#1 Grocery Shopping Rule...BROKEN...

I made the ULTIMATE grocery shopping mistake Saturday night.

Anyone?

Can you guess it?

Yes, I went grocery shopping HUNGRY. And not just hungry but ravenous. Growling stomach and all.

Let me tell you something. Other than Sunday mornings during the congregational prayer, my stomach NEVER growls. Not so Saturday evening. Maybe it was prepping for Sunday morning?

So, I did my shopping and didn't really delve into my psyche enough to realize what I was doing. Because HELLO, I was out at the grocery store kid free! My mind goes crazy fun bonkers when I'm set loose like that. Dangerous I tell ya, Dangerous!

My Sister Becca was at my place when I came home. Bag by bag was unloaded and she. couldn't. stop. laughing.

Why? This is why. I brought home:

4 cartons of ice cream

1 bag of lime tortilla chips

3 jars of queso (just in case we got snowed in)

1 bag of Reeses peanut butter cup bites (in pastel wrappers. Because anything in a pastel wrapper can be marketed as EASTER candy. So dumb)

3 Flavored coffee creamer (Coconut cream my NEW FAVE!)

1 loaf of WHITE bread!? We are a hard core wheat bread only household. SERIOUSLY where was my brain?

Oh yes and 2 cans of extra large (but light!) whipped cream.

Busted. No WONDER she laughed at me.

My only saving grace is that I DID purchase 2 lemons, a can of diced green chiles and some fresh chives. You know, the nutritional equivalent of sucking on some pine cones.

Good thing I have superhuman incredible self discipline to avoid those foods or I'd be in MAJOR trouble...

Amanda

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The Cough Drop Diet...Guaranteed RESULTS!

This shockingly effective diet is guaranteed to curb those pesky unhealthy cravings and results in a dramatic short term weight loss.

Step 1:

Go to your local grocery store and lick as many grocery store cart handles that you can find. BONUS if you find someone coughing or sneezing, lick them too.

Step 2:

Restrict your intake of water to less than one glass per day, get no more than 4 hours of sleep a night and do not take any vitamins or supplements. This will produce a perfect environment for a virus to grow and multiple. Awesome.

Step 3:

Virus will have made enough little invaders that by two days post shopping cart handle licking you will have come down with a hacking cough, the inability to swallow without cringing and your sinuses (Sinusi?) so congested you want to slap yourself for licking those shopping cart handles in the first step.

Step 4:

In order to deal with aforementioned hacking cough and swallowing difficulty, suck on copious amounts of blue menthol cough drops until your tongue is permanently stained smurf blue.

Step 5:

Congratulations! You have reached peak effectiveness for the Cough Drop Diet Program! Now, while sucking on a blue menthol cough drop, try to imagine eating your favorite, most unhealthy foods.

Blue cough drop + Queso and tortilla chips = Yucky!

Blue cough drop + chocolate lava cake = Gag!

Blue cough drop + mashed potatoes and gravy = Blech!

Blue cough drop + ice cream = Barf!

Isn't that AMAZING? See how it works? As long as you are sucking on blue menthol cough drops you WILL lose those cravings for all your favorite foods resulting in dramatic short term weight loss.

Enjoy those blue menthol cough drops!

A

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Me Loves the Toddler Food...

It doesn't matter how old I am...I will always love toddler food.

Macaroni and cheese?

YES PLEASE.

Tall glass of ice-cold chocolate milk?

YES PLEASE.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

YES PLEASE.

Chocolate pudding snack pac?

Hand it over!!

How sad is it when you get a little too excited that the littles didn't finish all their lunch and you need to help finish it?

That'd be me.

May explain the residual post baby...uh...ISSUES that I have. And yes, as I have explained before, I am claiming the "I just had a baby" excuse for five years. FIVE.

Sounds reasonable to me...

A

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Naps and Chocolate...

I've started and deleted about six posts. I'm just not feeling the mojo today. I AM however, feeling the need to consume chocolate and then maybe take a nap.

