Maternity Shirt Renovation...

You know what? Maternity shirts can be VERY cute.

Also? Maternity shirts can be VERY flattering.

However? Maternity shirts worn when 8 months (gah!) postpartum may still be VERY cute...but are VERY unflattering.

So today I started cutting them up.

And cut some more.

And sewed a bit.

And embellished a bit.

And am very happy with the result.

Meet Mrs. Blah Yellow Maternity shirt:



I got sick of her making me look all poochy and pregnant...you know, since I'm NOT PREGNANT anymore...so I cut her arms off and pinned her sides smaller to match a shirt that currently fits me:



After sewing up the side seams I had all these extra pieces:



So I trimmed off the old side seam and was left with these randomly shaped pieces. I basted right down the middle, grabbed hold of one thread and cinchced it til it got all nice and bunchy:



Sorry, no bunchy pictures. I was too excited to finish my project to stop and take another picture. That, and I was talking to my sister on the phone while sewing, as well as yelling at Bubbalu to stop trying to make his sister topple over. I'm a multi-tasker but I do have my limits.

Anyways, I had three bunchy strips which I pinned to the front and sewed down. I'm very happy with the final result.

Meet Miss Sassy Yellow Bunchy Tank:



Not too shabby for an afternoon (less than an hour, really!) spent with my scissors, sewing machine, diet coke and a wildly insatiable need to craft something:



A

Mama's Here, Bubbalu, Mama's Here...

Motherhood never ceases to amaze me.

Since having children my sleep patterns have changed and quirks have developed. I sleep through my alarm and can snooze it once (okay, three) times while still asleep. However, when Bubbalu woke up crying at 4:20 this morning I was able to hear him through three walls and over my ceiling fan noise.

I just sat up in bed and said, "he's crying". Lance said, "mmmph". Which loosely translated means, "What ARE you talking about? Do you realize it's 4:20 in the morning and would you please stop talking to me?".

I rushed into his room, picked him up and snuggled him while he sobbed and sobbed. I repeated"Mama's here, Bubba, Mama's here" over and over while rocking him back and forth. NO idea what was going on. He never tells me. Bubbalu was soon ready to lay down and went back to sleep. Me? It took a short while longer...as in 47 minutes.

Which might explain my inability to fully wake up this morning. Coffee here we come.

Motherhood never ceases to amaze me. I love being able to be his safe place. His constant. His provider.

His Mommy.

A

#1 Trashiest Campsite Status...

I am freshly back from a nine day camping trip.

Yep, NINE days.

CAMPING. (Well, mostly motorhoming.)

With two littles. One potty training, one nursing.

Whew!

Things we discovered:

- It is shocking how quickly a toddler can trash a campsite.

- Bubbalu LOVES to pee outside, further establishing our "#1 trashiest campsite in the campground" status.

- Lil Chick is a movin' and a shakin'. She is scooting and just starting to crawl around. Here we go! Bubbalu learned to crawl in Spokane, Lil Chick on this camping trip. That's it, I'm not going ANYWHERE else! Lil Chick will stand up and recite the Heidelberg Catechism Q & A Lords Day 1 if I ever leave on another trip again....not that reciting the Catechism is bad...it's just TOO. STINKIN. FAST.

- Sunscreen in an spray can is AWESOMENESS.

- Bubbalu loves to say "AWESOMENESS!".

- An air conditioned motorhome is FAR superior to NON air-conditioned sweltering house that hit 95 INSIDE while we were gone.

-Potty training is set on the back burner while camping. This may be due to a specific ginormo poo in the underwear incident that I'd just as soon like to forget about. Underwear was tossed into double layer plastic zip-top baggies, squished with some laundry soap (kinda like those friendship bread baggies. "Day #3 - Squish the bag" - yep, EXACTLY like that) and then promptly thrown out of the motorhome...where it sat until it was time to pack up and go home. Once again, reestablishing our "#1 trashiest campsite in the campground" status.

-Many many MANY baby wipes are used while camping. Face, hands, buns, tables, high chair, legs, chairs, neck...you get the picture.

-Showering the children outside using the handy-dandy outside shower attachment on in-law's trailer is a GREAT way to prevent the trailer/motorhome gray water tank from filling too quickly. However, once again...#1 trashiest campsite in the campground.

-Giving Bubbalu a haircut outside using your home clipper set and a squirt gun filled with used pool water to wet their hair down doesn't help your "#1 trashiest campsite in the campground" status.

-Showering yourself (in the motorhome INSIDE shower) while STANDING IN A HUGE PLASTIC TOTE BIN and then carrying it outside to dump your shower out also saves your gray water tank, but again, doesn't help your status.

-Neither does pulling a utility trailer complete with two different chipped beyond repair paint jobs (that don't match), zero hubcaps and a horrible case of rust that you store at the entrance to your site covered with a hole-ridden, well past it's prime, bright green tarp.

I'm starting to wonder if the campground owners threw their hands in the air and cheered while we drove away.

However, that was AFTER my husband spilled a couple of gallons worth of raw sewage onto himself and the dump station before we exited the premises.

Yeah, they were DEFINITELY celebrating...

A

Questionable TP...

The effectiveness of this toilet paper to accomplish it's primary purpose is most definitely questionable:



Bubbalu has struck again.

A

Ruffly Buns...

I heart ruffles.

I heart ruffly buns even more:



Throw on a ruffly hat and you're in ruffle heaven:



Link up to an easy peasy Baby Ruffle Butt Onesie Tutorial and now you too can be in ruffle heaven right next to me...

A

The Case Of The Disappearing Produce...

I love the tomato vine smell on my fingers. You fiddle with the tomato plant a bit, pinching off suckers or draping the stems and leaves on the support wire and all day long you can catch a whiff of that yummy summer scent.

I've been looking forward to tasting that first bite of home-grown tomato goodness. I have three tomato plants currently doing their thing, trying to produce some fruit for me. They were purchased rather late in the game, costing a total of $2.50, so if I get a pound or two of fruit I'll be thrilled.

I've been watching a rather large and juicy looking clump of 6 tomatoes for a few weeks now. They're just starting to lighten and will probably be turning red soon.



However, when I checked them out this morning I couldn't find them. What the heck? Where'd they go?

The plants are up high on my back patio, surely an animal couldn't have gotten to them up there. Maybe some rascally neighbor stole them? Amanda, why would someone sneak onto your back patio in the middle of the night to steal 6 tiny unripe tomatoes? Really now.

I found no evidence of foul play, or animal presence.

What I DID find on the ground next to the back patio under the tomato plants:



A suspiciously gnawed on unripe green tomato that has the distinct teeth markings of a 31.6 pound offspring of mine.

When confronted, the culprit nonchalantly admitted fault.

Bubbalu, I hope they tasted crappy...

A

Surfin USA...

Everybody goin' surfin', Surfin' USA!



We teach em young over here.

A

Mowing The Lawn...

I have three lawns. They have grown in quite nicely, adding lovely ambiance and a splash of color to our home.

I have taken full responsibility for my lawns complete with watering, fertilizing and mowing.

