 8-10 is up for grabs! Ends Wednesday!

A Loooong Trip Home...

Hiya folks! In case you haven't figured it out yet, I was on VACATION!!!

Yep, kept it a secret.

I didn't want anyone breaking in and trying to steal my stash of spray paint or piles of old clothes waiting for refashion.

(Besides, if you came over you might have been attacked by the four raccoons that had taken up residence under my FRONT PORCH. Yeah, I live IN TOWN. NO, I was NOT ok with the situation. More on this subject later. )

Anywho, the amount of prep that it takes to pack up a family of four for a planned 11 day (actual: 14. Keep reading) vacation cross county with zero checked bags required a significant amount of time and organized strategy. Which is not exactly on my resume under the "positive qualities I possess" section. And seriously, when I say cross country I mean Pacific to the Atlantic. CROSS COUNTRY.

Four carry on suitcases
Two adult backpacks
One toddler backpack
One stroller
One Lil Chick
One Bubbalu

Huh, is that all? It seemed like WAY more when we were hauling it all through the airport.

We had quite the adventure getting home.

6 AM EST: Wake up, pack everything, say goodbye to Charleston and my Brother and Sis in law for the 5 hour drive to get to the airport.

4 PM EST: Getting ready to board.

7:45 PM EST: FINALLY boarding.

9:30 PM EST: an emergency medial related landing due to strange odors coming from the back of the plane making people sick (My very first thought was: "A strange odor? WOW that must be a really severe case of Montezuma's revenge.")

10:00 PM EST: Deplane...with all the above mentioned stuff

11:15 PM EST: a cancelled flight (insert two completely exhausted and overwhelmed children)

2:00 AM EST: FINALLY arrive at a hotel for an unplanned overnight stay. We are now further east (and farther from home) from our departure city (insert two sobbing children who BOTH just want Mommy to carry them...OK, I wasn't exactly holding it together like a mature adult at that point.)

2:01 AM EST: *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

1:30 PM EST: Check out of the hotel to hang out in the armpit airport of the country. Sorry, it just wasn't particularly awesome.

7:15 PM EST: Take off for puddle jump flight

9:45 PM EST: FINALLY on the next plane to head home! YAY! Only a four and a half hour flight to go....and The kids are SO excited to be strapped into their seats and be flying! Sweet! (sarcasm font)

12:00 PST: Seattle. Home sweet home. More crying all around (OK, Lance was the champion who held it ALL together. Roses* and poems? No thank you! A husband that can carry a 4 yr old on his shoulders, wear a heavy backpack, pull THREE roller suitcases, a toddler backpack AND my backpack so I can carry my barefoot, Dr. Seuss look-a-like screaming like a banshee 2 yr old child? YES MA'AM. LOVE him.)

(*Hydrangea bushes please :)

Oh yes, and a 2 + hour drive home. (THANK YOU DAD!)

3 AM PST: Finally home, crashed into bed.

Yes, that is a 48 hour trip home. Could be worse (um, Ethiopia anyone?) but let's just say that we arrived home last Thursday and I am STILL trying to catch up on sleep.)

The progeny post-vacay reprogramming has been rather, uh, CHALLENGING. Lil Chick's jet lag is now a 10 PM PST bedtime.

But you say, "Hey, that doesn't make sense!?" I know, right? She should be used to 3 hours EARLIER for bedtime...5 pm ish. But, put a 2 yr old down to sleep at 2 and then 3 am EST two nights in a row and BLAM! 1o PM jet lag :) Weird, I know.

I've got some stories to tell, pictures to share and a new airline policy that went into effect on the 2nd half of our return trip to annihilate all coming up. Sounds FUN, huh?!

Missed you all...

A

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UnBrilliant...

When you get the brilliant idea to offer straws to your kids to drink their tomato soup instead of using a spoon, just ignore it.



Trust me.



Maybe I need to drink another cup...er, pot of coffee because obviously my brain is not on.

OR, maybe the paint fumes have finally gotten to me. Yup, I have another painting project going on. Another room that will be transformed so it feels more like ME. That better serves our family and our (OK....my) great organizational needs.

Translation: I'm slightly messy. I have issues with organization. I LOVE the look and concepts, and drool over pictures of organized, compartmentalized, sorted and labeled storage areas. I just can't get it there. There's a major mental roadblock. Really, I need to call my sister, offer her a mocha in exchange for whipping our room into shape.

