Sorry to the UPS guy...

I'm hanging out at the parents house when I hear a knock at the door. I look out the front window and see the UPS truck idling at the curb. I don't see the delivery person walking back to the truck, so I get up to get the door, thinking I'll have to sign for delivery.

Open front door, UPS guy is halfway down the driveway, and a quick scan of the front porch reveals no familiar brown wrapped box.

I YELL from the porch, "DO YOU HAVE A PACKAGE?".

Can't.Belive.I.Just.Said.That.

He looked at me funny, and said it was just to my right. Oh, yeah, there it is. Slink back into the house in shame, mortification, and horror.

A

Favorite Find Friday : Car Care

How many of you have a dirty, dusty, grimy, gross car dash? We do.

OR DID.

Yesterday evening Mom and I were out running errands (aka going to Dairy Queen for PBP's). I had about 15 minutes to kill while waiting for Mom. So I sat and sang along with Sara Evans, watched people unload a moving truck...blah.

Then I remembered how dirty my windshield wipers were...as in useless. So, I opened my glove box and pulled out this little powerhouse:

Oh yes, I luv to clean my car. Travel size multi-surface wipes are my friends.

First I used a wipe to clean my windshield wipers (FRONT AND BACK! Saying it just like Ross). The wipe was pretty grimy, so I grabbed another one and attacked all dashboard surfaces. My car was dirrrrty.

Eww.

I also cleaned the rear view mirror and my side mirrors, because you can use them on glass & mirrors! See? Multi-surface. It's a beautiful thing.

I had a clean fresh car paired with new vanillaroma tree thingy.... I was proud of my accomplishment.

Mom got back in the car and I HAD to show her my hard work. Seriously, I turned on the overhead light and pointed out the grime on my used cleaning wipes. She was moved. I could tell.

AND...I could see out my windshield. It's nice to be safe driving at night while it's raining.

If only they made a wipe big enough for me to clean the OUTSIDE of my car.

But I'm not sure they would fit in my glove box.

A

On The Road Again....

Things I saw while driving today:

• A majestic eagle perched in a scraggly tree overlooking a glassy lake. I think it looked at me.
  
• Ok, I didn't SEE this, but I could SMELL the country...they were spreading again. Ahh, fertilizer.
  
• A big tractor that I thought wasn't going to stop in time for me...but it did.
• Many Canadian plates driving into the states to shop, because the US dollar is worth mud.
• A ranch-style house, run down and unkempt, with what had to be 14 cars in the front yard. Not sure if that is legal in our parts.
• A new car I've never seen before : A Nissan Rogue. Was curious where they got the name from. X-MEN? What would a Wolverine vehicle look like? Even worse, what about a Magneto car? That just wouldn't work at all. Talk about high insurance rates. Geico wouldn't be a lick of help.
  
• Yet another Starbucks invasion...which I wholeheartedly support. After all, my creamers are getting low.
• An empty car seat. Don't panic, all is good. MIL graciously offered some get out and go shopping time. Cranky attitude miraculously disappeared after "therapy".
  

A

Spring 2008 Colors and Trends

I was wandering through Pottery Barn the other day. Anyone see their latest catalog? See how bright the spring colors are? I can't believe how bright and bold they are. I was just getting used to the naturals. I am still drawn to more simple colors combo's (except for my kitchen red, of course) and natural blends.


My current favorite color combo is the Stem Green/Rosemary Green and Clinton Brown. But really, how overdone is that?! Doesn't EVERYONE have a chocolate brown wall right now? However, I don't care because I love it. I AM surprised that the bright blues are back! I have not yet stepped into the chocolate brown/light blue/teal color combo. Although this light blue duvet set has haunted me :



Ahhhh... I makes me want to jump in and sleep for a week. Good thing there is some food on the floor (perfectly staged, of course) so Jude wouldn't starve.

I must report that in our current house we are void of color. I love color and the lack of it in my house is making for a dull and boring aura. It makes me sad. But why paint when you know you are moving in 4 short months?

A

Continuing on the quest of firsts...

1. Complete Lack Of Fear: This is demonstrated by his willingness to throw himself headfirst down a barrel-tube slide, assuming Mama will be spry enough to launch herself and manage to catch him at the last second, sparing his precious brain from playground damage.


2. Awakening Of the Hunter: This is demonstrated by his eagerness to chase all sorts of birds and look at them in disgust at they fly away to safety. This first paired with the first first (does that make sense to anyone else? Or is it just me?) makes for some dangerous situations... meaning running into the street after shy birds
   
   
3. Strategy Gamer: Ok, so he doesn't use much strategy, but he IS playing peekaboo and hide-and-seek with vigor. The closet holds a special fascination for him: sliding doors, stacked shoes, and hangers oh my!
   