Here I am mowing one of them:



See? Whoever said I don't participate in outdoor chores now has photographic evidence of my hard work.

My lawns can grow fast and quickly get out of control:



It's kinda like having a chia-lawn. It's quite fun giving my chia-lawn a mowing. More like a haircut.



Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-CHIA!

A

Precious Sunglasses...

Written Wednesday Evening...

I was all in a tizzy this morning because I lost my sunglasses.

Under the guise of picking up Bubbalu's swimsuits that I forgot at my In-Law's house I loaded the kids up in the car and drove across town to search for them.

No, I didn't find them at my In-Law's or my parent's house.

No they weren't in my car.

No, they weren't in Lance's car. (And yes, I DID call and bug him at work to search his car for them. As if you really want your dentist to stop mid-drilling to answer a phone call from his wife asking if he has seen her precious sunglasses.)

So I did what was natural and logical. I blamed Bubbalu.

Me, "Bubba, did you take Mama's sunglasses?"

Bubbalu, "Bubba, did you take Mama's sunglasses?"

*sigh*

Me, "Where did you put them?"

Bubbalu, "Where did you put them?"

**sigh**

Me, "Show Mama where you put her sunglasses."

Bubbalu, "Show Mama where you put her sunglasses."

***SIGH!***

Clearly I was getting through to him.

I searched all his normal stash locations: the toy box, under all the couches, his shopping cart full of cars and behind the computer.

No sunglasses.

I finally grabbed a pair of inferior sunglasses and pouted for the next one or three hours.

Until I found my sunglasses. In my closet.

Oh that's right! I took them off to change my shirt...which means I unnecessarily blamed Bubbalu. Whoops.

I did apologize and told him that Mommy was wrong.

It's important to fess up and apologize to our kids when we do wrong by them. We are their best teachers and they learn by watching and hearing us.

Unfortunately Bubbalu has now learned that lost sunglasses makes for a major Mama freak-out. I'm sure he'll store that bit of information in his "Things That Make Mama Freak" file to pull out and use on an especially boring day...

A

Welcome Home...

She was completely and all-encompassingly focused. You could try talking to her, but you wouldn't get far.

She stood amidst a swarm of strangers not seeing them or caring about them. It was busy and loud as families, spouses and friends were reunited. She couldn't hear them. She stood staring at the exit of the escalator waiting to see a familiar face. She was quiet. She was focused. She was waiting.

She's been waiting over a year for this moment. This moment that will forever be etched in her heart and mind.

She has a three week old precious baby girl. She has been a single parent for over a week as her husband has been gone on this journey. She is tired and emotional but eager.

Her brother whistles and motions that he can spot them coming up the escalator.

The video cameras start rolling...the cameras are turned on and ready to go.

Her heart is ready.

She first spots her husband's brilliantly smiling face. He has never smiled so brightly before...not even on their wedding day. It is a proud smile. A tender smile. A fatherly smile.

Next she spots a little dark head that he is carrying in his front pack. As he nears the top you can see two little dangling arms, two dangling legs.

She runs forward and clings to her husband and her new baby boy. They fumble with the many straps, struggle to lift him out and then finally, finally FINALLY she is at last holding him in her arms...and in her heart. She is sobbing and shaking as she holds him, the enormity of the moment overwhelming her.



She kisses her husband and turns to face her waiting family.

She walks over, shows him to us and says, "this is our son!"



He is introduced to his little sister. Their family has doubled in less than a month.



Welcome home Isaiah Melkiso. Welcome home and welcome into our hearts. You are muchly loved.



Love your Auntie,

A

We Just Stay Home And Lie Around...

Happily enjoying lying around and doing nothing today.

And by nothing I do mean cleaning the house, doing laundry, feeding and clothing two children and trying to stay cool.

I love being a stay-at-home pirate...


A

The Craft Cache Is Overflowing...

I have a ton of sewing/repurposing ideas in my craft cache. Of course, getting to them requires time, time and some more time. I don't have much spare time lying around lately. If you happen to have extra time lying around unused, feel free to donate it to this grateful recipient.

Here is just a quick sample of what is floating around the crafting blogisphere that is catching my eye and making the sewing bugs bite:

Anthropologie Top Tutorial over at My Mama Made it

Corsage Tee Tutorial over at Enchantresses Three

Ruffle Tube Top Tutorial over at Happy Together

Toddler Purple Ruffle Dress Tutorial also at Happy Together

GAH! They are all so cute and fun! Methinks Mama needs a sewing staycation as these tutorials have whet her sewing appetite.

That, and a serger...

A

Our Sleep Schedule May Be A Thing Of The Past...

Oh.

Hi there.

Yep, I'm still here...sorta.

We've been rather busy running around crazy-like.

Tell me, how does ones house manage to get trashed from top to bottom when you aren't even there? We packed up each and every morning and hung out at my Mom and Dad's house every day while my brother and sis-in-law were visiting.

And my house got trashed.

While no one was home.

It's a mystery.

I've been busy cleaning up my mysteriously trashed house and trying to regain a semblance of order.

I am currently trying to gently remind my beloved offspring that they used to have a somewhat normal sleep schedule. For the 15 pound offspring it is working quite well. Very compliant and adjustable that one.

As for the OTHER ONE.

Let's just say it isn't going so great. Let's also just say that the gentle reminder has morphed into a different kind of reminder. One that might involve tying the door shut with a scarf as the 31.6 pound offspring may have figured out how to launch over the gate blocking his doorway.

As I said, it's not going so great.

Many tears and gnashing of the teeth.

I know I know, I've got to get myself under control...

A

Off To Costco...

I'm busy getting the kiddos and myself ready to head back to Costco again, coupon book in hand. So busy, in fact, that I have time to sit and write a post. I am SUCH a procrastinator!

On the shopping list today:

• Pull-ups - $4.00 off
• Starbucks Frappaccinos - $3.50 off

Um...that's it folks. Two things on my list. Want to take any guesses how many things I'll have in my cart by the time I get to the checkout line?

I just needed a really good excuse to get out of the house and play today. My Mom was already planning on going so I invited myself and two littles along for, you know, the FUN.

My Brother and his lovely wife are in town this week and we are planning a glorious time full of Settlers, homemade donuts, clamming at the bay and laughs. Lots and lots of laughs.

Hence the need to go to Costco and stock up on vittles...

A

Nine Years Ago...

Nine years ago I married my sweetheart. Nine years ago he married his sweetheart.



Nine years later and we're still sweethearts...

A

Crinkle Crinkle...

Yesterday was once again overcast and chilly. A perfect day for soup and hot chocolate...except that it is JULY. Hello!? Summer? Wheredya go? I wasn't finished with you yet!

Because I've been getting bit by those pesky sewing bugs, I gave my husband the 'I must create something or I will freak' look and bolted upstairs to the bonus (craft) room.

I've been trolling the crafting sites recently and feeling completely inspired. However, time and prior commitments (aka children) put a damper on my project list. Every time I'm ready to turn my sewing machine on someone needs a diaper change, to be fed, or I don't know...has POOPED ON THE FLOOR...again.