I have the mess + she has the ability( Hot Venti Mocha) = DUH. Right?

Becca, seriously, I need ya girl...

A


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POOP is off my list...

For the greater good off all mankind, I have decided to put a limit to my use of the "p" word. (Insert massive cheering) You know, that word that is used a couple billion times during the potty training process.

The one that can make or break ya. Who really cares about a bunch of urine anyways? After working in hospitals for over 9 years it will barely make me lift an eyebrow. It's the OTHER STUFF that is the issue here.

I have to stop and remind myself that in normal, adult conversations poop (whoops, broke my rule) is not usually an appropriate or classy subject to discuss. HOWEVER, in the Mommy conversation world (which really is limited to a maximum of three exchanged sentences before you have to run off to rescue, relieve, save, comfort, cajole, intercede or discipline your child.) it is near the top of the:

Most Frequently Discussed Topics of Conversation (Mommy of kids under 5)

A few others that make the list:

1. Sleep - Lack of napping, night sleeping, swaddling, lack of or (rarely) excessive, nightmares, jammies, bedding, snoring, crying, bedtimes, best nap times, one or two naps, length of naps, getting your child to sleep, too early wake times, perfect nappers, nap avoidance, sleepwalking, sleep talking, sleep books, sleep studies etc. Sleep is also a make or break ya subject.

2. Eating - Everything from breastfeeding vs bottle feeding, issues with breastfeeding, colic, allergies, lactose intolerance, feeling guilty of no veggies in toddler diet, whole wheat vs. white, bottles/sippy cups/regular cups transitions, late night snacking, making/buying baby food, milk, toddler picky eating, silverware amounts of meals, day snacking, organic food, desserts, soda, etc.

3. Discipline/Behavior - bragging of perfection, commiserating about defiance, ideas or tactics to try, ages and stages, tantrums, strong willed children, passive behavior, aggressive behavior, sweetness, sullenness, shyness, caring, sharing, politeness, anger, parenting skills (including judging other parents' tactics - a big no-no in my book), etc.

Then of course, my current top topic:

4. Elimination - brand of diapers, E C ing (potty training from birth), cloth vs. disposable diapers, diaper wipes, soaps, creams, diaper rash, diaper rash and some more diaper rash, unscientifically proven but believed by Mamas worldwide: TEETHING DIAPERS, potty training, lack of or early potty training, potty seats, potty chairs, accidents, purposeful elimination in relation to #3 listed above, lack of aim (boys boys boys...*shaking head*), night time elimination, tactics for potty training, swim diapers (folks, please use them if you are not certain of your child's ability, no one likes floaters in the pool), use of regular diapers in the pool (largest and messiest things you've ever seen - yes they will explode), smells, shapes, consistency, frequency, colors...you get the idea.

But really, I'm purposefully trying to NOT DISCUSS THE POOP (Last time, really, just had to fit it in one last time). If I slip up and start off our conversation by emotionally vomiting poop (whoops, LAST time, promise.) stories all over you, please kindly and gently remind me my new Poop (oy, this may be harder than I thought) free discussion resolve.

What is your current fave (but possibly overdone) topic of choice? Any subject you might need to talk about a wee bit less like I do?

A

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Advanced Mama Scrubbing Math....

Lance and I spent a good 2 hours scrubbing Lola on Monday afternoon. (Lola is my sassy tahoe. Yep, I name all my vehicles. Why? Because it’s fun. And it’s fun to wonder out loud in the Costco parking lot, “Where’s Lola? We totally lost her!” Then the kiddos yell, “THERE’S LOLA!” I don’t know why it’s fun, it just IS.)

No, not scrubbing the outside, the INSIDE. Dis.GUST.ing.

We had an unfortunate non-stop vomiting bout on a car ride home from a Chris Tomlin concert a few weeks ago. Our normally two hour, ETA midnight trip was turned into a 2:00 AM arrival with a very sad and tired toddler.

Not to mention two grossed out and equally tired adults. But that’s OK, we still had phrases from the insanely awesome concert running through our minds: If God is for us, who can be against us? It kept me looking at the big picture, not dissolving into a hissy fit freak out at the present catastrophe.