   
4. Super shopper: Mama actually lets me OUT of the stroller to wander about the store and get into things. I did, however, have a slight meltdown in Land of Nod the other day cause Mama wouldn't buy me the cute new bed set and puppet tent that I wanted. Sheesh, what a tightwad.
   
   
5. Dirt Tracks: Bubbalu has been walking outside everyday, which means he has dirty shoes. Sounds kinda boring, but it struck me that of all the shoes he has owned and worn, these are the first that have become muddy. This is the start of a very messy relationship. I can foresee tide with bleach in my future.
   
   
6. Moses supposes erroneously: (if you can identify where that line comes from, you are my friend for life: Shout it out in the comments) Jude can identify his toes! Hee hee, I am such a nerdy mom. Doesn't take much to thrill me.
   
   
7. Budding Artist: At Land of Nod (hmmm, we spend a lot of time there) Jude used his first crayon on the art table. Alas, I did not save the masterpiece.

So you see, the firstlings continue...at a pace that I can't quite keep up with.

A

Don't Want No Bling....

When you leave your child to roam around and you hear nothing...time to panic.

Just a word to the wise, you should hear SOMETHING. Rustling, sounds of exclamation over discoveries, things falling or being pulled off a shelf, coughing or gagging, whatever! Just make sure you start running if all is quiet with a 14 month old in the house (except if it is naptime, then leave them alone! ).

I was sitting here at the computer a couple of days ago, when I heard _______ . Yeah, nothing. I went in search of my Bubbalu and found him in the floor of my bedroom. He was chewing on something and playing in my jewelry case. I ran to him and finger swept his mouth revealing:

• 2 lapel pins without backs (revealing the pokey part that can punch through a thick coat)



• 1 ring



• 1 necklace charm

ALL OF THAT BLING...IN HIS MOUTH......AT THE SAME TIME.

Ok, so if he wants to chew on stuff, ok. But goodness gracious child, pace yourself!

That's not the scary part. ( Although my heart was beating about 50 - 60 extra beats per minute.)

The scary part is I don't remember what was in the jewelry box case that he had gotten into. It was mostly stuff I don't wear frequently.

So, we are checking for bling in the diapers....lots of fun here.

And if I do find anything in there?

All together now, can you say "craigslist"?

A

Favorite Find Friday : Egg Perfect Egg Timer

Favorite Find Friday is new blog feature for VintageDutchGirl. Enjoy.

I LUV me some eggs. I am always looking for ways to get more tasty protein without powders or specialty drinks. Eggs help me with that, and they are tasty. Ok, slightly high on the cholesterol and fat scale, but more on that later. Hard boiled eggs are convenient, portable and easily stored. I can lose track of time easily and I used to have ugly green rings on my hardboiled egg yolks....

Enter the Egg perfect egg timer...



The claim "cooked perfectly every time" is TRUE.

Instrutions : You just pop that dealy thing into the pan with however many eggs you want. cover with water and put over heat. The timer changes color so you know when to take them off heat for perfectly cooked eggs. The color changes from the red shown in the picture to a burgundy to show how cooked they are (or denaturizing of the enzymes, which is irreversible. Impressed that I remember my cell bio? I am! ). I wait for complete burgundy, take em off heat and put em into a cold water soak. I leave the egg timer in the pan for the cold water soak. It changes back to red when the eggs are cooled, so I know how long to soak them. Brilliant.

I use hard boiled eggs on my salads for protein. ( I have been known to throw interesting foods over shredded romaine. Cut up chicken nuggets anyone?)

Oh yeah, to decrease the cholesterol content, just pop the center out and eat the egg white only. According to wikipedia.com :

• The egg white consists primarily of water (87%) and protein (13%) and contains no cholesterol and little, if any, fat.

So there you go. Protein perfectly cooked without cholesterol.

That being said, I'm hungry for lunch. I'm gonna go whip me up a funky salad.

A

Throwing His Weight Around...

Mama? Did I eat too much for dinner yesterday?

No Bubbalu, you didn't, and you are perfect just the way you are.

A

Jeans of Perfection Svelteness

I have been on a Jeans Of Perfection quest for quite awhile. I tend to have a difficult time finding jeans, being that I am oddly shaped. No, I am not some freakazoid, I'm just pear shaped. Anybody have the "gap at the back" problem like I do?