Which reinforces my my thinking that I need a week or two long staycation. The first few days to clean and get back to normal...whatever that may be...then the rest of the time sewing and crafting to my hearts delight. Sounds like a grand plan to me. As long as no one poops on the floor. Cause no one likes poo on the floor.

However, I did get a few hours to play and craft yesterday. Here's what I managed to create:



Aren't they great!? Aren't they awesome? Don'tcha just LURVE what I made?

What?

Oh.

You can't tell what they are?

No, it's not just a jumbled pile of flannel and ribbon!

Here's a better look:



and:



They are Crinkle Square Taggies for itty bitty babies thanks to the crafty genius of Joy's Hope. Find the tutorial HERE and get craftin your own Taggies . These are quick, only use a teensy bit of fabric and ribbon and turn out great. Joy suggests using old wipes packages for the crinkle material. I used them as well as a super crinkly shopping bag I had. I put up to three layers in a few of them, and while it made the sewing a bit more challenging, the crinkle-age is worth it!

Lil Chick has been super grabby lately. She loves diaper wipes packages, but I have an issue with her sucking on a bag of wipes that are used to wipe up poo. Just doesn't sit right in my brain. The Crinkle Square Taggies? MUCH BETTER:



And yes, I may have gotten a wee bit carried away and made a few more than necessary.

Like seven.

But who's counting?

A

Sweet Bundle Of Pink...

One of our siblings finally managed to produce a sweet bundle of pink who joined us June 25 weighing in at a perfect 6lbs 15 oz. While this is definitely unusual for our families and we aren't quite sure what to do with a baby girl, we'll just have to suffer through it and figure it all out.

Wouldn't YOU want to be an Auntie to this darling baby girl?:



Could her lips BE any more kissable? (*Heart squeeze*)

Welcome to our family Gabriella! Congratulations Dusty and Becca!

I am predicting many hours of tea parties, dressing up, dolls and one maybe two matching outfits for Gabby and Lil Chick.

We love you already Gabby...

A

One Year Ago It Was Sunny...

One year ago Bubbalu discovered a quick and handy backyard thirst quencher at Grandma's house:



And I'm certain it was sanitary and appropriate for holding drinking water.

Really, it was. I helped Grandma scour the thing after watching Bubbalu go back for seconds, thirds and fourths. We decided that copious amounts of fungi and scum might not be grand for the digestive system of an 18 month old.

We hung out at Grandma's house that day because Bubbalu's fun older boy cousins were in town and a play day was deemed necessary.

That, and Mama was one tired and worn out preggo woman who had run out of ideas to entertain her precocious toddler.

The cousins thought Bubbalu was quite silly for drinking out of the water fountain:



But looking on the bright side, he certainly wasn't dehydrated on that scorching hot July day:



Where oh where did our July 2009 sun go? Come back, for I miss thee so. I pulled out my cozy socks and am making soup for dinner. Um...I'm not ready for fall yet. I must have at least three frazzle-inducing camping trips, two unseemly tan lines, and one tired out toddler to meet my summer quota.

It's not looking very good.

Only one camping trip in the works, sunless tanner is providing adequate unlined tannage and the boy is decidedly UNTIRED.

Yeesh.

A

Phanty Had An Accident...

Elephants are endangered in our house.

Remember my oh-so-crafty and colorful elephant scrappy silhouette project for Bubbalu's room? They turned out super cute and adorable while adding a bit of whimsy and spunk to his boring cave of a bedroom:



Elmer and Phanty were the perfect pair; a match made in scrapbook heaven, if you will. They enjoyed their mundane yet satisfying life squirting water from their trunks day in and day out.

Sunday afternoon I took a nap. I know, I KNOW, I don't nap. Yet this going on two week sinus infection is kicking my butt, so I actually decided to try and take care of myself and rest a bit. Not that it really worked, being that I'm starting antibiotics today, but whatever.

Anywho. Lance and his brother Shane were downstairs playing Carcassonne and having a grand and very focused time. Bubbalu was upstairs in his room supposedly napping. He is stuck in his room thanks to a gate across the doorway, enforcing the "I don't care if you actually sleep, but you MUST be in your room for at LEAST 2 hours of quiet play time" rule. Also known as the "how Mommy keeps sane" rule.

Bubbalu had his door open during his nap/quiet time, and the menfolk kept saying to each other that they couldn't figure out what Bubbalu was playing with that kept making such funny noises.

What would YOU do in this situation?

Me? I'd probably go and SEE FOR MYSELF what was going on. Ya know, check on the toddler who has a history of pooing on the floor and dancing in it , destroying a bathroom in under 5 minutes and kindly decorating the woodwork with ink pens? Yeah. That toddler.

I'm awakened two hours later by my husband yelling at me to provide First Aid to my injured child and check him over for more cuts or embedded glass.

What a LOVELY way to wake up from a deep slumber.

Bubbalu had managed to knock Phanty off the wall, smash the glass in the frame and then play with it for a good hour or so. This is all that is left of poor mangled Phanty:



Thankfully, Bubbalu sustained only a few small cuts and hopefully a lesson learned:



Mama on the other hand is still trying to calm her racing heart and convince the adrenaline that really now, the crisis is OVER and she would be glad to see it go now, if you please.

A

Proud To Be An American...

We are kinda patriotic over here.

On or about the second week in June I start listening to my Lee Greenwood CD in anticipation of the 4th of July. It reminds me that our freedom was fought for and that I AM proud to be an American.

Bubbalu is proud to be an American too:



Wishing you a happy and safe Independence day!

A

I May Be Thrifty But I'm Not Stingy With Cheese...

I made a ginormous triple thick lasagna for dinner tonight.

Go me! Go wonderful wife, mother and chef! You got your game together and pulled something off. You are awesome!

I was quite proud of myself for not only having the required ingredients but planning ahead of time for dinner. You know, to avoid the whole, "well honey, I didn't make anything for dinner so what sounds good? Burgers? Nachos? Spaghetti? Cereal?" thing. Just pop that 9x13 in the oven around 4 ish, and good to go.

After I was done I made myself a yummy lunch of mozzarella cheese quesadilla with the intent of dipping into the left over spaghetti sauce used on the ginormous triple thick lasagna.

Sat down with my diet coke over ice, mozzarella quesadilla and dipping sauce and a good book. I took a HUGE bite.

And spit it out.

The cheese was off. You know, as in turned. Moldy if you will.

Guess what cheese I had just used to create my ginormous triple thick lasagna? That's right, the very same mozzarella.

And I am not stingy with cheese.

It's still sitting on my counter. I don't have the heart to jam it down the disposal. It still looks pretty, even if it is corrupt and disgusting.

So when Lance gets home, once again it will be, "Well honey, I didn't make anything for dinner so what sounds good? Burgers? Nachos? Spaghetti? Cereal?"

A

Purple Polka Dots and Petal Ties...

Those persistent crafty bugs have been biting again. I think there might be an infestation.