Which it was. I had run out of my packed AND back-up car stash of baby wipes cleaning her up by the second episode and she was down to her last set of clothes. Six episodes later (Didn’t know someone so small could produce that much, uh, STUFF) and Lola was thrashed. Used up wipes, plastic bags full of gooey clothes, drive thru trash (hey now, don’t judge. Sometimes you just NEED a therapeutic ice cream and oreo blended treat…at 1 AM) and poor Lola looked as if she’d just barely survived a two week non-stop road trip across America. Poor girl.

I successfully took both kiddos’ car seats completely apart (a huge accomplishment ), dumped out the Costco sized bag amount of goldfish crackers that were stashed under, in and around the seats and hauled the pads and covers to the tub for a good old fashioned super detailed dutch scrub-down.

(Scrub brush x shampoo) + 3 hot water buckle de-juicifying pour thru’s/ 17 time rinse outs = a satisfactorily cleaned carseat.

That is some advanced Mama math right there. And everyone thinks my brother has all the math brains in the family!

Lola is back into tip-top shape.

Well, was.

I took my flu-afflicted Bubbalu to the pediatrician yesterday to be evaluated. Of course, we had lots of juice boxes and saltines crackers along to keep his tummy calm.

You know, saltines: AKA the most crumbly cracker on the face of this planet. And juice boxes : AKA entertainment, you blow into the straw and juice shoots out all over you, so awesome!

At least she looked good while it lasted.

And those thousands of juice drenched goldfish crackers? Smashed onto the garage floor….now covered by a kajillion juice drenched goldfish cracker hungry ants.

Ah well, at least I tried. Can you relate?

Off to put carseats back together, re-clean Lola and sweep out and spray the garage floor….

A

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New Mothers: Stuff you REALLY need on your Registry

It always makes me laugh to see the ‘suggested’ necessary items and products that baby stores tell new mothers that they need to be an awesome, properly correct and latest-article-in-a-mother/parent-magazine-following Mama to their new bundle of joy.

Ya know, let me give you some advice. Some real Mom, in the trenches, advice.

Register for stuff you REALLY need to survive the icky parts (potty training, the flu, motion sickness, stomach bug, teething diapers, acid poo blowouts just to name a few) of having a child:

1. A hand held shower head thingymajig. Something like this:




Seriously, save the money you were going to spend on: (…fill-in-the-blank…) that stores want you to believe you need…and get a hand held shower device. Believe me. Trust me. You will unfortunately get far more use out of it rinsing the poo, pee and puke out of clothes than you can even imagine. Seriously, trust me.

2a. Lots of buckets. For use in conjunction with #1. Also used for holding large quantities of bleach water for washing vomit off the floor. (This is a rough walked off estimate, but the puking episode that occurred in our house last night created a 10 x 11 foot rectangle of splattery yuckyness. This doesn’t include the walls and baseboards.) You COULD purchase a bunch of brand new cute buckets, but I prefer to use Dutchware: Gallon Ice Cream containers. They are AWESOME.

OR.

2b. You could use bright blue plastic surgical rinse basins like I use.

Kinda weird? Yup, but that’s what happens when your Mom is an O.R. Nurse. Unusable medical disposable products are the way to go. I keep two at all times in my stall shower for emergency soiled clothes soaking purposes. Pour in some of bleach, fill with hot water from your handy dandy hand held shower head and soak those clothes.

3. Bleach. Lots of bleach. It’s cheap and effective.

I’d rather smell some bleach in my house than the other stuff I’m talking about. Of course, open the windows so you don’t get lightheaded and fall smack in the middle of the splattery yuckyness.

4. Stain pre-treaters, preferably in a spray bottle:

That way you can keep your hands FAR away from the goo on the clothes. I buy it in bulk. Clothes with any sort of food (or other substance) on it gets a good dousing. IT WORKS FOR ME. Which is why Lil Chick can own and wear an off-white jacket that has survived an entire winter stain free. You can send notes of congratulation on my off-white stain free jacket success to my email.

5. A box of disposable gloves. For when you can't avoid touching the yuckyness. Trust me. WELL WORTH paying for these to deal with all of the above:

(Is it just me or does this picture look like a game of guess the wall shadow animal?)

You don’t want those yellow non-disposable gloves that you have to wash out and reuse. You WILL remember what those gloves touched and it WILL make you gag. Besides, I always got water up the loose sleeves and then had pooled icky water on my fingertips. Yech. I buy disposable gloves tight enough so water can’t get in.