For those who know me in real life, I am NOT a napper.

My naps require:

• 45 minutes to turn brain auto pilot on and fall asleep
• waking up in a stupor 3 (or more) hours later
• staring at the ceiling for 3 (or more) hours past usual bedtime
• and having a horrible zombie-like morning the following day.

So basically, I don't DO naps.

But today I am actually considering it.

The chocolate? No consideration necessary. No 45 minute chocolate coma induction period. No 3 hour post-consumption stupor. No bedtime delay. No horrible zombie-like morning the following day.

The only opposition to the chocolate consumption is my scale. I can imagine the digital readout changing from numbers to "Did you really need to eat that?".

Being that I have the 10lb Ambrosia chocolate chip bag from Costco stashed in my pantry, it DOES make a good point...

A

Rethinking Coffee...

I'm sorta on a diet.

Not a certain number of calories, points or grapefruits per day sorta diet, just a general overall rethinking of what I eat.

First up: rethinking coffee.

No, I am NOT suggesting the total exclusion of my favorite morning beverage, just rethinking what I put INTO it. As I have always said, I don't love coffee. What I love is cream, sugar, chocolate, whipped cream, caramel, syrups, sprinkles, whathaveyou. So, we are rethinking this.

Yesterday I added up the approximate number of calories I ingest by guestimating my average slosh of creamer added to my 4 cups of coffee per day.

Sidenote: Let me quickly define the "4 cups of coffee per day" statement. I have a mini 4 cup coffeemaker, but have always wondered what is defined as a coffeemaker "cup" compared to an 8 oz fluid cup. Guess what? I measured it out today and I drink 16 oz of coffee per day. SO...2 measuring cups worth. Definitely not as much as I thought.

Anyways, back to the creamer.

So my average creamer-slosh-a-day helping added up. A LOT.

I figured it is between 500-1,000 calories per DAY of creamer. YIKES. And let's not even talk about the sugar.

I promptly went out and purchased non-fat half & half which has 1/4 of the calories per serving, zero fat, and 2 grams of protein to boot. Yes, it has corn syrup added to it but at a much lower amount than the creamer. In flavored creamer the first two ingredients are listed as: Water, Sugar. In the non-fat half & half it is: Non-fat milk, milk. MUCH better for me.

Now. Let's get real.

It doesn't taste as good.

Of course it doesn't. So, to my AM cup o joe I add half & half and a smidgen of creamer. It's all about moderation, folks.

So do you think this might explain a 5 lb weight loss over the last two weeks?

Methinks so.

So what foods/meals/daily consumption might YOU need to rethink?

A

Short Of Breath...

Seen at the gym last night:

If at any time during exercise you feel faint, short of breath or are experiencing heart palpitations stop exercising immediately and seek the help of a physician.

Hmmm, every time I exercise I am short of breath but I'm pretty sure my physician would say to get my tush back up on that treadmill.

Remember this hilarious music video by OK Go? I can't NOT watch it:

Especially the guy in the skinny red pants.

How fun would it be to start doing the treadmill dance the next time I'm at the gym?

I'm sure I would be slightly out of breath and definitely feeling faint.

A

Gym IPodiquette...

So having recently joined a local gym for therapy and to get more points on the "Are You Healthy?" quizzes in magazines I have some Gym IPodiquette I would like to share:

• If I keep my ear buds in and don't make eye contact with you, assume that I either A. didn't see you (which is actually highly improbable, being that I scan the room constantly to avoid staring at the slowly moving numbers on the treadmill) or B. did in fact see you but don't want to talk. I am here to sweat, not chat. Doesn't mean that I don't love you, I just need to lose some excess baby poundage.
  
  
• If I keep ONE earbud in and don't stop my playlist (which I keep on maximum volume so I don't hear anyone else talking or the annoying sports game on TV...or my conscience saying, "Amanda...stop running/lifting/crunching...you are hungry...eat something yummy.") then I am OK with a quick hellohowareyoui'mfinedidyouhaveababyyeahshe'sgreatnicetoseeyoubye!
  