This time it resulted in a purple polka dot and white eyelet edged itty bitty dress for Lil Chick.

Of course, my model was taking a morning nap, so you'll just have to imagine how cute she looks in it, mkay?





Love love LOVE the petal ties in the back. I might have to kiss them now and again cause they are super adorable. And most importantly, effectively eliminates the need for snaps, buttons or zippers. What could be better?

Next up, some matching bloomers or diaper cover with a ruffle butt. Then maybe a white crocheted hat with purple flower off to the side. Then maybe some matching itty bitty crocheted purple and white Mary Jane shoes.

See? I told you there was a craft bug infestation...

A

Lord of the Dance in the Poo...

We had our first major Potty Training "incident" this weekend.

Lord of the Dance in the Poo. Yes, that would be poo on the floor...danced in.

Actually, this happened twice.

I totally deserved it. Here I was, gloating over how fortunate we were to have a 2.5 year old boy who always poops in the toilet. No cajoling, bribing or trickery necessary, he was a natural potty chair user. And as I have defined before, he is NOT potty trained, he is in Stage 2 - Potty Intermediance.

Never gloat during potty training. NEVER. It's apt to rebound and smack ya.

Bubbalu has figured how to get off the toilet by himself. While many parents would consider it normal for children to get on and off the potty by themselves, I am (was) thrilled to beans that he couldn't voluntarily leave the potty premises. I would set him up with books and cars and even a sippy cup because I'm nice like that.

However, he figured it out. He slid off the potty and stood in the hallway peeking around the corner at me as I cooked dinner.

When I noticed him I went to help him back on the toilet and almost stepped in a huge pile of poo.

Eeeewwwww!

And yes, he had walked around in it probably kind of confused as to what it was doing there in the first place. I stood there wondering if I was hallucinating or if there really was a huge pile of poo on the floor mocking me.

Lance was home so we tag teamed. He took Bubbalu and hosed him off in the shower and I was left with the poo cleanup. It's one of those parenting moments where you stand there wringing your hands, not quite sure where to start, and briefly fantasize about running away for a few hours (days).

In the end, anti-bacterial wipes, mopping and re-mopping for good measure took care of the mess.

Good thing I figured out the best poo clean-up method, because when it happened again two days later I barely freaked out.

I told my parents the story and my dad says, "gives new meaning to the three second rule, doesn't it?"

I dropped some chocolate chips on the floor yesterday (hey now, don't judge my chocolate chip consumption) and I almost almost bent to pick them up and eat them.

Then I recalled the poo incidents and decided to let them be.

Hmmm, this potty training thing may be good for my diet...

A

A Glorious Luxury...

It's been a lovely morning.

I woke up late this morning, refreshed and rested. And by late I do mean 8:00 AM. What glorious luxury.

How my life has changed.

Rewind three years and slap self upside the head (which would require a degree in advanced contortionism, but whatever).

Repeat after me: "Girl! Sleep as much as possible! Build up your sleep bank NOW, while you actually have the time, availability and room to do so. Relish your shopping and errand running as you jauntily jump out of the car without undoing 18 million straps, buckles and clips and cinches. Celebrate the lightness of your purse as soon you will be required to carry 37 matchbox cars to stave of toddler tantrums and a half-roll of toilet paper to wipe drippy noses (no, I did NOT have a half roll of toilet paper stuck in my purse that accidentally was pulled out when purchasing a mocha or two at Costco...yesterday...at 1:15 pm). Eat a meal leisurely, without having to refill sippy cups with that gloriously thick and tasty but forbidden (due to excess thigh and waist...uh,padding) whole milk or say for the seventieth time in six minutes, "NO, you may NOT have chocolate chips for dinner". Ponder anew the miracle of not having enough dirty clothes to run a full load. That miracle will end, my dear."

But don't forget the conclusion!, "Girl, you cannot even BEGIN to understand how rich in joy your life will be. Your family will double in two years and you will be a crazy harried Mama. But guess what? Despite the stress and chaos, you will be happy and declare a random morning a GLORIOUS LUXURY".

A

Naps and Chocolate...

I've started and deleted about six posts. I'm just not feeling the mojo today. I AM however, feeling the need to consume chocolate and then maybe take a nap.

For those who know me in real life, I am NOT a napper.

My naps require:

• 45 minutes to turn brain auto pilot on and fall asleep
• waking up in a stupor 3 (or more) hours later
• staring at the ceiling for 3 (or more) hours past usual bedtime
• and having a horrible zombie-like morning the following day.

So basically, I don't DO naps.

But today I am actually considering it.

The chocolate? No consideration necessary. No 45 minute chocolate coma induction period. No 3 hour post-consumption stupor. No bedtime delay. No horrible zombie-like morning the following day.

The only opposition to the chocolate consumption is my scale. I can imagine the digital readout changing from numbers to "Did you really need to eat that?".

Being that I have the 10lb Ambrosia chocolate chip bag from Costco stashed in my pantry, it DOES make a good point...

A

Getting Some Time Off...

We are freshly back from a fabulously child-free weekend getaway. While the husband had to attend a seminar and talk shop with his other dental study club members, the wifey watched movies, drank coffee (sugar-free creamer!), read beach books and slept in.

I had every intention to do two hour gym workouts and an extensive distance run of the beach but couldn't seem to get up the gumption to leave my cozy quiet hotel room. Had it been a sunny weekend I would have planted myself on a beach chair and soaked up some rays like nobodies business, but the ever-present clouds dictated hotel room laziness. That and the lack of a perfectly svelticizing post-partum bathing suit may have contributed to the lazy decision.

Not that it was a problem.

I can do lazy.

My kids spent the weekend at Grandpa and Grandma's house, hanging with Aunties and Uncles and getting loved to bits. I'm pretty sure they didn't even know we were gone. As predicted, Bubbalu did NOT want to come home...proving once again that he thinks his Mama is exceedingly boring.

Seriously.

On a daily basis the kid asks to either:

A. Go to Costco? OK??

or

B. Go to Doctor? OK??

Really, how boring must I be if going to the doctor (where one gets multiple shots every visit) is more exciting than staying home? Embarrassing.

We ate delicious food (think catered beach front salmon feast), drank yummy wine (open bar) and lounged around like royalty.

I told the husband that he should seriously consider taking his wife away on a monthly weekend vacation/escape as she is feeling remarkably refreshed, reengergized and remotivated to be a stay at home Mama to two young children.

Even if aforementioned young children do think she is exceedingly boring...

A

Excerpts from the Bubbalu and Lil Chick Instruction Book:

*Lil Chick Sleep Hints*

She will probably need a light burp after her bottle, but it is OK to put her to bed kinda awake. It is OK if she cries. She has a harder time falling asleep if you purposely try to rock her to sleep after a bottle. Lately she also seems to be waking herself up just to play and "visit" with us (little stinker is so cute it’s hard to ignore her) so check on her if you must, but don’t pick her up and let her woo you into playing!