6. Old t-shirts. Excellent floor/wall/child scrubbers. You can use em and toss em.

7. Air Neutralizer Spray/Febreeze/Air Freshener. Unless you think the smell of acid poo is a lovely odor to be inhaling all day long.


8. Coffee. Directions: Administer liberally and frequently:



This is just a short, off the top of my head, list. Have something to add? Shout it out in the comments!

Let’s talk Awesome Mama skillz, shall we? In my kid clothing tote bins I still have nearly full sets of (almost!) white onesies in every size*. That’s what I call awesome. (Not that I’m proud of it or anything...Totally lying. I’m ridiculously giddy about it.) That’s my life now, feeling extremely proud of clean onesies and the ability to clean up poo and vomit efficiently and effectively.

Awesome...

A

*(Disclaimer: There HAVE been times that I’ve tossed clothing that is soiled beyond recognition. Cause sometimes you are just plain sick and tired of scrubbing poo. Just keeping it real folks.)*

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Super Mommy Eye can Hypnotize...

I've long used Picnik.com for editing photos, especially for my Etsy shop to best represent my creations.

I uploaded a pic today to try out a bunch of the fun effects.

I discovered what I'll look like when I'm 75....Hello undereye circles:



Meet Naraama, my Avatar:



(singing) Rudoloph the peach nosed Mommy, had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw her, you would even say it glows:



Now, I realize my current favorite teal and red color combo may be awesome for home decor and fabrics but this....this just is taking it a few steps too far:



Peekaboo! I SEE you!

This is what my kids see when I come to check on them in the middle of the night.

And this is the Super Mommy Eye. The Super Mommy Eye sees EVERYTHING that goes on, nothing escapes her sight. She knows who hit who, who ate spoonfuls of chocolate milk powder for breakfast hiding in the pantry, she knows who didn't wash their hands or brush their teeth, she even knows if you are even thinking about talking back. Don't mess with Super Mommy Eye:

This is me if my gray spray paint nozzle is pointed the wrong way:

And this is me trying to hypnotize you, "You WILL bring me chocolate, offer to babysit my children for free, offer cases of Diet Coke, clean my house and encourage me to sew during ALL my spare time."

Did it work? Hope so.

Off to sew and eat lava cakes. Wait a minute, did I just hynotize myself?

Awesomeness...

Amanda

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I am SO over Poop...

I am so over poop.

Poop of every brand, variety, scent, breed, classification, pattern, family, genus,
kind, order, set, type, complexion, color, connection, denomination, description, designation, fiber, gender, manner, mold, nature, number, persuasion, stripe, style, temperament, variety, way, cast, character, class, grade, make, quality and/or quantity, sort, species, distinctive label, gradation, grouping, rank or status.

That is all.

A

Don't Assume ANYTHING. It Makes An......

First of all, you need to understand some things about me.

1. I don't pay full price. On anything.

2. I don't like to spend money on kiddos clothing.

3. I'd MUCH rather make Lil Chick a dress instead of spending $$ on one.

So, now that you know those few tidbits, I can continue.

OK, so this Mama had a major "I'm overwhelmed and underappreciated" freak out moment Sunday night...which was promtply addressed and rectified with a Mama only shopping trip Monday afternoon and evening.

It was GLORIOUS! Not to just push a shopping cart without being kicked in the stomach by a 4 yr old but to not have to keep track of two littles. Muchly rejuvinating!

Anywho, so I'm a shoppin and I see this adorable dress at Old Navy that would look superduper cute on Lil Chick:




Of course, the first thing I thought was, "hey, I could make something JUST like this with my extra pink tulle and her tshirt I have at home" but I decided to just go ahead and splurge.

It was full price.

There were NO coupons.

I bought it anyways. I was SO excited!

And sure enough, it looked ADORABLE on her! She twirled and smiled saying, "I pretty I pretty!" (seriously, WHERE do these little girls learn this stuff? I sure didn't teach her to do that)

And it stayed cute the entire 15 hours we owned it.

This is what it looks like now:



Every single arrow points to a splotch of dried on nail polish in hues of dark blue, red and pink. I didn't even bother pointing out all the clear nail polish. It was EVERYWHERE....believe me, the entire bottle was used up.