  
• If I keep ONE earbud in and STOP my playlist that means I am STILL OK with the quick hellohowareyoui'mfinedidyouhaveababyyeahshe'sgreatnicetoseeyou...but I'll actually ask you how YOU are doing and listen to what you have to say. Cause I'm nice like that.
  
  
• If I take BOTH earbuds out and stop the playlist it means I either A. haven't seen you since moving back to our hometown and really do need to catch up with you B. am bored and sick of my workout anyways or C. am related to you and can't get away with ignoring you because you might disown me.
  
  

If I forget my IPod at home I'm sunk. I'm much too chatty. I may even ditch the gym and head over to the restaurant and obey my conscience. Because sometimes?

That girl knows what she's talking about.

A

When Strolling Down Memory Lane Beware Of The Potholes...

Hi!

I'm cute!

Please take care of me and LUV me forever and ever!

Mkay?

This is Bubbalu one year ago, give or take a few days.

We were still moving into our "new" apartment (which we have since moved out of). Wish someone would have told me I was going to move again in 8 months, I might not have unpacked.

Or painted.

One or four rooms.

But whatever. Not that I'm sick of moving one or two times in eight months...

OK, so last year at this time I was:

• taking care of my cute Bubbalu, who was still rather colicky and had breastfeeding issues


• unpacking the moving boxes


• training for my first 10k


• finally losing the baby weight (OK, we all know what "baby weight" means, right? It's not baby weight, it's chocolate milk, Cheetos and Oreo mint blizzard weight, K? )


• enjoying being a SAHMama

That's all I can really remember right now. All I know is that I was feeling overwhelmed and tired, but blessed.

Here is evidence of my blessedness:

I'm still smiling.

What were you all doing this time last year?

A

Favorite Find Friday : Measuring Tape

WHAT???



I know, it sounds weird, and I WILL explain. Stick with me.

I had a baby almost 15 months ago. Is it an excuse? No. Is is a reason? YES.

My body dramatically morphed in the last 2 years. ( No, I'm not a stick thin person, so lets just call me an average pear shaped woman. ) Pre-pregnancy I was running 10 miles 3 days a week, had great tone and was overall satisfied with my body. By the end of my pre-eclampsia ridden pregnancy, I was NOT thrilled with my body. It looked so different to me that it was almost alien. Who stole my body? Where did THIS one come from?

Colic didn't exactly assist with my postpartum weight loss. I made it a point to get out and walk/run, despite Bubbalu screaming the entire time. People gave me sideways concerned looks on the trail, and I would just smile. I couldn't talk to them because my baby silencing headphones were in. What they must have thought...oh well.

Anyways.

Despite some infant related challenges, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight at six months. STILL... Who stole my body? Where did THIS one come from? Those of you who have had a baby understand this. Where is my muscle tone? What is with this poochy lower stomach thing? Same weight, NOT the same size. Shifted doesn't even begin to explain it. Granted, I was still breastfeeding, and I know the body holds on to some extra poundage in interesting places because of it.

OK. So measuring tape. Thought I forgot, huh?

I have always built muscle up rather quickly and would be frustrated when the scale refused to budge after weeks of diet and exercise. I started taking my measurements about four years ago and haven't stopped. I keep a notepad (I'm not telling you where) that lists the date, current weight and current measurements.

The reason I love measuring tape? I lost 8 inches in the last month...and the scale stayed the same. Clothes fit better, and I am almost bikini ready.

How to use? Keep a running list of your measurements and check monthly or quarterly.

• Bust
• Under Bust
• Waist (smallest part)
• Belly Bulge (hehehe, that's for postpartum only )
• Hips/Behind (largest part)
• Under Behind
• Upper leg/Thigh (largest part)
• Above Knee
• Calf (largest part)
• Upper arm
• Forearm

No, I don't look the same as I did before pregnancy, but that's ok.

I paid a small price for a huge blessing.

A