*Bubbalu potty training hints*

-our RULE OF UNDERWEAR, “You can wear underwear if you don’t get it wet or dirty”. Ask him the rule, he knows it and should tell you!
-don’t listen to him if he tells you NO when you ask him to go potty. Just tell him, “Bubba, it’s time to go potty NOW”.
-DO NOT LEAVE THE TP WITHIN REACH!
-he always takes off both his shorts and underwear when going potty
-If he says, “NO, (pause pause pause)okayyyyy" that means yes.
-If you don’t have his padded toilet seat with you, you have to hold him on the potty or he’ll fall in!
-Give him a book or three to read while sitting on the pot. Or else he’ll start exploring and find things to play with (bleach spray, TP handles, etc.

Yeesh, this might be an interesting weekend...

A

Yammy...

I quickly whipped up some baby food for Lil Chick the other night.

I made all of this food:



From only THREE yams (sweet potatoes, whatever). I paid a total of $3.76. In the grocery store that would have bought approximately 8 pre-made baby food servings. I made close to 60 servings.

Those were some BIG yams. I think one may have been bigger than Lil Chick.

Who is in fact growing like a weed and is more pleasant and fun than I thought possible for a baby:



My little weed went from 13lbs 6oz to 14lbs 4 oz in ONE WEEK. Talk about a growth spurt!



However, I'm sure 1/2 a pound MUST have come from those yams...

A

Feeling The Cabin Fever...

The new Costco coupon book is sitting next to my keyboard mocking me.

Why yes, I would LOVE to purchase a six-night deluxe Maui vacation complete with car rental, daily buffet breakfast and two day spa access. And don't forget the $150 resort credit which I would blow on Pina Coladas and beach side hamburgers.

Glorious.

How many of you fellow SAHM's need a break? I've been feeling a bit o' cabin fever syndrome this past, oh, eight months or so. While I am not quite ready to leave Lil Chick for more than a few nights, a six-night beach vacation sounds like perfection.

For now I'll just throw on my svelticizing swimsuit and lay in my backyard on a bleached out beach towel listening to my summer sun playlist. I'll sip a home made Pina Colada, nosh on my own guacamole burger and wait for the kiddos to wake up from their naps.

Besides, with all the money I've saved by NOT going on the dream Hawaiian beach vacation, I can finally afford this which will nicely compliment my tan.

Whaddya all do to combat Cabin Fever? I need some cheap, easy, toddler friendly ideas. Let's hear em...

A

My Guppie....

We were invited Saturday to an impromptu swim/BBQ party to celebrate a dear little baby girl's dedication.

The dedication was simple yet meaningful...full of love and drenched in the Spirit.

The pool party invitation caused a moment of panic which necessitated alerting the Postpartum Fashion Emergency Support Group. All ended well, thanks to cleverly hidden elastic and who knows what other genius fabric to svelt-icize me. And a certain fashion consultant angel...you know who you are.

Bubbalu has proven to be a danger around water. And yes, I already knew to be extremely cautious around water with him, but this was a whole new ball game. We were thinking he would clutch us nervously while barely kicking his legs and MIGHT blow some bubbles or sit on the pool steps for a bit by himself. When he jumped off the diving board by himself into the deep end for the 18th or so time we kinda thought that maybe we should start thinking about some swimming lessons for the boy.

Good thing we had one of those toddler lifevesty things on him with 18 clips, cinched straps and head support on it.

Let's just say we got our money's worth on that purchase.

Unfortunately, I've been told that toddler swimming lessons are only to introduce the child to the water and to lessen fear of water instead of actually teaching them to swim.

"Um, Hi, my name is Amanda and I'm just wondering if you offer a class that will INCREASE his fear of water? Maybe a scary video and a terrifying pool demonstration?

No?

Oh, crap."

A

(Nearly) Effortless Buffalo Chicken Dip...

We headed up north to Canada yesterday for a sweet little boy's first birthday celebration.

I opened up my cupboards an hour before we had to leave and sighed. What in sam hill am I going to make? And no, I don't want to NOT bring something. I just don't do that.

I grabbed some canned chunk chicken left over from my Costco 8 pack and headed to the office. Enter trusty online recipe sites. I browsed a bit and came up with this lovely Buffalo Chicken Dip from AllRecipes.com.

I skipped a few steps and tweaked a bit and it turned out pretty grand.

(My version of) Buffalo Chicken Dip:

• 2 Costco cans chunk chicken, drained
• 2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
• 1 cup Ranch dressing
• 1/2 cup pepper/hot sauce (I used green Jalapeno hot sauce)
• 1 1/2 cups shredded Mexican blend Cheese
  

I threw all the directions out and lumped it all together in a pot over the stove and it turned out great. You know what? I bet it would do just dandy being microwaved. And you know how we all love convenience and happy yummy dip. It may have just earned a spot as a Super Bowl regular.

I used a bit less hot sauce due to the intended consumptors and shunned the celery stick idea for crackers. Once again, what I had in my cupboards and fridge dictated the menu. If you like a zip, kick or thwack to your food, I would suggest adding green chiles and a dash of chili powder. That oughta do it.

It got rave reviews and I am thrilled to report I have some leftovers in the fridge calling my name...

A

Notice Anything Different?

Many of you will notice my new blog accessory in the left column. I am excited and honored to be a BlogHer ads participant!

I think it's very figure flattering, don't you?

A

Summer Water Toddlertainment...

Remember this post? Hours and hours (OK, 20 minutes at least) worth of toddlertainment? This is the water toddlertainment summer edition.

I'll remind you again of the time-honored, well known formula:

Toddlers + Water = Hours of entertainment

We all know that a swimming pool is ideal, but sometimes you don't want to go through the whole swimsuit-swim diaper-sunscreen slather routine when it isn't quite hot enough to justify the whole thing. You know they will be shivering and crabby in 14.7 seconds. It's a pain.

And sometimes you just feel lazy.

Ahem.

So, my thrifty easy-peasy solution:

1. Grab any ole water container. Bucket, basin, large tupperware, tote bin, whatever. (I used a spare plastic tote bin)
   
2. Fill halfway with warm water.
3. Throw plastic measuring cups, ladles and various tub toys in. Don't expect any of it to come back into the house so hold off on the collectibles or items of ANY value.
4. Spray toddler with sunscreen (yes, I said spray. The spray sunscreen will rock your world).
5. Hat and sunglasses optional.
6. Let em at it.
   

We call it our water station. He knows it's available to play in and spends quite a chunk of time sloshing, splashing and drinking the water.



See the spray bottle? Yes, get one for them at the Dollar Store and let them spray away. Bubbalu keeps our fence, porch, deck, lawn, sandbox, siding, garden, chairs, table and screen door appropriately watered at ALL times.

He's helpful like that.

Enjoy your thrifty fun toddler water stations...but remember to supervise at all times...

A

Potty Training Advice...

No, I am not here doling out wonderful, unbelievable, too-good-to-be-true advice for all who are awash (*ahem*) in the potty training endeavor.

I want advice. I want stories. I want hope.

Here's the deal. Bubbalu is staying dry and dirty-free all day and afternoons. He's wearing big boy (Lightening McQueen!) underwear and is having very few accidents. And when he does have an accident it is of the wet variety, not the other, less desirable option. Phew.