Oh yes, they didn't just ruin a brand new dress, they also did this:


(sorry for the blurryness....that woman never sits still)

(Looks awash in guilt, huh? Completely unrepentant.)

What you can't see is that Lil Chick is wearing FOUNDATION. Oh yes, my two year old is wearing a full layer of base makeup. Apparently Bubbalu has watched me get ready a few too many times. He's taking notes and practicing on Lil Chick.

I was less than gentle as I scrubbed the polish off with remover....and then had to quickly do a full body shower scrubdown to get the polish remover off their delicate skin.

Whattya know, we only had lukewarm coldish water today! ;)

They are BOTH currently napping...it's a first of Febuary miracle!

What ran through my mind not three hours ago, "huh, I haven't blogged in awhile, what the world am I going to write about???"

Ask and you shall receive...

A


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The Cough Drop Diet...Guaranteed RESULTS!

This shockingly effective diet is guaranteed to curb those pesky unhealthy cravings and results in a dramatic short term weight loss.

Step 1:

Go to your local grocery store and lick as many grocery store cart handles that you can find. BONUS if you find someone coughing or sneezing, lick them too.

Step 2:

Restrict your intake of water to less than one glass per day, get no more than 4 hours of sleep a night and do not take any vitamins or supplements. This will produce a perfect environment for a virus to grow and multiple. Awesome.

Step 3:

Virus will have made enough little invaders that by two days post shopping cart handle licking you will have come down with a hacking cough, the inability to swallow without cringing and your sinuses (Sinusi?) so congested you want to slap yourself for licking those shopping cart handles in the first step.

Step 4:

In order to deal with aforementioned hacking cough and swallowing difficulty, suck on copious amounts of blue menthol cough drops until your tongue is permanently stained smurf blue.

Step 5:

Congratulations! You have reached peak effectiveness for the Cough Drop Diet Program! Now, while sucking on a blue menthol cough drop, try to imagine eating your favorite, most unhealthy foods.

Blue cough drop + Queso and tortilla chips = Yucky!

Blue cough drop + chocolate lava cake = Gag!

Blue cough drop + mashed potatoes and gravy = Blech!

Blue cough drop + ice cream = Barf!

Isn't that AMAZING? See how it works? As long as you are sucking on blue menthol cough drops you WILL lose those cravings for all your favorite foods resulting in dramatic short term weight loss.

Enjoy those blue menthol cough drops!

A

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On Shopping With Young Children...

Is there anything more awesome than shopping with young children?

We are FINALLY getting our family photos done and wanted to get some clothes for the shoot. While I don't want all of us in matching navy polos and pleated khaki's I would prefer that Bubbalu wear something other than a peanut butter smeared t-shirt and ripped jeans.

Oh yes, shopping with young children.

My hint? Bring CANDY and TOYS.

New toys in shiny plastic wrap that they are only allowed to hold and drool over until they have behaved sufficiently to earn the right to lay their grubby paws on an unpackaged toy.

Cereal bar? Nope, not good enough. Trail mix? Nada. Cut up pieces of fruit and a shot of wheat grass? Nice try.

You need CANDY.

Candy that ALSO has shiny plastic wrap on it that they are only allowed to hold and drool over until they have behaved sufficiently to earn the right to shove it into their mouth and swallow without chewing.

You just need the earplugs to silence the "Can I open it now? CanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanI? Moooooooooom, can I open it NOW?" that is sure to ensue.

I would also suggest not bringing the noise cancelling earplugs because when your son sets off the store wide fire alarm you'll want to hear it and intervene appropriately before they ban you from shopping at their store permanently.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Not that this has ever happened to me before.

Or yesterday at 2:44 pm at Old Navy. But whatever.

My biggest mistake was not bringing a restraining device. I should have just brought my single stroller along but completely forgot. ( I decided to forgo the strait jacket because I figured it wasn't politically correct. Plus they don't make them in his size. Ain't that a shame? )

Strapping him into the 47 point harness in the single Bob stroller would have been beneficial being that he tipped over a rack of clothes, ran down a sales associate in Macy's, tried to climb the huge employee-only restocking ladder, peeked at other customers under the dressing room dividers and got lost, well, about 47 times.