Here is my simple list of jean requirements :

• Dark wash, but not black
• Slight fading, but not so much it looks like I sat on a chair covered in wet white paint
• No butt flap pockets..HELLO, don't accentuate that which you want minimized!
• Boot-cut, trouser-style cross breed
• Perfect length (for me that means an inch off the floor when I'm wearing heels
• Hidden/side front pockets...once again, don't accentuate that which you want minimized
• NO GAP AT THE BACK
• Slenderizing...uh...DUH
• able to put on without lying on a bed and sucking in
• no major butt decoration, such as logos swirly designs, etc.
• cheap
  

So, with that exhaustive list in mind, I set out with my MIL and sister Joanie. First we went to the Gap ( get it? Don't want a gap in back? Go to the Gap. Ok, dumb humor, whatever. )

I tried on every single style except skinny jeans, because THIS pear shape just doesn't go there. Trends have to be at least 3ish years old before I can commit. Because that means they change from trends to style. I think... even then I still have to ask my Beautificationist if I look ok.

Ok, back to the Gap. So, my dear MIL brings me these jeans to just try on. Came out of the dressing room to looks of appreciation for my svelte figure. Heeheehee...I am NOT svelte. But, the jeans helped me look more svelte than normal. Here they are, whatddya think?




Pretty cool, huh? Here's a shot of the back pocket, and the full back shot:


And OK, they have a SLIGHT gap at the back, but they fit really well, and I feel beautiful in them, so I bought them :)

Also, they didn't quite satisfy the last requirement, which required an A-OK from the hubby, but I got them and am reveling in my Jeans of Perfection Svelteness.

Now, if only I had new shoes to wear with them......and a cool shirt too.... and maybe a new purse.... and maybe an updated haircut....and what about jewelry?

Ok, time to snap out of it and get back to the real world of wiping nose drool off my kid and doing laundry.

A

Teeees

Jude and I go on a daily (tire out the baby before he naps) walk around our apartment complex. He knows we're going outside when I pull out his socks, shoes, hat and coat. He sits patiently waiting for his socks and shoes to go on, helps me with his coat, and tolerates his hat. He runs to the door while I get my keys ready to lock it, for he takes off running as soon as the door opens.

He runs right to this big tree outside our apartment.

He says "teeees" and pats it and feels the bark.

Sometimes he plays peekaboo with me.

See the white adirondack chair? More to come on that subject later.

Look Mama, an airplane!

(Mama's thinking about dirty jeans and muddy shoes right now.)

Ooh, MORE teeees!

Here I go! Catch me Mama!

Here's to a LOOONG nap.

A

Klutzyness

I looked up the word klutz at Dictionary.com because the little spell-check icon hasn't been working on blogger. Here is their definition:

1. a clumsy, awkward person.
2. a stupid or foolish person; blockhead

I am a HUGE klutz. Meaning the first definition. I don't think I am stupid or foolish, OR a blockhead, but a clumsy, awkward person? Uh huh.

I usually have a bunch of bruises of unknown origin. And just for the record, no, my husband doesn't hit me.

Lance looked at the multi-colored beauty by my knee..."where'd that one come from?". I don't know....the wall, the chair, the table, the coffee-table, the park bench that I slid off of yesterday morning on my run?

Wednesday morning I took Jude out in the stoller for a good run on the trail. I've been trying to keep my distance down because of my little issue, so only went a few miles.

I DO need to build up my leg strength so I ran to a bench to do some good leg step-ups (not sure what the official term is, but that's what I call em). I usually do 2 sets of 20 for each leg.

It was quite cold, and I was looking rather sporty chic in my cute workout pants/winter running top ensemble. See? New top! And ON SALE. ( They must be good, all they have left are extended sizes ).

Anyways, Jude was watching me from his stroller doing my step-ups when my foot slid off the edge of the bench and through the gap between the seat part and the back support part. I think I yelped, I'm not sure. I landed on my butt with my legs straddling the seat. I tried to get up at quickly as possible to save my 'I'm so cool in my outside workout gear' image. Unfortunately, a cyclist saw the whole thing and grinned as he sped past me. Ayyyyye.

Poor Jude, he just watched me, not really knowing what happened. Just you wait little one. Your Mama will probably embarrass you on an alarmingly frequent basis.

After all, I have a Mom who would publicly embarrass me just for kicks. She would see me walking with my friends in the mall and yell my name and do jumping jacks, while her sisters bust out laughing.

Gotta pass on the family traditions and values...

A

Dirt, Toes & Shiny Clean Buns

Jude has had some milestone firsts lately.

A few days ago he ate his first handful of dirt. Not just any dirt, but potting soil. Seems my child has refined taste. He wasn't too thrilled to have it in his mouth though. Showing real signs of intelligence that one.

Jude is also growing quite tall. He can now reach doorknobs by standing on his tiptoes, and even is starting to try and turn the knob. Not good. Good thing we have a deadbolt on the front door. At least until he can reach that one. Ok....um...good thing we have a chain on the front door. He shouldn't reach THAT for 10 more years.

Along the line of toes, he has discovered that he can see them at the edge of his high chair. He holds his feet up and wiggles his toes, just to look at em. He points at them with an astonished look on his face, "look Mom, see what I can do?"