I have absolutely NO idea how to keep a kid dry during naps and bedtime. Does the pull-up wearing phase stretch onward for a few weeks, months, or YEARS? My guess is that complete potty independence is not in the near future but I am questioning the next step.

Do I grit my teeth, coat his bed in plastic and just let him wet his underwear during naps?

Do I shrug and just put on the pull-ups for the next decade?

What I DID do was put his underwear on UNDER his diaper this afternoon, hoping he would feel when he wets and catch himself. By putting on the diaper over his underwear I was hoping to avoid the mound of bedding laundry as my current dryer takes 3 hours to dry a load (no joke). We're all about living green over here.

Also, I want to know what YOUR household does for the naming of #1 and #2. I'm not too sure I want Bubbalu to yell down aisle 11 in the grocery store, "Mommy! I have to go POOP!"

So there you have it. Give me some hints, tips and advice.

I'm all ears...

A

A Weekend In Numbers...

We loaded up the Tahoe and headed out of town for a long weekend in Seattle.

4 people.

2 adults.

2 children.

1 Tahoe.

3 nights.

4 days.

27 bags.

2 graduations.

2 missed afternoon naps.

3 minor toddler meltdowns.

1 case of intestinal "objections".

1 migraine.

2 Extra-Strength Tylenol.

1 dinner celebration party.

1 Dungeness Crab Fettuccine Dinner.

2 slices of ice cream cake.

0 DVD players in hotel room.

1 Oreo McFlurry.

2 swimming pool playtimes.

1 shaking wet toddler.

8 muffins smuggled from the continental breakfast.

8 muffins eaten for lunch.

4 loads of laundry to be done.

2 exhausted children who are STILL asleep.

We had a wonderful time but are happy to be home once again...

A

Pureed Peas Make Me Happy...

I'm a home baby food making Mama and proud of it.

I chose to make my own baby food for Bubbalu when I discovered that not only could I control what when into his food, but that is was CHEAPER and EASY.

And we all like saving some serious money.

My theory this this:

If I can purchase the product (say sweet potatoes) for less per pound in the grocery store produce section (or food co-op, farmers market or whathaveyou) than the prepackaged food then it is worth the hassle.

I have multiple gallon sized zip top bags full of baby food in my freezer. I just grab a bowl and open the door. SUPER easy. If I'm heading out for the day, I put two or three cubes in a small plastic container. When eatin' time rolls around they are usually completely thawed and ready to go. If not? A bit of boiling water and some rice cereal do the trick.

Here are a few of my favorite baby foods to make at home:

Sweet potato - BIG DOUBLE YES. I make huge batches of sweet potato and use it daily as a starter base for meals. Peel, boil until soft, puree, spoon into ice-cube trays and freeze.

Apple - Home-grown apples made into home-made applesauce lovingly donated by my parents are pureed to perfect consistency and frozen in ice-cube trays. SUPER easy. Lil Chick loves it. I usually mix in a bunch of oatmeal baby cereal. Applesauce oatmeal? Yes please!

Squash - Oh my lands, it's got to be the easiest thing around. Directions:
1. Go to grocery store
2. Purchase frozen cooked brick of squash (in frozen veggie section)
3. Defrost and spoon into ice-cube trays.

Voila. See? Not too difficult.

Pumpkin - I was wrong. Pumpkin is easier than squash. You can buy canned pumpkin and freeze it in ice cube trays. SUPER easy. Just make sure you don't buy Pumpkin PIE mix instead of plain pumpkin. Baby might be hopped up on the sugar for a good 18+ hours if you mix those two up.

Banana - Squish it around a bit before you even peel it. Then open, mash with a fork and spoon it in. Beware: Banana is slightly constipating. Might need some pureed prunes as a side dish with this one.

Avocado - Purchase, peel, mash and serve. Tons of healthy fats to help grow a baby's brain. Best to freeze in slices to prevent browning.

Peas - I buy frozen peas, microwave and puree them. Once again, spoon into ice cube trays and freeze. Watch the skins, they can be tricky. Add enough liquid to make sure it is truly a pureed consistency.

There are many many many more foods to make at home for the babes. Just think, with all the money you've saved making your baby food at home you can finally purchase that ferrari! Or a new washer and dryer. With the pedestals. And forgo the normal white and pick a COLOR.

I would love a happy and bright washer and dryer set. You KNOW that the green, blue, brown and red ones have more fun and are more satisfied (read : happy) with their appliance existance. And a happy washer and dryer means happy clothes.

And you NEED happy clothes, what with all the pureed sweet potato, apples, squash, pumpkin, avocado, banana and peas that your perfect baby will fling on you.

And where do I get all my home baby food making information? Right HERE at WholesomeBabyFood.com. Go check em out...

A

Wordless Wednesday...

A

Potty Training, Defined.

I am proposing changing terminology for the newly toilet using littles.

Stage 1 - Potty scheduled:

My Mommy takes me to the bathroom every hour on the hour, before and after meals and before and after naps or bedtime. It's quite an ordeal as I can't pull off my shorts or itty-bitty undies, get on the toilet, or reach the sink to wash my hands. I CAN reach a bunch of other things, though. I usually go, because I am there and all, but I really don't tell her when I have to go. Does she really think this is a superior and time saving method as opposed to wearing diapers? Makes one wonder.

Stage 2 - Potty Intermediance:

My Mommy occasionally reminds me and forces me to at least TRY to use the potty, but I'm starting to figure out that I have to tell her when I need to go. Sometimes I just go in my undies and forget to say anything. Mommy doesn't like that so much.

Stage 3 - Potty Independence:

My Mommy doesn't have to take me to the bathroom or ask if I have to go. I instinctively run to the bathroom and go potty and poo in the toilet. I can even put my undies and shorts back on again. I usually forget to wash my hands...but I'm potty independent, I can't be PERFECT.

We are at stage 1.275 at the moment and I can only hope that we will someday reach potty independence. I haven't had to clean up a dirty diaper in over a week...and can I just say? I am LOVING the lack of gagging on a daily basis. It's quite refreshing.

A

Greased Lightnin!

Bubbalu was given this cute Cars race track for his birthday or Christmas. I can't remember which:



I like the toy because you can race ALLLL sorts of cars on it and have competitions. Can you feel the excitement?

However, the matchbox cars have been rather slow while going down the track and many of them just get stuck. He's lost interest and it's starting to collect dust.

Enter Mommy Moment Of Brilliance. M.M.O.B. for short.

I hauled out the Pledge furniture polish, gave a paper towel a good soaking, and greased that race track till it was all sparkly and shiny.

Now those cars are FLYING down that racetrack (and some even go flying off the rim, much to his delight) and my toddler boy is engaged in super fun playtime for at LEAST 30 minutes. Hello, that's a Mommy Moment Of Brilliance if I ever saw one.

With a nice clean lemony scent to boot...

A

Rethinking Coffee...

I'm sorta on a diet.