Also, that little poo sweet boy WILL NOT ANSWER ME when I call for him. At one point all I could see was tufts of hair sticking up in the middle of a clearance rack in the next clothing section.

Good times were had by all (Insert massive eye roll). OY.

Any other hints and tips for shopping with young children? I need all the advice I can get...

A

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Glow-In-The-Dark Galaxy...

I went and got my thrift on this morning. As always, I came home with more things I didn't know I needed.

I was jazzed to find these glow-in-the-dark stars and planets for 99 cents:



Be honest, how many of you had these on your bedroom ceiling as a kid?

Confession: I didn't have them but secretly thought they were cool. My brother had them and sometimes I'd sneak in there when he wasn't home to look at his glowing little ceiling galaxy.

(Jason - I also MAY have played with your legos and transformers. )

I just stuck a bunch on them up on Bubbalu's bedroom ceiling and he is LOVING them. Maybe it will help him stay in bed and take naps again? (Trying to be optimistic here...just go along and pretend with me that children that don't take naps are wonderful creatures, mkay?)

I also came home with a delicious bag full of vintagey lace and trimmings.



I may have to incorporate some of these into my plaid projects for the Plaid Flannel Party starting next week. Plaid + Lace? Yes please.

OK, off to try to convince the 3 yr old that quiet room time literally means QUIET and IN YOUR ROOM...

A

Don't forget about the party starting next week!

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NIKE Travel Rule and Airportin It...

Wonder where I was? Yeah, I know I shoulda set up some posts but I decided to instead pack our bags, do laundry and not leave our house in shambles.

Yup, we are freshly back from a family vacation.

And I cannot, CANNOT leave my house for a vacation with dirty dishes in the sink, junk on the counters and dirty laundry. Just can't do it. It's my opposite NIKE Travel rule.

Just Can't Do It!

I know how yucky I'll feel coming home from vacation with tons of luggage spewing forth their dirty contents all over my already dirty house.

Then the producers of Hoarders start leaving me messages.

Not good.

So, in an effort to avoid being on a reality television show highlighting my extremely messy ways, I decided to clean, do laundry, wash dishes and pack instead of blog.

Forgive me?

OK, let's do some quick vacay recap posts.

First day: We woke up our lil firecrackers before the crack of dawn, force fed them some breakfast and got to our local airport by seven AM.

We hauled everything in and got in line to check in. And by "we" I DO mean Lance. He's such a great hubby:



Yes, that would be TWO Britax car seats (Oh my GOODNESS they are heavy) one medium size suitcase and a stuffed to the brim backpack with Bubbalu's pillow strapped to it. And he didn't even break a sweat.

I chose to help by filling out eleventy hundred of those little name tag thingys that make me slap myself silly for not taking address labels along. Or for having permanent tags. I purchased a new set of luggage a week before this trip so I didn't have a chance to do that at home. Hmm, future craft project idea brewing...

COULD NOT BELIEVE how zany this child was at SEVEN in the morning:



I was slightly concerned how this whole trip was going to work out.

Bubbalu wore his adorable froggy backback stuffed to the, well, what USED to be gils when he was a baby tadpole backpack,with match box cars, stickers, crayons and other random kid diversionary items.

Being that this was the kiddos first time flying they were super excited to watch airplanes take off and land:



However instead of boarding our flight....they canceled it. Excellent.

We frantically called my Dad to last minute drive us the 2.5 hours to SeaTac and recollected our substantial luggage which we threw into Lola the second Dad rolled up and tore outta there trying to make it on our connecting flight.

Which we missed boarding by one minute.

Yep, ONE MINUTE.

They will not allow check-in within 30 minutes of the flight's scheduled departure. We arrived 29 minutes til flight departure.

The next flight was only SEVEN hours later....so we booked that one then settled in to spend the day in SeaTac.

SO thankful for the childrens play area they have at SeaTac! Bubbalu ran around and played for a good three and a half hours making tons of friends:



I also walked Lil Chick to sleep in the stroller touring the entire airport...three times. Good think I burned some good calories speed walking because I had a delish seafood fettuccine alfredo lunch at Anthony's that isn't exactly diet food.

Funny thing is, you ask Bubbalu the best memories of the trip and he includes playing on the airplane with the kids at the airport in the top three.

Enough for today. That's right, we haven't even left our state and I've already finished one recap. This could take longer than I originally thought...

A

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