He also had his first shower. I never thought about giving him a quick wash in the shower, but we have found it works rather nicely. Jude had an interesting diaper lately, and Lance was already taking a shower. So, we tag teamed: Lance held Jude, I did the soap n' scrub, a quick rinse and good to go. Shiny clean buns. Jude kept trying to eat the water spray. Once again, superior intelligence.

A

I Wonder as I Wander

Jude is in bed sleeping right now. Ok, not really sleeping, he is actually talking to himself and playing with his ocean wonders crib toy.

That toy is amazing. It soothes with lights, bubbles, swimming fish and lullabies for him to put on and fall back asleep to. It buys me time from 6:45 to 7:30 in the morning to snooze. More sleep? Oh yes, more sleep. What's not to like?

I was given it as a gift from a fellow Mama friend when Jude was a newborn and didn't see the brilliance of it until the last six months or so.

See? Smiley happy baby. Well, that's not MY baby, but still, he's happy right? That picture shows the one we have, but I know the current model has upgrades and such. A hand probably reaches out and soothes the child back to sleep or something useful like that.

Jude uses it as a soother in the middle of the night. Every once in a while I will hear the music start at 1 AM. I've peeked at him, and he lays right under it and watches it and falls back asleep.

I was thrifting with my Mom and managed to find the exact model for just $3.00. We took it home, Cloroxed the snot out of it and popped in new batteries. Oh yes, sleep at Grandma's house with comfort and familiarity!

Sleeping baby = sleeping Mama , nuf said.

A
p.s. ( now he's asleep )

Ouch Ouch Ouch...

I've been having some knee pain with running lately. I've been trying to get back into shape (aka going to be in a bikini in 4 weeks ) with upping my mileage and weight training.

Iliotibial Band Syndrome. I think that's what I have. And no, I didn't go to my doctor, I self-diagnosed. I just don't feel like attempting a doctor appointment with an almost 14 month old wigglemaniac. So thank-you about.com for your orthopedic information.

Surely rest, leg strengthening exercises and correction of my bow-leggedness will be a sure-fire cure.

Wait. I can't unbow-leg myself? Right. While I am not afflicted to the extreme of, say, a wrangler jean wearing Texan with a ten gallon hat, I AM bow-legged.

Who to blame for this? Well, I think dear old Dad.

According to Wikipedia, fellow bow-legged sufferers include:

• Jeff Foxworthy


• Christina Augilera


• George Harrison

At least I am among friends.

A

Chubby Little Fingers

I was sitting at the table this morning drinking my coffee and reading a magazine. Jude was sitting on the couch. I looked up and saw him with his books, "reading" them and pointing to things on the page just as I use his fingers to point to pictures in his books. He wasn't doing that yesterday! He is learning SO fast. Nevermind that the books are upside down :)



Precious chubby little fingers pointing at pictures may seem mundane to most, but it is beautiful to this Mama.



His shirt says 'BEING CUTE IS A FULL TIME JOB' . I must say I agree with the saying. It is hard to look good. He manages to pull it off rather easily though (and I am NOT biased).

A

Transformers, Robots in disguise...

Yep, Lance finally talked me into watching something HE wanted to see on Monday night. I can be kinda bossy when it comes to evening television...or music..or food...or entertainment...never mind.

Yes, we watched Transformers... and I LIKED it. I remember playing with Jason's transformers when we were little. I think he had Optimus Prime because it was red and blue. Yes, those are my advanced analytical skillz.

Yeah, he's cool.

But I want the bumblebee camaro. I would look good in it.

See? It's sweet.

I couldn't find a cool enough looking picture without the orange tape.

Still, I think I'll buy one with my spare change...

A

Swirly Thingies & Teal

Doesn't get much better than swirly thingies and teal. Can I say how many hours this ate up? I did enjoy playing around and am happy with the final outcome. Thanks go to Laura for the inspiration. She's got some new duds as well.

I've decided decorating my blog is kinda like shopping for new clothes. Trying on clothes to see what fits which parts best, what is flattering, what is not, etc.

So, like my outfit? Does it make my butt look big?

A

Oh the Joys of Motherhood...

A couple of days ago, I read this post at DiaperDiaries. Made me remember the episode of my thus-far most embarrassing moment as a parent.

When we were on Lance's Dental Pediatric rotation Karlyn was kind enough to offer to babysit for us. Jude was 9 months old and we needed some couple time. We went out for dinner and a movie and came home to find out Jude had, well, contaminated the tub during his bath! Agh!

How embarrasing! Karlyn was so nice about it all, and she cleaned up too! WOW. I was quite impressed but still embarrassed.

As if I actually have control over my son's...um...plumbing.

Anyways, after reading the above mentioned post, I went to give Jude a bath. Do I even have to say what happened?

All I can say is that the evening included some Clorox....

A