Not a certain number of calories, points or grapefruits per day sorta diet, just a general overall rethinking of what I eat.

First up: rethinking coffee.

No, I am NOT suggesting the total exclusion of my favorite morning beverage, just rethinking what I put INTO it. As I have always said, I don't love coffee. What I love is cream, sugar, chocolate, whipped cream, caramel, syrups, sprinkles, whathaveyou. So, we are rethinking this.

Yesterday I added up the approximate number of calories I ingest by guestimating my average slosh of creamer added to my 4 cups of coffee per day.

Sidenote: Let me quickly define the "4 cups of coffee per day" statement. I have a mini 4 cup coffeemaker, but have always wondered what is defined as a coffeemaker "cup" compared to an 8 oz fluid cup. Guess what? I measured it out today and I drink 16 oz of coffee per day. SO...2 measuring cups worth. Definitely not as much as I thought.

Anyways, back to the creamer.

So my average creamer-slosh-a-day helping added up. A LOT.

I figured it is between 500-1,000 calories per DAY of creamer. YIKES. And let's not even talk about the sugar.

I promptly went out and purchased non-fat half & half which has 1/4 of the calories per serving, zero fat, and 2 grams of protein to boot. Yes, it has corn syrup added to it but at a much lower amount than the creamer. In flavored creamer the first two ingredients are listed as: Water, Sugar. In the non-fat half & half it is: Non-fat milk, milk. MUCH better for me.

Now. Let's get real.

It doesn't taste as good.

Of course it doesn't. So, to my AM cup o joe I add half & half and a smidgen of creamer. It's all about moderation, folks.

So do you think this might explain a 5 lb weight loss over the last two weeks?

Methinks so.

So what foods/meals/daily consumption might YOU need to rethink?

A

Baby Clothing System...

I went over to help my baby sister set up for her two babies who will be arriving this summer.

I forgot how much fun it is to go through tons of baby shower gift bags and set up a brand new nursery. It also reminded me how badly I need to reorganize Lil Chick's room.

Being that I have six different sizes smashed into her changing table/dresser, it's no wonder Lance gets confused when trying to dress her:

No, not those light pink 3-6 month pants, she's WAY too small for those. And not those light pink 6 month pants, they are way too short for her. No, not those light pink 0-3 month pants, they fit her funny on her legs. Here, put these newborn light pink pants on her, they are a perfect fit, can't you tell?

Honey, what's the problem? What, you don't understand my Baby Clothing System?

Let's start with the basic onesie.

Onesies:

The onesies on the front left side of the top drawer are reserved for occasional, they-don't-match-or-fit-great-but-are-there-for-emergencies onesies.

The onesies in the front middle of the top drawer are my favorite in not only style, but fit and color as well, but usually aren't there because they are either:

• in the laundry
• washed and folded and waiting to be put away on the floor of the living room, or
• in the diaper bag.

The onesies on the front right side of the top drawer are long sleeved or unisex onesies, best used for layering purposes.

The onesies and random tops in the back top drawer are matched sets that should NOT be desecrated by pairing them with non-matchy-matchy pants. If you do, then the pants are left lonely and sad, while the shirt marches on without them, getting stained and wash worn in an uneven ratio that completely upsets the system.

Unless you use that one pair of super cute minimally decaled jeans that are oh-so-cute and bootcut, THEN you may use the onesies and random tops in the back top drawer. But make sure you put on those Mary Jane shoe looking socks on to complete the look, or else it doesn't go.

See? Clear as mud.

I could go on, being that I have five dresser drawers, two shelves within the dresser, a five tiered shelf in the closet, two hanging rods, the shelf above the closet hanging rods and the entire floor of the closet worth of Baby Clothing System to share with you, but I won't.

Why?

I'm starting to get a wee bit confused...

A

Top Ten Things To Do Other Than Pee On The Potty...

Top Ten Things To Do Other Than Pee On The Potty:

1. Tear 18 million tiny pieces of toilet paper up and throw half into the toilet and half onto the floor...for decoration.

2. Adjust toilet paper bar up and down, up and down, up and down....to ensure you are responsible for the first incidence of re-drywalling in our new home.

3. Fake Mama out by grunting and groaning loudly...when she comes she will discover that instead of using the potty to poo, you were just pulling off your socks.

4. Sing your ABC'S as loudly as possible...surely this must be the appropriate time and place to practice them.

5. Pull open and empty the convenient little drawer right next to the potty that Mama has stocked with necessary bathroom essentials.

6. Pick at your toenails. After all, you went through so much grunting and groaning (see #3) to get your socks off you may as well make good use of the freed toes opportunity.

7. Pick your nose. Might as well.

8. Notice that Mama forgot to move the soap dispenser out of reach and attempt a hand soap pumps-per-minute record.

9. Gleefully discover that if you can scoot your Cars potty seat back far enough you can play in the toilet water WITH YOUR HANDS! Score!

10. With your new found toilet water access, splash a bunch of the toilet water on the floor. Being that there's a bunch of soap on it already (see #8) you might as well help Mama out a bit and do some mopping. I am certain she would appreciate using toilet water for floor cleaning purposes.

(MAYBE) 11. If you have to, I guess you could pee...but just a little bit, you need to save a whole bunch to wash your Lightening McQueen underwear with. He's been looking like he needs a bath...

A

Dinner Parties Are Not Meant For Children...

So we took the littles to a dinner party on Friday night.

It was a beautifully remodeled, Pottery Barn invoking, magazine photoshoot ready, stylish waterfront abode. I wanted to explore every inch of the place but didn't think our lovely hosts would appreciate me nosing around their laundry room or master bedroom closet.

I alternately spent my time panicking that my sunless tanner was emitting a scent only described by a metallic crossbred with my need-to-be-replaced running shoes and worrying that my toddler might walk up to the host, hold onto her chic capri pants and stare at her intently while filling his diaper with another, even more horrible, scent.

Less than five minutes after arrival Bubbalu threw both of his entertainment (matchbox cars) into the lake, once again solidifying my reasoning for purchasing his toys used. While that was quite entertaining for the rest of the guests I was less than thrilled. What am I going to occupy my inquisitive, stubborn, high energy toddler boy with now? Easy peasy: the neighbors' purple balloon which also ended up in the lake, rocks...which also ended up in the lake, and his sippy cup which ALMOST ended up in the lake. I just didn't want HIM to end up in the lake.

Bubbalu refused to eat his hot dog or anything resembling a normal diet and filled up on tortilla chips and watermelon. Ingenious combo, no? At least he drank milk. Sheesh.

Luckily there was a perfectly adorable chocolate brown lab for him to play with and a whole house full of understanding 'we have SO been there' folks.

Lil Chick blew out her pants while walking in the door which happily gained us private access to the master bathroom for changing duty. Stunning. Both the bathroom AND her diaper. She behaved very well but screamed halfway home to let her Mama know that she did, in fact, leave a bit too late. And by late I do mean 7:30.

Oy...

A

Paper Globes...

I found an awesome tutorial for paper globes over at the talented Heather Bailey. I decided that since I have a ton of scrapbook paper and zero hangydobbers for Lil Chick to stare at instead of sleeping, I deemed the project necessary.



I was extremely pleased with my results and enjoyed the project. I make three varying sized coordinating paper globes for Lil Chick's room and hung them at staggered heights with clear thread to act as a mobile:



Oh wait, who's that cutie in there!?

Hi sweetie...



(sigh)

OK, back to the paper globes. I got bit by the paper globe bug and proceeded to make another two sets of three for my sister who is expecting two babies soon. I coordinated the paper with the baby crib bedding colors she had already picked out and got to work. At 20 circles per globe, that is 120 circles folks! I liked how they turned out even better than Lil Chick's.

I hung them from lights in my house as decor during her baby shower:



So why don't you try your hand at paper globes?

My hints and tips for success:

• When coordinating papers and patterns, go outside the box a bit. Sticking with one hue leads to a boring paper globe . I prefer the globes that have an extra pop of intense color or a striking pattern. And no, they don’t look too wild or crazy. It just works. Trust me.
  
  
• Get thyself a paper shape cutter. If I had to cut out twenty circles by hand for each globe, this post wouldn’t exist and my baby girl would be staring at nothing but the ceiling. However, it would be a perfect ‘the kiddos are in bed and I need some therapy’ mindless task. Maybe something to do while watching Friends reruns over and over again….not that I do that (every night at 10:00).
  
  
• Use a glue stick to affix the circles to one-another....and make sure you have PLENTY of glue sticks proportionate to the project at hand before you begin. Make sure said glue sticks are NOT the seven year old glue sticks you purchased on a thrifty stock-em up clearance sale that have since turned to stone. These don't work so good. You may even have to make an emergency late night trip to Rite-Aid to remedy the situation...not that I did that (night before the party, 10:30 PM).
  
  
• Use the never-used-forgot-I-had-it paper scorer attachment on your paper cutter to make the folding super easy and crisp.

And WHERE is the tutorial? Download the pdf file off of Heather Bailey's site. Scroll down, bottom right under FREE Patterns. Not only is the pattern free, but scrapbook paper? C'mon, it's SO cheap...especially if you have one or three tote bins full of it just sitting around, right?!

Enjoy!

A

Ugly McUglyson...

I have a few pets. Nineteen actually....nope, twenty. OK, maybe eighteen. They just keep moving so fast I can't count em.

We are fish people, y'all. We did not choose to be fish people, they chose us.

We purchased our home complete with a HUGE built in fish tank. So now we are fish people.

Our fishtank is rather sparse looking being that it is so big, and we haven't been able or willing to upgrade it's decor or inhabitants much.

We did, however, purchase a helpful sucker fish so that we could be lazy and watch him eat the gook off the inside of the tank.

Meet Ugly McUglyson:



I named him. Cause he isn't exactly attractive. He's actually kinda creepy looking.

But I didn't care because owning him allowed us to be lazy. And I like myself a good dose of lazy.

Alas, I am speaking in the past tense because a few weeks ago, Ugly passed away and went to the great big fishbowl in the sky.

I'm not able to get my dose of lazy anymore...and the fish tank has seen better days. It's not exactly the pièce de résistance of the house that it once was. More like a grody goo box.

I want a beautiful, lush, tropical snorkel vacation invoking fish tank. Not a grody goo box. Maybe something like this:



And while I'm in the fishtank makeover process, I may just redo the downstairs bathroom and add this:



and this:



Because who doesn't want a dozen or so eyes on you while you go about your bathroom business?

I'm sure a certain toddler of mine would be THRILLED to use the fish potty and sink. He might even put his potty and poo-poo into the fish potty chair on a regular basis.

That's it, I'm SOLD!

A

Our Routine...

"Read Big Red Barn? OK!"

"...only the mice were left to play, rustling and squeaking in the hay. While the moon sailed high in the dark night sky."


"Read Gnight Thumper? OK!"

"...Papa and Mama kissed him, and before long, Thumper was fast asleep. Goodnight Thumper."


"Read Goodnight Moon? OK!"

"...Goodnight nobody, goodnight mush. And good night to the old lady whispering, "Hush". Goodnight moon, goodnight stars, goodnight noises everywhere."


"OK bud, into bed and we'll pray and sing our songs."

"Now I lay me down to sleep..."

"Sing world hands? OK!"

"...Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world."


"Goodnight Bubbalu, Mama loves you."

"I wuv u Mommy"

Right there. That feeling of utter joy when your child first starts telling you he loves you. I want to bottle that up and keep it stored high on a shelf to open whenever I feel sad, down or in need of a little encouragement. Just a little taste of that feeling could turn a horrible day right side up.

Lord, thank you for my children. Help me to be a patient, kind, loving mother to them today. Shine through me to be Your light in their lives.

A

Beautification In A Bottle...

My fashionable beautifying tip of the day...no, month....no, year...OK, FOR LIFE:

GET A TAN!

And no, I am not proposing a lifetime membership at the tanning salon.

Tan in a bottle, spray tan or professionally applied tanner product, whatever. Just get some color to cover the winter white.

I have been using a knockoff product for the past couple of weeks with a pretty good result...just don't look too closely at my ankles or forearms. I tell ya, you need your Masters in Lotion Application to not have some sort of streak or extra "tan" in certain areas. I only attended the high school equivalent of Lotionization...which is why I have streaks, smudges and over tan ankles and forearms.

Although I have made a miraculous discovery to remedy that issue.

You know that lovely post I did a while back about the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser?

Yeah, you guessed it, it TOTALLY erased those extra pigmented over tanned streaks and marks!

And yes, I do realize that it is not an approved use of the product.

So folks, cover up the winter white with a lovely bottled tan. There's no need to freak about the application as long as you have a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser around, you're GOLDEN (pun completely intended).

A

Shirt Smoothers Unite!

I'm proud to be a shirt smoother.

That is, if I eventually remember the sad little load left in the dryer for the past three or seven hours (days). Why does that sad little load get forgotten every single time? It really shouldn't be THIS difficult, should it? Having an archaic dryer that takes more than a few hours to dry one measly load doesn't help matters any.

However, once I actually retrieve the forgotten load from the dryer I immediately smooth the shirts.

I usually employ the back of whichever sofa or love seat is closest to me (or the TV *ahem*) and one by one lay the shirts across the back of it and use my hands to smooth all the shirts out nice and neat.

That way, when I get around to actually hanging up the smoothed shirts (which may or may not be in the next two to seven days) they are relatively wrinkle-free.

Hand ironed if you will.

Which may explain why my one and only iron has officially been designated for craft use and is currently suffering from a bad case of adhesive stick-ums residue.

I must confess that I tend to steal clean shirts from the smoothed-out shirt pile before hanging them up in the closet. I also tend to have multiple stolen from smoothed-out shirt piles scattered about the house.

Today I managed to hang up my THREE stolen from smoothed-out shirt piles. I felt a great sense of accomplishment and pride of self.

But guess what I just found in my dryer?

A sad forgotten little load...

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